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Sabrina The Teenage Witch - View Transcript

Cirque Du Sabrina

Written By - Suzanne Gangursky
Transcribed By - Paul Booth

Cast

Sabrina - Melissa Joan Hart
Salem - Nick Bakay
Morgan - Elisa Donovan
Roxie - Soleil Moon Frye
Harvey - Nate Richert
Aaron - Dylan Neal
Ringmaster - Peter Scolari
Acrobat - Christine Van Loo
Acrobat - Albert Brown

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this transcript, nor do I own any rights to the television show Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. It was created by Nell Scovell and belongs to her, Viacom Productions Inc, Hartbreak Films, and the Warner Brothers Television network. The characters are based on the original characters appearing in Archie Comics.

 

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Morgan is lay on Sabrina’s bed petting Salem while Sabrina delves into her wardrobe.

Morgan- Forget it, Spellman. From crazed hockey fan to arm candy in the same outfit? It ain’t gonna happen.

Sabrina- Why don’t they make a cocktail dress that’s low cut in the back with numbers on the front?

Morgan- You’re on your own.

Sabrina- I’ve gotta find something. I mean, these are important clients of Aaron’s and I promised Harvey I’d make it to his game. You know, I’m not the kind of girl who just ditches her friends the minute she gets a boyfriend.

Morgan- How long are you gonna keep throwing that in my face?

The doorbell rings.

Sabrina- Well, here’s your chance to redeem yourself. That’s Aaron. Go entertain him for a few minutes.

Morgan- (Smiling) No problem.

Sabrina- And not by playing ‘Have you ever dated two roommates at the same time?’

Morgan- Oh... Well, I’ll come up with something.

She leaves.

Sabrina- <Sigh> I wish I’d picked up my black pants from the dry cleaner.

Salem- Just spit-balling, but maybe you could work out this seemingly unsolvable conundrum by using a little magic?

Sabrina- Hmm, It seems someone’s fourteen hour power nap paid off.

Sabrina points and both the dry cleaners rack of polythene-covered clothes and their till materialise in a large sparkly swirl. Sabrina sorts through the rack until she finds her pants.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Excellent.

She puts her money into the till.

Salem- Er, nice try, pets have bucks.

Sabrina picks up a leaflet from the till.

Sabrina- Oh, it says here they do fur.

She walks over to Salem on the bed.

Salem- Fur? Ha-ha. Ho-no, come on.

Sabrina picks him up and hooks him onto the cleaners rack by his tail.

Salem- Hey-hey. Not funny! Oh please! Oh no-no! Nooo! Light starch please. <Sob!>

Sabrina turns to unpacking her pants, grinning.

Run opening credits.

Ext. Spellman front porch. Sabrina arrives home with Aaron and digs her keys out of her bag.

Sabrina- Oh, my friends are gonna kill me. I missed the game. I missed the pizza party.

Aaron- And you’re about to miss a kiss.

Sabrina- Oh, well I have my priorities.

She stretches up onto her tippy-toes for his kiss.

Aaron- And I’m sure your friends will understand.

Sabrina- You’re right. I mean, these things happen. It’s not like it was anyone’s fault.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina and Aaron enter to find Roxie, Morgan and Harvey sat round with their arms folded in a not very happy sort of way.

Sabrina- It was Aaron’s fault!

Aaron- Hi. Aaron Jacobs, scapegoat.

Morgan- An escaped goat? Oh, come on, Sabrina. You can come up with a better excuse than that.

Sabrina- Sadly no. Look, I’m really sorry, you guys.

Roxie- Don’t worry about it. It was no biggy saving two seats in the front row. You know how sweet and understanding hockey fans are.

Aaron- No look, Sabrina’s right. It really was my fault. We got stuck at this dumb, boring work thing.

Sabrina- Yeah, we had to meet people at The Four Seasons, and it turned out Adam Sandler was staying there so we got to go up to his suite and he was really funny. (On their looks) In a dumb, boring sort of way.

Aaron- So boring. Look, you’re not really mad, are you Kinkle? I mean, whaddya play, like, eighty games in a season?

