Sabrina And The Kiss

Int. Spellman living room. Hilda and Sabrina are putting the finishing, decorative touches to items donated for a charity sale. Salem, forever charitable sits and watches. Zelda comes from the kitchen with another box load of goodies.

Zelda- Hilda, I am so proud of you. Who would have thought that my sister would head the charity event to benefit the Westbridge Library.

Salem- Not me, considering the last book she read was ‘Yertle The Turtle’

Hilda- Sabrina, pass me that hockey stick. I’ve just found a new puck.

Sabrina hands her one of the hockey sticks she’s been putting big silver bows on and picks up the other one.

Sabrina- Face off!

They both set the business ends of their sticks either side off the black, furry, cat shaped, puck.

Salem- <Sob! Sob!> Have mercy m’ladies. Remember, charity begins at home.

Sabrina- (Disappointed) Oh you’re right. (Brightening) Should we donate him to Goodwill or the neighbour’s rottweiler?

Salem- Ghe?!

Zelda- Speaking of donations, have you taken my idea to auction off a celeb for a dream date?

Hilda- Yeah. Brad Pitt said it’s a toss up between this and the picnic for the 4H club.

Sabrina- There’s got to be people willing to auction themselves off for a good cause.

Hilda- Sure, Joe Shmo will auction himself off; the trick is finding someone hot who people will pay big bucks for.

Zelda- There is someone I can get you who’s guaranteed to get people reaching deep into their wallets.

Sabrina- Mel Gibson? Mary Queen of Scots? Cedric, the entertainer?

Zelda- Me.

She points at herself and changes into a slinky and glamorous red dress.

Hilda- Wow Zellie, you look great.

Sabrina- Yeah, fantastic. You know a date with you will definitely get the library a new wing. Maybe, even, a new branch.

Salem- P-lease! Put me in that gown and you would have taken me in a hot minute.

Hilda does the honours. But the dress just doesn’t do for Salem what it does for Zelda.

Sabrina- Not your colour!

Hilda- No, definitely not.

Run opening credits.

Int. Hilda’s Coffee House. Sabrina is on shift and collecting empties but she trips and gets coffee dregs all down the front of her apron. She puts down her tray to see to the spill.

Sabrina- Argh! Lovely.

Derek- That was going to be my line.

Sabrina turns round and looks up at the handsome young man standing behind her with a large rectangular case. It’s her ill-fated, anti-mortal old flame, Derek Axelrod.

Sabrina- Wow! Derek, I never thought I’d see you again.

Derek- Yeah, I guess things didn’t end on the best of terms, but er, I wanna let you know that I’ve changed a lot.

Sabrina- Apparently. I see you’re carrying a very big purse.

Derek- Actually it’s my portfolio. I’ve been painting. People actually like my stuff. I’m going to have my own show soon.

Sabrina- Wow, that’s fantastic.

Derek- Yeah, how about you, your writing. You got Woodward and Bernstein shaking in their boots?

Sabrina- Oh, I’m just an intern, but I’m working on a big story. Ordering Lunchgate. You know I’ve been working at The Boston Citizen. Josh is a photographer there and he turned me onto the gig.

Derek- Josh? Josh? Oh that was your on again; off again guy, right?

Sabrina- Was, but we’ve been very much on for the last eight months.

Derek- Good for him, he’s got a great girl.

Sabrina- Thanks. Well do you mind if I take a peek at some of your work?

Derek- I thought you’d never ask.

They find space at one of the settees and Derek opens his picture case.

Sabrina- Now I didn’t know that you were interested in art?

He pulls out some of his paintings for her.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Oh wow! These are good. What do you call this one?

Derek- ‘Incantations’

Sabrina- Wow, I love it, and it’s got such a range of emotion. Y’know, the blues are so seductive and the reds are so passionate.

Derek- Yeah, the green represents rebirth.

Sabrina- Yeah, I got that. Wow, I could get completely lost in this painting. (Turning to Derek) Derek, you have so much depth.

