Hilda And Zelda: The Teenage Years

Int. Spellman upstairs landing. Salem is sat on the linen basket as Hilda comes from her room wearing a blue knit sweater and a chest like Arnold Schwartzenegger.

Hilda- Does this sweater make me look fat?

Salem- A little.

Hilda- I don’t get it. Zelda’s clothes usually fit me fine.

Zelda comes up stairs.

Zelda- Hilda! Coffees ready.

She sees her sister in her sweater.

Zelda- A-ha! Caught you.

Hilda- Well I’m kind of hard to miss today. What’s with this sweater?

Zelda- I put a spell on my clothes so you wouldn’t borrow them without asking me.

Hilda- A booby-trap! You are so sneaky

Salem- You know it makes your legs look really thin.

She takes off the sweater but remains barrel chested.

Hilda- Huh! It rubbed off?

Zelda- Yes. I put a time release on it. You’ll be that way for an hour.

Hilda- You never did learn to share.

She storms off to her room. Zelda follows.

Zelda- Well I’d be happy to if you’d just learn to ask.

Sabrina comes out of her bedroom and looks after them down the hall.

Sabrina- (To Salem) What are they arguing about?

Salem- Like I listen.

She sees a nice blue knit sweater hanging over the banister rail and picks it up.

Sabrina- Cute sweater.

Salem- It’s Zelda’s. You might wanna ask her before you put it on.

Sabrina- I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.

She buttons it up.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Look! it fits perfectly.

Her chest and upper-body suddenly expand until she’s the same size Hilda was.

Sabrina- (Cont.) What’s happened?!

Hilda comes running.

Hilda- Oh-no! She got you too. The sweaters hexed!

Sabrina- Why can’t I just live in a normal house? Why can’t a sweater just be a sweater?

Hilda- Poor Sabrina.

She goes to give her niece, who’s on the verge of tears, a hug but they can’t. Their chests are in the way. They try various ways to get their arms round each other but...

Hilda- Zelda! Could you give me a hand here?

Zelda- Of course.

She gives Sabrina a hug.

Zelda- Ohhh.

Run opening credits.

Int. Westbridge High School cafeteria. Sabrina sits opposite Harvey as he gives her the news.

Sabrina- Are you kidding? I’d love to meet the Violent Femmes. When? Where?

Harvey- Well they’ll be signing CD’s at Music City in Boston tonight at midnight.

Sabrina- Midnight! That’s perfect. I have no conflicting plans. But I still have to ask my aunts.

Harvey- Just tell them what I told my parents. It’s an astrology field trip.

Sabrina- Don’t you mean astronomy?

Harvey- Wow, they’re paying even less attention than I thought.

Sabrina- This’ll be so much fun. You, me and the Violent Femmes.

Libby turns round from the next table.

Libby- You’re going to see the Violent Femmes?

Harvey- Yeah.

Libby- You have to let me come with you.

She picks up her tray and sits beside Sabrina.

Libby- (Cont.) I will do anything to meet Gordon Gano. You know I hate this word but... Please? The more the merrier.

Harvey looks across at Sabrina and nods that it’s okay with him so it’s up to her.

Sabrina- All right, you can come.

Libby- Thanks! This is so great. I love the Violent Femmes.

Gordie’s passing with his tray and overhears.

Gordie- You’re going to see the Violent Femmes? Can I come too?

He sits at their table beside Harvey.

Libby- No! Jeez Gordie, you can’t just invite yourself along.

Sabrina- I thought you just said ‘The more the merrier’?

Libby- Twist my words why don’t you.

Harvey- Look. It’s my car and I say any Femmes fan is welcome. So Gordie, you’re in.

Gordie- Cool!

Harvey- Cool!

Sabrina- Cool!

Libby- Shotgun!

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina has just broached the subject of the trip.

Zelda- Boston? Midnight? Rock band? It sounds kind of dangerous.

Sabrina- Oh but it’s not! It’s totally save.

Hilda- What’s the name of the band again?

Sabrina- The Violent Femmes.

The two aunts look at one another and Sabrina realises she has not done her cause any good.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Which is completely ironic because there aren’t any Femmes in the band, let alone violent ones.