Harvey- Oh, I’m cool. I’ve got another one tomorrow... and I’m sure I can score the winning goal two games in a row.

Sabrina- Perfect! We’ll be there. We wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Aaron- Er the world, no but a world premier, yes. (To Sabrina) I was going to surprise you with tickets to the Boston Film Festival.

Sabrina- Oh, I’ve always wanted to... (To Harvey) How about Wednesday?

Morgan- Er, Wednesday you promised to help me do my hair.

Sabrina- Well can’t Roxie help you?

Roxie- I’d love to, except I already made planes with you to try that new yoga place and Harvey’s coming with.

Aaron- Ooh, Wednesday. Y’know, we’ve got to go to that thing...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) Yeah, I’ll be there... and there and there,

Harvey- What about me?

Sabrina- And there, so there! (To Aaron) Oh, I’ll say goodnight... out there.

She leads Aaron back to the front porch for a goodnight kiss.

Int. Spellman upstairs landing. Salem’s quality time spent staring into space while sitting on the laundry box is interrupted by Sabrina coming upstairs adding entries in her diary.

Sabrina- I’m with Morgan on Tuesday, I’m with Roxie Friday. Oh! Harvey’s hockey game! Maybe I’ll convince him to take up baseball. I’m wide open in June.

Salem- You know, if you’re having trouble scheduling, I make a great gal Friday, but I will need Fridays off.

Sabrina- I’ve got everything perfectly under control. I just need to do a little juggling.

She walks into her bedroom.

Int. Sabrina’s big top circus. She enters from the landing in her colourful and sparkly all in one bodysuit with a little skirt that matches her colourful and sparkly stage makeup. The décor in the, what used to be Sabrina’s bedroom is all black. Acrobats cavort as a garishly dressed ringmaster juggles plastic balls.

Ringmaster- (In a French accent) Then you’ve come to the right place.

Sabrina- Whoa! Okay, I’ve always dreamed of running off and joining the circus but I never thought that the circus would run off and join me! Er, would you mind telling me what you’re doing here and why I’m dressed like a Russian figure skater?

Ringmaster- I have nothing but your interests at heart, mademoiselle. I pitch my tent wherever and whenever I find a witch whose life is seriously...

The acrobats who had been balanced one atop the other, collapse in a heap as the ringmaster drops one of his balls.

Ringmaster- (Cont.) Out of balance.

Sabrina- Okay, usually, I’m the first to beat a metaphor to death, but, er, my life is totally balanced.

Ringmaster- (Resuming his juggling) Something tells me otherwise.

Sabrina- Well, the only things I’m trying to balance right now are my friends and my new boyfriend. I gave up on my chequebook years ago.

Ringmaster- Well then, if your life is as in balance as you say, you should have no trouble crossing the tightrope while you juggle these.

He tosses the first if the four balls he’s juggling and Sabrina catches it. It has ‘Aaron’ written on it.

Aaron Ball- The movies, Sabrina.

The next ball has ‘Morgan’ written across it.

Morgan Ball- My hair.

‘Roxie’ is emblazoned on the third.

Roxie Ball- Sabrina, yoga tomorrow.

And lastly, of course comes.

Harvey Ball- Hockey game.

Sabrina- All right. Jeez, I get it. Obviously the French aren’t masters of subtlety, but you’re crazy if you think I’m going up there on that tightrope...

Sabrina looks down at the safety net far far below the small platform she’s suddenly perched on with a narrow rope stretching away from her.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Er, unless I should find myself fifty feet in the air with no way down!

Ringmaster- Maybe I am right; maybe I am wrong.

He flicks out a pair of spectacles as he stands beside the safety net.

Ringmaster- (Cont.) There’s only one way to see.

Sabrina- Great. A foreign double talking huckster with bad eyes. Well I’ll show you my life’s in balance. Prepare to be dazzled.

She takes tentative and wobbly steps out onto the rope.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Okay, not too bad.

Another step and starts to juggle, she manages to catch the first two balls.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Hey, I’m actually pretty good at...

With a scream she falls from the rope and lands, bouncing around, in the net.