Derek wastes no time and takes his chance. The smiling lips are so tempting that he leans forward and kisses her. Sabrina’s taken by surprise for only the briefest moment and jerks back, leaping to her feet.

Sabrina- (Shocked) What are you doing?!

Derek- I thought I felt some little electricity between us. You know me, I’m passionate, I like to grab the moment.

Sabrina- Yeah, I’m passionate; I like to grab my boyfriend, Josh?

Int. College house. Sabrina is sat between the girls while Miles cleaned the phone, hovering nearby so he can hear Sabrina relating the Derek story.

Sabrina- ...And then, out of nowhere, we’re in a lip-lock.

Morgan- (Excited) Oh my God! I can’t believe you kissed him.

Sabrina- I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me!

Miles- Tongue? (On everyone’s look) What? I’m trying to act interested.

Morgan- (Still excited) Oh this is such total dish!

Roxie- Morgan, don’t you dare say anything to anyone. The last thing Sabrina needs is Josh finding out before she’s had a chance to tell him herself.

Morgan- Are you insane? Sabrina can’t tell Josh what happened.

Sabrina, Roxie & Miles- (Together) Why not?

Morgan- Because if she does, her relationship will be over. Men see the world in black and white.

Miles- I beg to differ. My day is often a pale pallet of grey.

Morgan- A kiss is a kiss, no matter who initiated it. If you tell Josh, he’ll be furious, get insanely jealous, break up with you, end-of-story!

Roxie- Don’t you think Josh is deeper and more enlightened than that?

Miles- The guy dated Morgan.

Sabrina- Good point.

Roxie- So according to your scenario: Sabrina keeps her mouth shut, Josh finds out from some stranger off the street and never trusts Sabrina again?

Morgan- Hey, if it ever comes to that, Sabrina just denies the whole thing completely.

Sabrina- You know, I have to agree with Roxie. I-I could never feel comfortable with Josh if I had to carry around this big, dark secret. You know, I mean how many secrets can one girl handle?

Roxie- What other secrets are you carrying around?

Sabrina- ...Long story.

Int. The City Desk office of The Boston Citizen. Sabrina enters and walks up to Josh at his desk.

Sabrina- Hey Josh.

Josh- Hey,

He kisses her on the cheek.

Josh- (Cont.) How’s it goin’?

Sabrina- Good. I mean not good. Well not bad. It might sound bad, but I-I think if-if you hear me out, you’ll realise that I’m absolutely crazy about you and there’s no need to overreact.

Josh- (Confused) Are you all right?

Sabrina- I am, and I think you will be too if you listen carefully and try not to jump to conclusions.

Josh- (More confused) Sabrina, what’s going on?

Sabrina- Derek stopped by the coffee house last night.

Josh- Derek? What, that guy you used to date?

Sabrina- Yeah. He’s and artist now and he wanted to show me some of his paintings; you know, they were decent; blues, reds, that sort of thing. Anyway, before I knew it, Derek kissed me.

Josh- Really?

Sabrina- Wait! You said you’d hear me out. The kiss came out of absolutely nowhere. I immediately pushed him away, told him that he was out of line and that you and I are totally together. It meant absolutely nothing. You have to believe me.

Josh- I do believe you.

Sabrina- (Surprised) You do?

Josh- Of course, you couldn’t help it if the guys still hot for you. Now I’ve got to finish organising these photos.

Sabrina- I don’t know, y’know, it just couldn’t have been very easy for you to hear this and I want you to know that you don’t have to bury your overwhelming jealousy and rage behind your work.

Josh- Got ya. Now Mike needed these on his desk five minutes ago.

He picks up the photos and gives her another peck on the cheek.

Josh- (Cont.) I’ll call you later.

He leaves.

Sabrina- (To herself) Well that went well... (Frowning) I guess.

Int. Spellman living room. The aunts are still getting items ready for the charity auction. Hilda comes in with a further assortment.

Hilda- Should I auction off my hoola-hoop separately or package it with this cauldron?