Zelda- Look. Maybe if you had some adult supervision. Hilda and I could go along?

Sabrina- That’d be the most embarrassing thing ever. I can’t show up with old people!

Hilda- Now don’t try sweet-talking us.

Sabrina- You know what I mean. Come on, don’t you trust me?

Hilda- We do, but there are lots of sicko’s out there that we don’t.

Zelda- And there’s always peer-pressure which can cloud your judgement.

Sabrina- So in other words. You trust me but you don’t trust me.

Hilda- I’m glad our position is clear.

Sabrina- You have to let me go!

Zelda- Not without adult supervision.

Sabrina- Then I can’t go. You guys ruin everything.

She runs off up-stairs for a good sulk.

Zelda- (Calling After) We ruin it because we care.

Hilda- (To Zelda) It’s so hard.

Zelda- I wish there was some sort of compromise.

Hilda- There must be some way to make us all happy. She could...! No. Or we could...! No! Or what if...!

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina paces reflecting on the utter unfairness of life. Salem listens. He’s not going to get back to sleep until she’s done anyway.

Sabrina- This stinks! If it was up to them I’d stay in my room and never have fun.

Salem- I’m a house pet. It’s hard for me to sympathise. Hey! Have you checked out the dust bunnies under your bed? They’re fun.

There’s a knock at the door.

Hilda- Sabrina?

Sabrina- What?

Hilda- There’s someone here to see you.

Sabrina- Who?

Zelda- Open the door.

She goes over and opens it. There are two teenage blonde girls stood outside.

Girls- (Together) Surprise!

Their voices sound familiar but Sabrina doesn’t recognise them.

Sabrina- Do I know you?

Girl #1- Don’t you recognise us?

Girl #2- I’ll give you a hint. That was it.

Sabrina looks from one girl to the other not believing what she’s seeing... or hearing. But their can be no doubt from their voices. Girl #1 is Hilda and Girl #2 is Zelda. It’s just that they're teenagers.

Sabrina- Oh my god. What are you guys up to?

Hilda- We know you objected to adult supervision but how do you feel about... teenage supervision?

Sabrina- You’d go with me to the Violent Femmes?

Zelda- Yes. Your friends’ll never know and you wont have to be embarrassed.

Sabrina- Just incredibly weirded-out.

Hilda- Aw! This body pinches.

Zelda- Don’t slouch.

She reaches out and pulls the teenage Hilda’s shoulders back.

Zelda- (Cont.)(To Sabrina) So, what d’ya think?

Sabrina- I don’t know. I mean for one thing your voices do not sound like normal teenagers.

Zelda- We can change that.

She points at her throat.

Zelda- (Cont.) Is this better?

It is. A lot better as the voice now suits the body. Hilda does the same throat pointing trick.

Hilda- And how about me?

She still sounds like Hilda but a male Hilda.

Hilda- (Cont.) Oops, wrong direction.

She clears her throat and try’s again.

Hilda- (Cont.) There we go.

She still sounds like Hilda but a younger Hilda.

Sabrina- Not bad. Maybe this could work.

Hilda- Far-out!

Zelda- Swell!

Sabrina- Ah! The word is... Cool.

Zelda- Cool!

Hilda- Cool!

They leave practising.

Zelda- Cool!

Hilda- Cool!

Hilda and Zelda- Cool! Cool! Cool!

Salem- (To Sabrina) That is so creepy.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda is tidying up the counter as Sabrina comes down stairs ready to go.

Sabrina- What are you doing? Harvey’ll be here any minute.

Zelda- I was just making us some snacks.

Hilda comes bouncing down the stairs and looks pleased with herself.

Hilda- Hey! I can take stairs two at a time.

Sabrina- Is that what you’re planing to wear?

Hilda looks down at her dress. Although she has the body of a teenager she still has the dress sense of a six hundred year old.

Hilda- Why not?

Sabrina- Here, try this.

She points and Hilda’s outfit transforms into a red sweater and red tartan mini skirt with a black jacket and hose. A matching hat adds a little something.

Hilda- Hey, don’t I look... Cool.

Sabrina- Next.