Sabrina- (Cont.) ...Falling.

She does a little role over the edge of the net back onto the floor.

Sabrina- (Cont.) You know, in my defence, those balls were a little slippery. I mean, Morgan used tons of moisturiser.

Ringmaster- I do not think your slippery friend is the problem.

Sabrina- Okay. Y’know, maybe my life is a little bit out of balance but it shouldn’t be too hard to fix.

Ringmaster- I hope not, because until you make it to the far platform, Cirque Du Sabrina is here to stay.

To emphasise his words the two acrobats tumble passed.

Sabrina- Okay, nobody likes a show-off!

Int. Spellman upstairs landing. There is no sign at all that the greatest show on earth is just beyond Sabrina’s bedroom door and no sign at all that Sabrina is part of it when she comes out onto the landing. She’s back in her, rather dull by comparison’ everyday clothes.

Sabrina- (Calling out) Roxie! Morgan! Get out here now, house meeting!

Two sleepy girls tumble yawning from their rooms in their pyjamas.

Morgan- What’s going on? I was just having that dream where you’re at school and you have to take a test and you realise that you haven’t dated the professor.

Sabrina- Okay. Look, I can’t keep juggling everyone. So Morgan, you’re going to have to find someone else to help you with your hair, and Roxie, I can’t make yoga this week. I know this sounds harsh but it had to be said.

Morgan- And you couldn’t have waited until the morning to say it?

Sabrina- (Gesturing towards her room) Oh, I thought I might get a better nights sleep if I said it now.

Roxie- Well, as long as you get a good nights sleep. Are we done here?

Sabrina- Yeah. Yeah. Meeting adjourned.

Two sleepy girls tumble yawning into their rooms in their pyjamas.

Morgan- If I have bags under my eyes in the morning, she is so dead.

Sabrina- (To herself) Well, that was easy.

She turns and goes back into her room.

Int. Sabrina’s bedr... Big top circus. Nothing has changed other than the ringmaster is now juggling clubs instead of balls.

Ringmaster- Nothing is ever that easy.

With a sigh she closes the door.

Int. Spellman upstairs landing. Sabrina leans back against her door.

Sabrina- (To Herself) I wonder if you can fumigate for circus folk?

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina pushes herself up into a sitting position on the settee.

Sabrina- I can’t believe I had to spend the night on the couch just because the stupid circus came to town.

She looks up at Salem who has entered fully into the spirit of things by dressing as a clown with large shoes on his paws, a garishly coloured and clashing frilly shirt and hat and a large, shiny red nose.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Juggling Jock insists that my life is out of balance but everything seems perfect.

Salem- Mm-hmm. And what about Aaron, the jealous boyfriend?

Sabrina- What? Aaron has nothing to be jealous of.

Salem- Well what about your ex-boyfriend always hanging around here?

Sabrina- Harvey? That’s ridiculous, he’s not always hanging around here.

Harvey walks in through the front door.

Harvey- Hey Sabrina, I’m out of coffee. Have you guys got any fresh?

He walks straight through to the kitchen without waiting for an answer.

Salem- Huh?

Sabrina- What? He’s making coffee.

Salem- No guy wants his girlfriend hanging around with her ex. Trust me, I know these things, I’m a man... turned into a cat... turned into a clown... Oh, kill me now.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Roxie is doing Morgan’s hair with an afro pick and without a mirror. An omission which delights Roxie because it means that Morgan can’t see the frizzy red mess she’s making. Harvey pours himself a mug of coffee.

Harvey- Have you guys got any half and half?

Roxie- Nope, just chocolate milk.

Harvey- Even better.

Sabrina enters and sees Morgan’s hair.

Sabrina- Oh my <Gasp!>!

Morgan- That’s just what Harvey said. Oh my <Gasp!>

Roxie- Sabrina, tell Morgan how great her hair looks. I mean, once I add the relaxer, the toner...

She pulls at a stray hair and a whole tuft comes away. She exchanges a look with Sabrina.

Roxie- (Cont.) The neutraliser.