Zelda- Hilda, you're supposed to come up with stuff that people actually want to buy. At least you’ve got one item that’s guaranteed to bring in the big bucks.

She holds up a large picture of herself in that slinky red dress.

Zelda- (Cont.) I remember when I was bought at an auction by Charlemain. I went for six chickens and Prussia.

Hilda smiles at her in a ‘Just humour her’ sort of way.

Int. College house. Miles is still on his cleaning kick in the kitchen while Roxie and Morgan are hard at the homework at the table. Sabrina enters.

Roxie- So, how did it go?

Sabrina- Definitely not the way I expected.

Morgan- I knew it! (To Roxie) Told you.

Roxie- Oh, I’m shocked. Josh always struck me as the kind of guy who would understand.

Sabrina- That’s just it, he did understand. I told him about the kiss, he said he trusted me, kissed me on the cheek and said he’d call me later.

Roxie- Sabrina, that’s great.

Miles- Yeah. Even I would have been compelled to mumble a mild profanity.

Sabrina- Well if it’s so great, then why do I feel unsatisfied?

Morgan- Duh! Because you were expecting a more passionate response. The guy who is supposed to be in love with you is treating you like you’re his sister, or a roommate, or a... sofa, or a dog, or a...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) Okay! I get the picture.

Roxie- I thing the fact that Josh didn’t get all emotional and crazy is a good thing.

Morgan- No. Josh putting his fist through a wall is a good thing. I trust you honey, a peck on the cheek. Ha! Kiss-of-death.

Sabrina- Okay. Now I’m unsatisfied and confused.

Int. Westbridge Library. Charity auction function. Hilda plays the perfect hostess while Zelda (in that slinky red dress) fusses over the picture of her in that slinky red dress. Unlike her niece, she is finally satisfied and goes over to Hilda who is just being tempted to have a nibble on Harvey’s treats.

Zelda- Well Hilda, it looks like your charity auction is a smashing success.

Hilda- Thank you Zellie, (Turning to Harvey) And thank you Harvey for volunteering to serve the hors d’ouvres.

Harvey- My pleasure. I also wanted to see how much personalised Harvey Kinkle hockey sticks go for.

Hilda- I’m guessing big bucks. I bundled them with my hoola-hoop and a basket of perfumed soaps.

She spots a man across the room inspecting the picture of Zelda in that slinky red dress.

Hilda- (Cont.) Oh look Zellie; someone’s coming to bid on you.

She and her sister sidle closer to hear what he has to say. Stan picks up the card propped against the picture.

Stan- Hmm (Reading) ‘Enjoy a delightful evening of intellectual discourse with a brilliant and stunning PhD who’s been published in countless scientific journals. See addendum for other irresistible credentials.’

With a shake of his head, he puts the card back down.

Zelda- (Aside to Hilda) I wrote it myself, what do you think?

Hilda- Unless William F. Buckley turns up I hope you’ve got swimsuit photos in the addendum.

They both watch as Stan walks by still shaking his head.

Hilda- Wow! He didn’t even make it to the addendum.

Zelda- He was obviously too intimidated to bid with a fantasy woman standing right here. Maybe It’s best if I slip away quietly so the bidding frenzy can begin.

Hilda- You’re the genius of the family.

Zelda- (Calling out) Well, I’m off!

Everyone in the room turns round to her.

Zelda- (Cont.) But first let me say congratulations in advance to the lucky man who forks over a boatload of cash for an unsurpassed evening of intellectual ecstasy with this red hot renaissance woman.

As she talks she flirts outrageously and badly with all the men in the room.

Zelda- (Cont.) I could go on...

Hilda- (Interrupting) Oh please do...

She pushes Zelda towards the door.

Hilda- (Cont.) ...go on.

Int. Spellman living room. With all the ladies otherwise engaged, Salem has a quiet night in planned. Get his fur in rollers, don a dressing gown and chill out with a good book and a whole cheesecake. His pleasant evening, though, is interrupted by the arrival of Sabrina.