She turns and gives aunt Zelda a blast with the fashion finger. Her pink sweater and black skirt changes into a striped crop top and skin tight PVC pants.

Zelda- My midriff is showing!

Sabrina- You’re sixteen. It’s okay.

Zelda- I am not leaving this house dressed like a hussy!

Sabrina- You are or you’re not going.

There are two blasts of a car horn.

Sabrina- (Cont.) It’s Harvey! Lets go!

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina leads the way to the door giving last minute instructions.

Sabrina- Now remember. You’re my extremely shy cousins Hilda and Zelda. Wait! No-one would name their kids that. Okay, you’re Hillary and you’re... Zellary.

Zellary- Zellary?

Sabrina- Yeah. You’re parents were hippies. Go!

They all grab their coats and leave.

Int. Harvey’s car. Harvey’s at the wheel as the drive through the night to Boston. Sabrina sat beside him in the front seat with Libby beside her. In back Hillary and Zellary are sat next to Gordie. The cars pretty cramped. ‘I hate the TV’ plays loudly on the car stereo.

Zellary- It’s very uncomfortable in here.

Sabrina- Yes but we’re teenagers. We don’t care.

Hillary- Can you turn the music down? It’s a little hard to take.

Sabrina- It’s the Violent Femmes.

Hillary- Oh! I love them. Turn it up.

Harvey reaches for the stereo to crank it up.

Zellary- Hands back on the wheel! Ten and two! Ten and two!

Harvey grabs the wheel.

Harvey- (To Sabrina) Jeez! Someone took drivers ed’ a little too seriously.

Gordie- She’s right you know. (To Zellary) I’m always saying that to people but they just don’t listen.

Zellary- Fools.

Libby- (Under her breath) Gordon Gano. Gordon Gano. Gordon Gano.

Sabrina- What are you doing?

Libby- Reminding myself why I’m in this clown car. (Under her breath) Gordon Gano...

Ext. A snow covered street in Boston. Sabrina, Hillary, Zellary and Libby stand in a long queue stretching way down the snow covered pavement. Libby’s very excited.

Libby- Just think. The Violent Femmes are breathing this same air.

Sabrina- Cool!

Zellary- Cool!

Hilda- ...Cool? It’s down-right cold. And where are the guys? Shouldn’t they have parked the car by now? And why isn’t this bakery open?

Sabrina- Stop complaining. This is what we drove here for.

Libby pulls a book out of her bag.

Zellary- How smart! Libby brought a book.

She bends down to read the title on the sleeve.

Zellary- (Reading) ‘The Magic Within’ Now what’s that about?

Libby- I’m going to cast a spell on Gordon Gano.

Sabrina- A spell? Like witchcraft?

Libby- Oh please. That’s just twaddle. This is a self-help book. It teaches you how to summon your feminine powers. That’s the magic within.

Sabrina- Hence the title.

Libby- And if it works, when I meet Gordon Gano he wont be able to resist me.

Hillary- What d’ya mean?

Libby- Well you’ll have to shell out the twelve ninety-five for the details but I learned how to do this thing with my eyes that will bring any man under my spell.

Sabrina- Does it go something like this?

She skeins, cross-eyed.

Libby- No. And I’m not going to waste my powers by showing you. In fact I’m supossed to start conserving my energy now.

She takes a pair of dark glasses from her bag and puts them on.

Zellary- Hey, there they are!

Libby- Who? I can’t see.

Sabrina- It’s Harvey and Gordie.

The guys arrive.

Harvey- Man! This line is really long.

Gordie- Wow Libby, you look cool!

Libby- Thanks. Did Gordie say that? He knows nothing about cool.

Harvey comes up behind Sabrina and wraps his arms about her.

Hillary- Oh that is so cute.

Zellary- I wish I’d brought my camera.

Sabrina- (To Harvey) What are you doing?

Harvey- Well I thought you might be cold.

Sabrina- Actually I’m-I’m warm! In fact I’m even feeling a little flushed.

She pulls his arms away self-conciously.

Zellary- I’m cold. (To Sabrina) Perhaps because I’m barely dressed?

Gordie- Oh would you like my scarf?

He takes it off and gives it to Zellary.