Sabrina- And the hat... (On Morgan’s look) Which you’ll never need again with such beautiful hair.

Harvey- Well, caffeine and chocolate beverage craving satisfied, I am out o’ here.

He gives Sabrina a kiss on the cheek, which at other times she might not have thought anything about but after her conversation with Salem, she is acutely aware of.

Harvey- See you, Sabrina. Bye, Roxie. Morgan, you’re in my prayers.

He leaves with a grin.

Morgan- He is so sweet.

Sabrina- Yeah. Listen, let me ask you somethin’? I know this is gonna sound crazy but... do you think there’s any chance that Aaron might be slightly jealous of Harvey?

Roxie- Er yeah!

Morgan- Jeez, even the cat could o’ told you that.

Sabrina- Yeah, but I’m not gonna take his word for it. (On their looks) I mean, Er, Aaron has never been anything but nice to Harvey?

Roxie- Don’t you ever notice, whenever Harvey comes up with a plan, Aaron immediately comes up with a counter plan? "Sabrina, I got you a surprise. Film Festival tickets." Not too obvious.

Morgan- Face it. You’ve got yourself a jealous boyfriend and, unfortunately, jealousy is the worst quality a boyfriend can have... Aside from poverty.

Sabrina- Come on, there’s no way Aaron is even remotely jealous of Harvey.

Int. The Boston Academy Club. Aaron is hard at work arranging the PA and lighting for the band he’s promoting. He walks to the stage followed by Sabrina.

Aaron- Of course I’m jealous of Harvey. (Reaching the stage) Hey, give me a blue on four, Perry!

Sabrina- But Harvey’s my oldest friend. I’ve known him for years.

Aaron- Yeah, and he was your boyfriend for four of them. I mean, what would you say if I kept dragging you off to one of my ex’s hockey games?

Sabrina- I’d say ‘Is there something you wanna tell me?’ Look, Harvey is so far past being an ex, he’s a ‘Y’!

Aaron- Look, say what you want. I just don’t like having him around. Hey, Perry, give me a red on the three panel!

The lighting on the stage shift from blue to red.

Sabrina- All right. Relationships are about compromise but this isn’t one of those times. Harvey is my friend and I don’t think I want to be with someone who is gonna dictate who I see and who I don’t. You can’t just order me around.

Aaron- Look, stand over there, will you?

Sabrina- All right, sure.

She goes stands in front of the mic stand he indicates but stops and returns to stand in front of him.

Sabrina- (Cont.) No. Listen, there is nothing going on between me and Harvey and if can’t believe that and get over it then I don’t know what else I can say.

She walks passed him into the back stage area. He turns with his arms folded and waits. A few seconds later, Sabrina is back.

Sabrina- (Cont.) I don’t know how to get out of here?

A white light suddenly illuminates the stage door.

Sabrina- (Calling out) Thanks Perry!

She leaves.

Int. Sabrina’s big top. The ringmaster still isn’t bored of juggling his clubs and the acrobats continue their show. Sabrina is back in her garish makeup and costume.

Sabrina- It turns out my problem isn’t scheduling. My life is out of balance because I have a jealous boyfriend.

Ringmaster- Ah, jealousy. It brings nothing but sorrow... and bad country and western songs.

Sabrina- Well anyway, I’ve taken care of it. So I’m ready to...

Sabrina looks down from the tiny platform high above the ground. This time, instead of the balls to juggle, she has a long balance bar in her hands.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Would a little warning be too much to ask?

She takes a deep breath and three careful steps out onto the rope.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Hay ma, look at me, I’m tightrope walkin'

Suddenly she’s struggling to keep her balance and leaning precariously to her right. She glances over to see:-

Aaron- Hey, Sabrina.

Sabrina- Aaron?!

He’s sat on the end of her balance bar smiling back at her with his arms folded.

Sabrina- I thought we’d already settled this?

Harvey- (OS) Hi, Sabrina.

She looks to her left as the bar swings back the other way, not to mention becoming incredibly heavy.

Sabrina- Harvey?!

The bar tilts one way then the other.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Wait...!