Sabrina- Hey Salem, are my aunts around?

Salem- I have a smile and an entire cheesecake, what do you think?

Sabrina- Where are they?

Salem- They’re at the charity auction. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to sink my teeth into the new Francesca Flaum novel.

Sabrina picks up his book and looks at the cover.

Sabrina- (Reading) ‘Ravage me mucho Bubola’?

Salem- Francesca’s the best selling author in the other realm. Paws down, she the queen of passion and romance.

Sabrina- Wow! Do you think there’s a chance she’d give me some romantic advice?

Salem- About as much chance as you getting a slice of this cheesecake.

Sabrina helps herself to a slice of Salem’s cheesecake and points at herself. She vanishes in a swirl of sparkles.

Salem- Hey!

Int. Francesca Flaum’s boudoir (Francesca’s the kind of woman for whom a mere bedroom simply wouldn’t do.). A large heart shaped bed is the central feature liberally covered in heart shaped pillows. Reclining on it is a red headed woman reading a manuscripts and cuddling a lap dog. Sabrina materialises and puts the cheesecake down on a heart shaped side table.

Francesca- (Reading) "As the beads of sweat multiplied like rabid protozoa, they professed their love forever."

Sabrina- Wow! That’s beautiful.

Francesca- I know.

She looks up and notices the little blonde girl standing in her boudoir.

Francesca- (Cont.) What I don’t know is who you are and what you’re doing in my office.

Sabrina- You have a heart shaped bed in your office?

Francesca- (To her lap dog) A stranger and a decorator. (To Sabrina) A lovely combo.

Sabrina- (Climbing onto the bed) Sorry. I’m Sabrina Spellman and I was hoping you could help me. You see, when I told my boyfriend that my old boyfriend kissed me, he barely reacted at all.

Francesca- Ah-ah! An insecure female protagonist with a disturbingly passive paramour. Oh my dear, I’ve written your character a thousand times.

Sabrina- Great, I’m a stereotype. But the character I’m worried about is the passive paramour. I mean, if my boyfriend really cared about me wouldn’t he have had a more passionate response?

Francesca- You want him more jealous?

Sabrina- Yeah, I guess.

Francesca- Well I can do that.

Sabrina- What do you mean?

Francesca- Oh I have everyone’s love life on file.

She goes over to a large book case full of paperback romance novels and picks up ‘The Life and Loves of Sabrina Spellman’ by Flaum.

Francesca- (Cont.) I’ll just do a rewrite on your love interest. Let me see now.

She starts thumbing through the pages humming to herself.

Francesca- (Cont.) Oh, I’m guessing that would be Harvey?

Sabrina- Oh no-no-no, that’s the early chapters. My boyfriend now is Josh.

Francesca- Oh yes, I see that. Oh, he has that new rugged look. Well I’d better get started. I just need to fetch my writing tool. (Calling out) Oh tool!

A man enters. You know him, he’s been on the cover of every cheep romance novel that’s ever been written. Tall, well muscled with long black hair, a white silk shirt open to the navel and pants that are sprayed on. I would say that he’s handsome but that goes without saying.

Sabrina- Wow! That’s some laptop.

Francesca- And he’s not even booted up.

Int. Spellman living room. Only a few crumbs remain of Salem’s cheesecake when a swirl of sparkles heralds Sabrina’s return.

Sabrina- Well that worked out. I had Francesca rewrite Josh for me. Next time I see him I’ll get that passionate response I’ve been waiting for.

There’s an insistent pounding at the front door.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Ooh, that’s him.

She heads for the door.

Salem- <Gasp!> I can’t have company see me like this!

Sabrina turn and points at him and the bathrobe and curlers vanish. She continues to the door and opens it.

Sabrina- Hi Josh.

Josh- Finally! I’ve been looking all over town for you.

He barges past her into the house.

Josh- (Cont.) You’re hiding him here, aren’t you?

Sabrina- Hiding who?