Zellary- Thank you Gordie. How kind.

She wraps the scarf around her neck and Sabrina takes her arm and pulls her a little away from the others.

Sabrina- Zellary! Can I speak to you a moment? What are you thinking? You just took Gordie’s scarf!

Zellary- So? I’ll give it back.

Sabrina- No! That means he likes you, and by accepting it, it means you like him. It’s the teenage code!

Zellary- It’s just a scarf.

Sabrina- You are so naive.

Hillary- We’re moving! We’re moving!

Sabrina and Zellary hurry back into place in the queue and shuffle forward a few paces.

Hillary- (Cont.) We’ve stopped. I don’t believe it. How long is this gonna take?

Later.

Zellary- And Frankly I think it’s time for Allan Greenspan to step down.

Gordie- I couldn’t agree with you more.

Sabrina- Well that was a fun conversation. Now can we talk about anything else? Music? Cars? Food?

Zellary- That reminds me, anyone want snacks?

Harvey- Yeah!

Zellary- I brought carrot-sticks and hard boiled eggs.

Gordie- My favourite!

He helps himself to a boiled egg.

Harvey- (To Sabrina) Who taught her what a snack was?

Hillary- My legs hurt. We should have brought chairs.

Sabrina stares daggers at her. Harvey looks at her with a frown.

Hillary- (Cont.) Y’know, to sit on.

Sabrina- We know what chairs are.

Zellary- I’m cold. I wanna go back to the car.

Sabrina- Great idea.

Gordie- I’ll walk you. Harvey, toss me your keys.

Harvey- Here you go.

He throws his keys over to Gordie who already has his hands full with a bag of boiled eggs. He can’t juggle the two so everything ends up on the floor.

Gordie- Hey! Bad throw.

Gordie and Zellary pick up the keys and eggs.

Zellary- (To Gordie) Let's go.

They leave.

Hillary- I can’t take the waiting any longer. I’m going to see what the hold up is.

She leaves heading for the front of the queue.

Harvey- Boston really seems to have blown your cousins minds.

Sabrina- Yeah, they’re not as grown up as they think they are.

Harvey- Well, at least we’re alone know.

He slips his arm around her again.

Sabrina- Except for the little match girl.

They look across to Libby who’s stood facing out into the street in her dark glasses.

Int. Harvey’s car. Gordie sits in the drivers seat beside Zellary.

Zellary- It was very sweet of you to see me back to the car. I’ll make sure to lock the doors when you go back.

Gordie- I’m not going back.

Zellary- But... you’ll miss the Violent Femmes.

Gordie- I’d rather be with you. I wanna know everything. Let's start with how you got such an unusual name? Zellary.

Zellary- It’s not that unusual.

Gordie- I think it’s tantalising, and very poetic.

Zellary- It rhymes with celery.

Gordie- Ha-ha! You are just delightful.

Ext. The front of the queue for the Violent Femmes. Hillary arrives and finds a giant of a Security Guard keeping an eye on things. She goes up to him and taps him on the shoulder.

Hillary- Excuse me!

He turns and looks down at her.

Hillary- (Cont.) Hi! I have a question.

Security Guard- Gas station at the corner.

Hillary- No. My friends and I have been waiting for a very long time and I’m feeling a tickle in my throat. So I was wondering if we could pop in, say hello to the band and go home to bed?

Security Guard- You mean let you cut-in line?

Hillary- I think...

She slips her hand into her purse and pulls out a note.

Hillary- (Cont.) Andrew Jackson can explain it better than I can.

Security Guard- Hey! I don’t let anyone cut. Especially not for a twenty.

Hillary- But I’m sick of waiting.

Security Guard- Then you’ll have two choices. Continue to wait or go home.

Hillary- But I... wha...

Security Guard- (Interrupting) Or keep pushing me and you wont get in at all. Now get back in the line.

Hillary- I don’t like your tone. I want your badge number.

The Security Guard immediately covers his badge with his hand.

Hillary- (Cont.) Move your hand!

Security Guard- I said get back in line, missy.

Hillary- Missy! Who are you calling missy?

Meanwhile further down the queue. Harvey cuddles Sabrina to his chest. Sabrina smiles happily.