Josh- That dirt-bag, Derek. Tell me where he is or I’ll tear this house apart closet by closet.

He pulls open a sideboard cupboard and wrenches out a drawer.

Josh- (Cont.) Drawer by drawer!

Sabrina follows behind him closing everything he opens.

Sabrina- Josh, Derek’s not here and even if he was, he wouldn’t fit in a drawer.

Josh- Ha-ha! You’re hiding him in the dinning room, aren’t you?

He pulls open the sliding doors and leaves in his search. Sabrina turns to Salem.

Sabrina- I think Francesca may have gone a little bit overboard on the jealousy thing.

Salem- Don’t blame Francesca, she didn’t have squat to work with.

Josh comes back from his search of the dinning room and kitchen.

Josh- He’s up stairs isn’t he?

Sabrina- No...

Josh- (Interrupting) Ha!

Sabrina- You’re acting crazy!

Josh- Well how am I supposed to act after hearing about that kiss?!

He storms off up the stairs.

Sabrina- (Under her breath) I’m still trying to figure that out. (Calling after) Listen, maybe we should reschedule tonight. Er, I just remembered I have this thing I have to rewrite as soon as possible.

Josh comes back down stairs and get right into Sabrina’s face.

Josh- What thing?! A love letter to Derek?

He turns and starts yelling at the settee.

Josh- (Cont.) Hey! Come out of there, I know you’re in there.

He walks over and starts throwing the chair cushions about. Sabrina grabs his arm and pulls him away.

Sabrina- Okay, you need to go home and get some rest.

Josh- How am I supposed to rest when every time I close my eyes I see you and that sleaze-ball kissing behind my back!

In his jealous rage he punches the wall and his fist goes clean through the plaster.

Sabrina- Er, try a little Saint Johns wart. Goodnight.

She pushes him out the door and closes it.

Sabrina- (To Salem) Well I can’t have a relationship with a jealous freak. I thought you said Francesca was the greatest romance novelist of all time?

Salem- What can I say? Every now and then she writes a stinker.

Int. Francesca Flaum’s boudoir. Fabrizio, Francesca’s rather buff writing tool, is working out with a punch bag. An elbow, a kick, a punch and a roundhouse that just skims the top of the ducking Sabrina’s head while it is still wreathed in sparkles. He stops surprised to see her.

Sabrina- Nice technique. I’ve got an emergency. Where’s Francesca?

Fabrizio- Off on another Julia Roberts romantic crises.

Sabrina- Boy, for a pretty woman she sure goes through ‘em. Well er, when is she gonna be back?

Fabrizio- With Julia? Hard to say. Two weeks; maybe never.

Sabrina- What?! You mean I might be stuck with Josh as a jealous lunatic forever?

Fabrizio- On the bright side, I will have more time to work on my biceps.

He flexes his arm, showing off his impressive musculature. Sabrina would have been duly impressed if she didn’t have her problems distracting her.

Sabrina- This is ridiculous. I can’t spend the rest of my life with a boyfriend who puts his fist through walls. For one thing, I’ll lose my security deposit.

Fabrizio- Sabrina, I would love to help you but I am no writer,

Sabrina- Wait a minute, I’m a writer. I mean, if I can crank out a newspaper article at a moments notice, I’m sure I can rewrite a romance novel.

Fabrizio- I am willing to do anything I can to help. I am Fabrizio!

And so saying he pulls off black tank top showing off more of his fine physique.

Sabrina- Okay, why are you taking your shirt off?

Fabrizio- That is what Francesca always has me do, but if it is distracting, I’ll put it back on.

Sabrina gives this a little thought.

Sabrina- No-no-no-no. If it is good enough for Francesca, it is good enough for me.

Int. Westbridge Library. Charity auction function. A huge crowd gather round the most valuable auction item and bid like mad.

Hilda- Harvey, people are fighting like crazy over your hockey sticks, but no one has bid on Zelda!

Harvey- That’s because my hockey sticks didn’t brag about how brilliant and beautiful they are.

Hilda- But Zelda is brilliant and beautiful. I’ve got to be able to squeeze some cash out of that somehow. (Calling out) Yo! Check out this table. Who will be the lucky man to snap up the most valuable prize here?

One man is tempted away from the hockey sticks and wanders over.

Hilda- (Cont.) Oh here comes a man who knows a good value when he sees one.

Joe- You bet I do. These short bread cookies are worth triple the price.

He reaches for the basket of cookies beside Zelda’s picture.

Hilda- You chose cookies over my sister?!

Joe- Well they’re from Scotland.

Harvey- Those are the best!

Harvey gets a smack in the ribs from Hilda.

Int. Francesca Flaum’s boudoir. Sabrina is lay sprawled on the large, heart shaped bed with her hand draped dramatically across her brow as she dictates to Fabrizio.

Sabrina- Steeling herself with an inner strength heretofore unknown, Sabrina assures Josh that Derek’s kiss meant nothing, but Josh, still fearful that he might lose his beloved, eloquently expresses his heartfelt sensitivity to Sabrina.

Fabrizio- <Sniff!> <Sob!>

Sabrina- Wow! I moved you to tears. Am I that good?

Fabrizio- No. That is what Francesca always has me do. But if it is distracting, I can stop.

Sabrina- Hey, y’know, your choice.

Int. Hilda’s Coffee House. Sabrina stands at the door after entering, unnoticed by Josh, who is sat on a settee nursing a mug of coffee.

Sabrina- Great, there’s my sensitive Josh. Now I’ll finally get that heartfelt response I’ve been waiting for.

She makes her way towards her boyfriend but is swooped on by Morgan.

Morgan- Oh Sabrina, thank god you’re here. I’m ready to lose my mind.

Sabrina- Oh what happened, a customer asked you for a refill?

Morgan- No. It’s that boyfriend of yours.

At that moment the boyfriend in question looks up and sees Sabrina.

Josh- Oh Sabrina, please don’t go. I can’t bear the thought of my life without you in it.

He clings to her arm and starts sobbing on her shoulder.

Morgan- Gross! He’s even more pathetic now than when he was dull and passionless.

She leaves, getting back to work.

Josh- <Sob!> I know you must hate me for acting like this <Sob!> For unveiling my weak side to you.

Sobbing he drops to his knees and grasps her leg tightly. Sabrina tries, unsuccessfully, to pull free.

Sabrina- Josh, get a grip!

Josh- <Sob!> But I’m devastated that your lips have touched another mans! <Sob!>

Sabrina- (Still trying to pull free) Okay, this is definitely not what I had in mind.

Josh- <Sob!> I know I can be a little clingy and needy, but I can change. <Sob!>

Finally she manages to pull her leg free; which she’s very grateful as it was beginning to attract an audience.

Sabrina- Yeah well, the sooner the better.

Int. Francesca Flaum’s boudoir. Fabrizio is startled by the sudden arrival of Sabrina.

Fabrizio- Well?

Sabrina- Take your shirt off, we’ve got writing to do.

He tosses aside his feather duster and removes his shirt. Sabrina is suddenly distracted by a fine pair of pecs and a six-pack.

Int. Westbridge Library. Charity auction function. Hilda check her clip-board while Harvey checks his nibbles.

Hilda- Harvey, the bidding is almost over and Zelda’s sheet is still blank. This will be terrible for her self-esteem.

Harvey- I don’t think the "red hot renaissance woman" has a self-esteem problem.

Hilda- Trust me, she may come off totally confident and self possessed, but she’ll be devastated. I’ve got to do something. (Calling out) Please! I’m begging you, somebody date my precious, wonderful, sweet sister! (To Harvey) Or she’s going to make my life a living hell.

She starts banging her head against Harvey’s shoulder.

Jim- No way. With a pompous attitude like Zelda’s, you should pay us to go out with her.

Larry- Now you’re talking. Give me a grand and I’ll tolerate her for an evening.

Jim- I’ll put up with her for nine-fifty.