Harvey- I’m glad you got cold.

Sabrina- Me too.

Zellary- (OS) Sabrina!

She quickly pulls out of his arms as her cousin arrives.

Sabrina- All warm!

Zellary- We need to talk.

She pulls Sabrina away.

Zellary- (Cont.) Gordie just asked me to go steady.

Sabrina- I knew it! What did you say?

Zellary- Well I’m thinking about it.

Sabrina- What?! I forbid you to date Gordie!

Zellary- I mean I’m thing about how to say no. I don’t wanna hurt his feelings.

Sabrina- I warned you about wearing his scarf, but would you listen? No.

Zellary- Maybe you could talk to him for me?

Sabrina- You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out. How else are you gonna learn?

Zellary- But... I... Unfair!

Sabrina- And don’t pout aunt Zelda, your face is gonna freeze like that. Now go let him down gently.

She pushes Zellary away, back towards Gordie and she goes back to Harvey.

Harvey- What’s going on?

Sabrina- Well my cousins got a little problem.

Two figures run past them down the street.

Security Guard- Get back here!

Hillary- Sabrina! Help!

Harvey- Isn’t that your other cousin?

Sabrina- Yeah.

Ext. The head of the queue for the Violent Femmes. Hillary’s sat looking glum in the back seat of the guards car. The security guard leans down to talk through the window.

Security Guard- Just think about it. I’ve got all night.

Sabrina walks up to him.

Sabrina- Excuse me! Hi!

Security Guard- Gas station on the corner.

Sabrina- No. You have my cousin in your car and I was just wondering... Is she in big trouble?

Security Guard- She stole my badge.

He points to the rip in his jacket.

Security Guard- (Cont.) I want it back.

Sabrina- If I could just talk to her I’m sure I could straighten things out.

Security Guard- Fine. You talk to her, ‘cause I don’t want to.

He opens the front passenger door for her and she climbs in.

Sabrina- So, would you like to tell me what happened?

Hillary- No.

Sabrina- I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.

Hillary- I didn’t do anything.

Sabrina- What’s in your hand?

Hillary holds up her gloved hand to show a seven pointed police badge.

Sabrina- (Cont.) You know if you give the badge back he’ll let you go.

Hillary- I don’t want to.

Sabrina- Aunt Hilda! Give the badge back!

Later. The Security Guard turns round to see Hillary and Sabrina approaching from his car.

Hillary- Sir. Here’s your badge.

He takes it from her.

Hillary- (Cont.) Okay! Bye!

She turns to leave but Sabrina turns her back.

Sabrina- Don’t you have something else to say?

Hillary- (To the Security Guard) I’m Sor-ry.

Sabrina- Like you mean it.

Hillary- I’m sorry.

Security Guard- That’s better. Now go ahead, get back in line.

Hillary and Sabrina walk off.

Hillary- (To Sabrina) I’m glad that’s over.

Sabrina- We’ll talk about this when we’re at home.

They arrive back in line as the queue moves forward and Harvey guides the blind Libby along with them.

Zellary- Gordie.

Gordie- Don’t! The pain is still too fresh.

Harvey- Did they call Hillary’s parents?

Sabrina- No. I think I’m cold again.

Harvey grins and wraps his arms around her again. Sabrina smiles happily.

Hillary- (To Zellary) How are you doing?

Zellary- Terrible, these hormones are driving me nuts.

Hillary- I know. I forgot how emotional life is when you’re a teenager.

Zellary- No kidding, once was enough.

Harvey- Lines moving.

Sabrina takes over the job of guiding Libby as they move a few paces forward. The end is in sight.

Libby- Are we getting close?

Sabrina- Real close. Watch out! Manhole!

Libby screams in fright and jerks backwards.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Just kidding.

Harvey- Alright! We’re next.

Sabrina- Finally, this is going to make up for everything.

The Record stores door guard approaches them.

Door Guard- Hi. On behalf of the Violent Femmes I’d like to thank you all for waiting.

Libby- Are we going in?

Door Guard- Unfortunately the store is now closed.

Sabrina- What!

Libby- What!

Hillary- What!

Zellary- What!