Hilda- (Furious) You must be insane!

Jim- You’re right. I’ll stay with my hockey stick and soap basket.

He leaves.

Hilda- (To Larry) You think I’d actually pay someone to date my sister? All right, nine hundred and not a penny more!

Int. College house. Sabrina straightens the cushions on the settee as the front doorbell rings.

Sabrina- Oh, there’s Josh.

She checks herself in the mirror.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Phew! Okay, I’ve worked really hard on this rewrite. I’ve un-psychoed him, I’ve de-wimped him, I know this is gonna be the Josh for me.

As she talks, she heads for the door but it opens before she reaches it and Josh enters to dramatic music in his khaki bush shirt, brown leather jacket and trilby hat and with a crack whips out his bullwhip to encircle Sabrina’s waist and draw her to him.

Indiana Josh- All right woman! I’m taking you away from Derek once and for all. Our burros are outside and we have nazis to hunt down.

Sabrina- (Under her breath) This romance writing is a lot harder than it looks.

Int. Francesca Flaum’s boudoir. Fabrizio is admiring his physique when Sabrina returns.

Fabrizio- That was quick. What was wrong with the latest Josh?

Sabrina- Let’s just say that my idea of a romantic evening is not hunting down Klaus Barbie.

Francesca- (OS) I’m back!

She enters to find Sabrina there.

Francesca- (Cont.) Oh! So are you. I thought I finished your rewrite.

Sabrina- Unfortunately it didn’t work. Josh became way too jealous, so in your absence, I did a couple of rewrites but they were complete disasters.

Francesca- (To her lap-dog) Everyone’s a writer. Sabrina, it sounds to me like you don’t know how you want Josh to react, so perhaps it’s best if we start over. Work from the original draft.

Fabrizio- An excellent idea.

Francesca- An excellent idea would be for you to wash and fluff Mr. Chow. Julia Roberts just shed all over him.

She hands her little lap-dog to Fabrizio who leaves looking less than happy.

Francesca- (To Sabrina) Now, let me quickly reread the problem chapter and when I get a sense of it, then we’ll figure out our approach.

She picks up ‘The Life and Loves of Sabrina Spellman’ and closes her eyes.

Francesca- (Cont.)(In a sing-song voice) Writing romance novels is not an easy craft, take me back to Sabrina’s original draft.

Having cast the spell she thumbs to the appropriate page.

Francesca- Ha-ha! (Turns page) Aw. Well no wonder none of the other rewrites worked out.

Sabrina- What are you talking about?

Francesca- Sabrina, as with any good story, you need to read between the lines. Examine the gestures, the expressions.

She picks up her magic pen and waves it producing a wide screen image of Sabrina telling Josh about the kiss.

Image Sabrina- Derek stopped by the coffee house last night.

Image Josh- Derek? What, that guy you used to date?

She pauses the image and circles Josh’s face.

Francesca- I see a very emotional reaction here.

Sabrina- Really?

Francesca- The news cut like a dagger through Josh’s heart. Could Sabrina’s old boyfriend, Derek, have rekindled the flame between them?

She flicks her pen and the image moves on.

Image Sabrina- Yeah. He’s and artist now and he wanted to show me some of his paintings; you know, they were decent; blues, reds, that sort of thing. Anyway, before I knew it, Derek kissed me.

Francesca- Josh’s heart started pumping wildly.

On the image a large red heart is clearly visible on Josh’s chest pumping… um wildly?

Francesca- (Cont.) Would his one true love leave him sad, desperate and pining for her for the rest of his born days?

Image Josh- Really?

Image Sabrina- Wait! You said you’d hear me out. The kiss came out of absolutely nowhere. I immediately pushed him away, told him that he was out of line and that you and I are totally together. It meant absolutely nothing. You have to believe me.

Image Josh- I do believe you.

Once again Francesca pauses the image.

Francesca- And Josh did believe her and he could see that Sabrina’s words were heartfelt and he knew that they had built a strong bond of trust between them and he loved her more than ever.