Harvey- Oh boy! (To the manager) Can I talk to you a moment?

He moves the door guard away slightly.

Door guard- Look, I’m sorry about the timing.

Harvey- (Interrupting) You have to let us in. I mean talk about violent femmes. If they don’t meet the band there will be four extremely violent femmes, and I’m the one who has to drive them all back to Westbridge along with one love-sick dude. Do not make me do that. You know what I’m saying, you’ve bin there right?

Door guard- Hartford, Led Zeppelin, nineteen seventy-three. Go on in.

Harvey- Thank you.

He looks back at the stony faced quartet of pent-up female rage and sulking guy. Then back to the door guard.

Harvey- (Cont.) Really, thank you.

Int. Music City record store. Sabrina and the gang enter past the sign ‘VIOLENT FEMMES. HERE TODAY’

Libby- Do you see him?

Sabrina- Yes!

She gives a squeal of delight.

Sabrina- (Cont.) There they are!

The Violent Femmes are stood by the CD rack browsing through the stock when Sabrina’s squeal gets their attention.

Brian Ritchie- I thought they said the last group was the last group?

Gordon Gano- No. I guess the last group was the second to last group. Now this group is the last group.

Guy Hoffman- Oh.

The guys sit at the table that’s set up as Zellary and Hillary rush over, each clutching a copy of the latest CD and place them in front of the band members for autographing.

Gordon Gano- Thanks for coming.

Guy Hoffman- Thanks for coming.

Brian Ritchie- Thanks for coming.

It’s said in a bored ‘we’ve been saying this all night’ sort of way.

Gordon Gano- Thanks for coming.

Guy Hoffman- Thanks for coming.

Brian Ritchie- Thanks for coming.

Gordon Gano- Thanks for coming.

Guy Hoffman- Thanks for coming.

Brian Ritchie- Thanks for coming.

Only Sabrina and Libby are left.

Libby- (To Sabrina) Put me in front of Gordon Gano.

Sabrina- You are in front of Gordon Gano.

She slips past Libby and joins her Aunts and friends.

Libby- Oh. Let me summon my magic within.

She composes herself a whips off the dark glasses before looking down at the man before her.

Libby- (Cont.) Gordon.

Gordon Gano- Thanks for coming.

Libby- Aren’t you going to look at me?

Gordon Gano- Do you have a question?

Libby- Yes. Which do you prefer, stuffing or potato’s?

That got his attention. He looks up from signing the CD.

Gordon Gano- Huh?

Libby stares intently at him. almost quivering as she wills him to fall under her spell. Gordon looks at her with a worried frown.

Gordon Gano- (Cont.) Is something wrong with your eyes?

Sabrina- (To her aunts) Should we help her out?

Hillary- A half-hour infatuation spell ought to work.

Zellary does the pointing and twin sparks of light shoot from Libby’s eyes into Gordon’s.

Gordon Gano- Wow! You’re fantastic! I must know your name?

Libby- Libby Chessler.

Gordon Gano- Can I play a song for you Libby Chessler?

Libby- If you like.

He turns to his band-mates.

Gordon Gano- Guys let's do ‘Please do not go’

Brian Ritchie- but I have a cramp in my hand.

Guy Hoffman- And we don’t have our instruments.

Gordon Gano- We’ll use these!

He reaches for one of the display models of the shop and the guys do the same. They’re out of tune a little but what the hell.

Gordon Gano- (Cont.) Come on, it’s for Libby. One, two, three, four. (Singing) Tell you man I'm stuck on this lovely girl.
of course to me u'know she mean all the world

Libby looks round smugly at Sabrina and the rest of the guys who are dancing along to the music among the CD racks.

Gordon Gano- (Singing) but then she like another guy
I fall down dead she never see the tears I cry

The Violent Femmes- (Singing) I said please. Please. Please do not go.
Said please. Please. Please do not go.

Gordie looks across longingly at Zellary as she shakes her whammy fanny and Harvey dances with Sabrina.

Harvey- This is so...

Sabrina- Cool?

Harvey- Yeah cool!

The Violent Femmes- (Singing) Please. Please. Please do not go-o-o.

The song ends and Gordon gazes soulfully into Libby’s sparkling eyes.