Sabrina stands with a big silly smile on her face and a tear in her eye as Francesca dismissed the wide screen image.

Sabrina- Wow! You know, looking back at it, Josh seems so much more...

Francesca- Romantic? Sabrina, the reason why none of the other rewrites worked is because the original story was perfect the way it was.

Sabrina-Yeah, I guess so.

Francesca- (Laughing) Many times people mistake jealousy and insecurity for passion, but true love is built on trust and mutual respect.

Sabrina- Thanks Francesca. Y’know, for helping me read between the lines.

Sabrina pager starts beeping.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Oh! That’s the newspaper paging me. Well if you ever need me to write a hard news story for you, I’m much better with that.

Francesca- Thank you dear. (Calling out) Fabrizio!

The muscle mountain appears with a pose straight from the cover of Mills and Boone.

Francesca- Now it’s my turn to get washed... and fluffed.

Int. The City Desk office of the Boston Citizen. Things are pretty quiet as Sabrina enters finding Josh alone and hard at work.

Sabrina- Hey, burning the midnight oil?

Josh- (Putting down his pen) Yeah, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Sabrina- And a girl's gotta let her man do what he does because changing him will only get her into trouble.

Josh- Say that again?

Sabrina- Nah, it’s not important. Is Mike here? I think he paged me.

Josh- No, it’s just you and me... and Henri.

Sabrina- Who’s Henri?

On queue Henri, the waiter enters wheeling a tray of silver servers up to the conference table where he throws a table cloth over it.

Henri- I’m Henri. Good evening mademoiselle, I’ll be your waiter tonight

Sabrina- What...?

Josh holds a chair for Sabrina to sit.

Sabrina- (Cont.) What’s going on?

Josh- Oh just your average photographer boyfriend having a romantic dinner with his, not so average, journalist girlfriend. Henri, lights please.

With a bow, the waiter goes and turns of the bright lights of the office leaving only candles, fairy lights and from somewhere, soft, romantic music.

Sabrina- Wow Josh, this is unbelievable.

Josh- No, you’re unbelievable.

He kisses her on the cheek and goes to sit opposite her.

Josh- (Cont.) I guess I’ve always known that but for some reason it really hit me when you told me about that kiss.

Sabrina- It did?

Josh- Yeah, I have to admit, at first I was a little jealous, and then I found myself getting insecure.

Sabrina- Yeah, and let’s not forget your nazi hunting phase.

Josh- What?

Sabrina- Go on.

Josh- (Taking her hands in his) Then I realised I had no reason to get all crazy. One of the things I love most about you is I know I can trust you. Is this making any sense?

Sabrina- Totally.

She stands drawing him to his feet with her...

Sabrina- ...And she fell into his arms bathed in the contentment that she had found the Josh she had always dreamed of.

Josh- Ha! You should write romance novels.

Sabrina- (Stepping into the circle of his arms) No. I think I’ll just stick with the romance.

Josh dips her backwards and bends to kiss her and Francesca has a new cover picture for ‘The Life and Loves of Sabrina Spellman’

Int. A restaurant. Sabrina’s not the only one enjoying a romantic dinner. Well Larry is at least enjoying the dinner as he tucks into his steak even if the company is a little hard going.

Zelda- ...Then after I finished my fellowship at the Soboan, I took a brief sabbatical at Oxford.

Larry- U-hu. Could you pass the steak sauce?

Zelda- (Passing the sauce) Larry, I hate to be tacky, but what did the bidding finally close at for this date?

Larry- Oh, nine hundred big ones.

Zelda- (Pleased) Really? That’s an impressive figure.

Larry- I still say you got me cheap.

Zelda- What do you mean, I got you cheap?

Larry- I should have held out for a grand.

Zelda- Wait a minute, let me understand this. You are saying you were given money to go out on a date with me?

Larry- Yeah, didn’t your sister tell you?

Zelda- Hilda’s gonna pay for this.

Larry- She already did.

Run credits.