Gordon Gano- I wrote that for you even before I knew you existed.

Libby- I thought so.

Brian Ritchie- (To Gordon) Happy? The car is outside.

Guy Hoffman- We’ve gotta go.

Gordon Gano- This can’t be it! (To Libby) I just met you. Hey why don’t you come hang with us at the Hotel courtesy suite? Would you? Would you?

Libby- Sure, that sounds like fun.

Gordon Gano- Great! We’re at The Copley Plaza. Bring any friends you’d like. (To the band) She said yes!

They leave. Libby turns to the rest of the gang.

Libby- It worked! It totally worked! I unleashed my magic within.

Sabrina- And now we get to go party with The Violent Femmes!

Libby- Not so fast. Gordon said I could bring anyone I wanted and I’m cool with you and the boys but I’m afraid that doesn’t include the Olson twins.

Sabrina looks round to see Hillary and Zellary looking a little upset.

Sabrina- (To Libby) What? But they came with us. We can’t ditch them.

Libby- They’re no fun. All they did was whine, complain and talk about the Federal Reserve Board. Frankly they’re an embarrassment.

Sabrina- You owe them more than you think.

Libby- I owe them nothing.

Sabrina- You ate an egg!

Libby- You’re on the verge of cool here. Don’t blow it. Now are you gonna dump ‘em or not?

Sabrina- No! Hillary and Zellary aren’t just my relatives, they’re my friends and if they don’t go, I don’t go.

Libby- Come on Harvey, Gordie.

Harvey- If Sabrina's not goin’, I’m not goin’

He moves over a slips his arm round Sabrina.

Gordie- And if Harvey’s not goin’ I’m not goin’

He moves over but doesn’t slip his arm round Harvey.

Libby- Fine, more classic eighties rockers for me. I’ll take a cab and go alone. See ya.

She turns to go.

Hillary- We can’t let her go alone. It’s not safe. Someone has to go with her.

Sabrina- Not Harvey; he’s our ride.

Zellary- I’ve got it.

She moves across to Gordie and slips her arm round him.

Zellary- (To Gordie) Gordie, could you do me a favour?

He looks at her with sad puppy-dog eyes and sighs

Gordie- Anything.

Int. Harvey’s car. There’s a bit more space for the return journey. Hillary and Zellary are both fast asleep in the back seat. Sabrina looks glumly out of the passenger side window. Harvey looks across at her.

Harvey- You could sit closer.

Sabrina- Oh not tonight.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina leads her teenage aunts through the front door and heads straight up stairs.

Zelda- Sabrina, can we talk?

Sabrina- Now’s not really a good time. Maybe next week.

She carries on upstairs.

Hilda- I feel awful.

Zelda- She was right. We do ruin everything.

Int. Spellman kitchen. The aunts enter.

Hilda- We’ve gotta make it up to her somehow. I know! W-We could... No. Or what if...? Wait. First I’ve gotta get out of this body.

Zelda- Me too. After you.

Hilda pints at her self and transforms to her old comfortable self. She does a little shimmy.

Hilda- Much better.

Zelda- My turn.

She points and sighs with relief as she slips back into her natural form.

Zelda- (Cont.) I’ll say.

She pats herself on her stomach and looks down in dismay. They both scream in horror at what they're wearing and dash upstairs to get changed.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. It’s late and Sabrina’s ready for bed in her nightie. She sits combing out her long blonde locks as Zelda and Hilda enter in their pyjamas.

Zelda- Can we come in?

Sabrina- I suppose.

She turns and sees that they’ve changed.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Oh good. You’re back to what passes for normal.

Hilda- Look. We’re really sorry we embarressed you.

Zelda- And we feel we owe you some fun. So!

Zelda points at a clear spot on Sabrina’s rug and a vacuum cleaner appears.

Hilda- Ta-da!

Sabrina- I get to clean the house?

Zelda- No. You get to fly.

Sabrina- On a vacuum?

Hilda- Yes. See old time witches used broom-sticks but vacuums are much faster and more efficient.

Sabrina- You’re gonna let me fly? I don’t believe this.

Zelda- It’s true. You proved tonight that you can handle the responsibility.

Hilda- And we were very impressed by the way you refused to buckle to peer-pressure.

Zelda- And most importantly, you called us your friends.

They have a three way hug and a tear comes to Sabrina’s eye.

Sabrina- Stop, you’re embarrassing me.

A few minutes later the vacuum is humming. Sabrina has slipped on a pair of trainers that don’t quite go with the long flowing nightie and she steps onto the vacuum.

Zelda- Is the bag inflated?

Sabrina- Check!

Hilda- Are you set for low shag?

Sabrina- Check!

Zelda- Then you’re all ready for lift off.

Hilda points at the windows of her turret bedroom and they spring open as the vacuum begins to hover above the carpet.

Zelda- (Cont.) Now keep your hands at twelve and six.

Hilda- Don’t flood it.

Sabrina- I wont! I wont!

The vacuum rises higher.

Zelda- She’s up!

Sabrina- I’m up!

She heads towards the open window and ducks her head as she passes through.

Sabrina- This is great! Wait! You forgot to tell me how to land!

The aunts rush to the window smiling and waving.

Hilda- (Calling after) Just use the magic within.

Ext. The night sky of Massachusetts. Lights sparkle like gem stones against black velvet in the sleeping City of Boston below. Sabrina whooshes through the air, a trail of magic in her wake. She stares in wonder at the earth laid out below her and for the first time begins to understand just how much power she possesses and gets a glimpse at the possibilities.

Sabrina- (To herself) I’m flying and cleaning the air at the same time.

Her hair flies out behind her from the wind of her passage as she dips over the city.

Sabrina- (To Herself) I think I’ll buzz the Copley Plaza.

She banks right.

Int. The courtesy suite of the Copley Plaza Hotel. 'Ren and Stimpy' is on the TV. The Violent Femmes sit glued to the set. Libby sits bored on the arm of Gordon’s chair. Gordie sits on the settee beside Brian and Guy eating complimentary milk and cookies.

Libby- I thought we were gonna party, not watch stupid cartoons?

Brian Ritchie- Shhh! I missed what Ren said.

Guy Hoffman- He’s going to the Muddy Mudskipper show. I’ve seen this one three times.

Gordie- Yeah it really holds up doesn’t it.

Libby- I can’t believe this is what you guys do for fun.

She gets up and walks in front of Gordon, blocking his view. He tries to see round her.

Libby- (Cont.) Don’t you wanna play more songs for me Gordon?

Gordon Gano- Not really.

Libby- Are you sure?

She gets down on one knee and stares into his eyes with a twitchy intensity trying to summon the magic within. Gordon looks at her with a concerned frown.

Gordon Gano- Maybe you should have your eyes checked.

Libby- My reserves must be depleted. Come on Gordie. Lets go home.

Gordie- Oh in a second. This is my favourite part.

Brian Ritchie- Mine too!

Guy Hoffman- Gordie, you’re the coolest.

Libby- (Under her breath) Unbelievable.

She walks off and looks out of the penthouse windows at the night sky’s of Massachusetts. A silhouette of a girl in a nightie riding a vacuum cleaner passes across the full moon.

Libby- (Cont.) Oh. Maybe I do need to get my eyes checked.

Ext. The night sky of Massachusetts. Sabrina flies so high.

Sabrina- (To Herself) I can see my house from here.

Int. Spellman kitchen. the next day. Sabrina comes in from school and passes Zelda where she’s working at the kitchen table.

Sabrina- Hey!

She tosses her school bag on the counter

Zelda- Hello Sabrina. How was school?

Sabrina- Fine.

Run credits

Zelda- How's Harvey?

Sabrina- Oh he’s got a bit of a cold.

Zelda- And Libby?

Sabrina- Unfortunately she’s great. She wont stop talking about the Violent Femmes.

Zelda- So everyone’s fine? Everyone?

Sabrina- You know you can ask about Gordie if you want.

Zelda- Well did he say anything about me? I m-I-I mean Zellary?

Sabrina- Yeah! As a matter of fact he did.

Zelda- Really! What?

Sabrina- Let me make sure I get every word exactly right. He said ‘Tell her I want my scarf back.’