But it’s too late and with a yell of dismay, Sabrina tumbles from the rope into the safety net. She climbs down from the net.

Sabrina- (Cont.) What the heck was that all about?

Ringmaster- I do not think the jealous boyfriend is your problem.

Sabrina- Well then, what is?

Harvey swings down from the safety net.

Harvey- Me. I’m still in love with you, Sabrina.

The ringmaster throws down his clubs and the acrobats stop the balancing feats and walk away. Sabrina stands looking up at Harvey in shocked surprise.

Int. Spellman upstairs landing. Sabrina comes from her bedroo... circus and leans against the door looking frustrated.

Sabrina- (To herself) Why couldn’t I have just gotten a circus with some cotton candy and the occasional rampaging elephant?

Roxie comes from her room with two large bottle of hair product.

Roxie- Sabrina, what’s wrong?

Sabrina- Oh, Harvey is still in love with me.

Roxie- (Delighted) That’s fantastic!

Sabrina- What? No, it’s not!

Roxie- Yes it is! This kind of gossip will keep Morgan distracted for hours. Come on, walk and talk.

She leads the way downstairs.

Sabrina- Roxie, this is a serious problem!

Int. Spellman kitchen. Roxie and Sabrina stand looking at a serious problem. Morgan’s hair is now three different shades of red and still looks like something from a sixties cop show.

Sabrina- (Aside to Roxie) Okay, I guess having your own personal troll doll also qualifies as a problem but...

Morgan- (Interrupting) I know you said that I’d have to wait until you’re done, but I have gotta look!

She reaches for a hand mirror.

Roxie- Harvey’sstillinlovewithSabrina!

Morgan- What? Get out! That’s unbelievable... What was I just going to do?

The phone rings.

Sabrina- I can’t believe I accused Aaron of being consumed by the green eyed monster when, really, he was just being perceptive.

She picks up the phone.

Sabrina- (On phone) Hello?... Aaron! Wow, you really are perceptive.

Aaron- (On phone) Listen Sabrina, I’m really sorry about this whole Harvey thing. You were completely right about everything.

Sabrina- (To Herself) Just my luck. I’ve finally found a guy who actually listens to me.

Aaron- (On phone) And as proof of my sincerity, I’ve just called Harvey and asked him to join us at the club tonight. He loved the idea.

Sabrina- (On phone) Colour me shocked.

Aaron- (On phone) Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’d heard what you were saying and I’m sorry.

Sabrina- (On phone) Oh, you’re the greatest boyfriend every.

She hangs up.

Sabrina- (Cont.) And I’m the worst girlfriend ever!

Morgan- Sabrina, why are you getting so worked up about this? This is Harvey’s problem. It’s not your fault that he’s not over you. Odd, but not your fault.

Roxie- Good point, Morgan. I mean, is anything every really...

Another huge clump of Morgan’s hair comes away in her fingers.

Roxie- (Cont.) ...anyone’s fault?

Morgan- You guys broke up years ago. You can’t control someone’s feelings.

Sabrina- You know, you’re absolutely right. I have never been anything but completely open and honest with Harvey. I’ve definitely never lead him on. This isn’t my problem; this is Harvey’s problem! The circus should be in his room! (On their looks) As the old saying goes.

She leaves heading upstairs.

Morgan- (To Roxie) Oh, wait! Now I remember what I was gonna do.

She reaches for the mirror again.

Roxie- You were going to come with me to find out Harvey’s side of this story!

Roxie pulls Morgan to her feet and pushes her towards this door.

Roxie- (Cont.)(Under her breath) While I work on mine.

She tosses a handful of Morgan’s hair over her shoulder as she follows her towards the front door.

Int. Sabrina’s big top. Once more in her circus outfit, Sabrina confronts the ringmaster.

Sabrina- ...So you see, there’s nothing I can do. I can’t stop Harvey having feelings for me. You know, unless, of course, I get Roxie to do my hair. Would you stop doing that?

The ringmaster stops juggling his balls but they keep on moving without the help of his hands.

Ringmaster- You say he cannot change his feeling, but what if he never had these feelings at all?

Sabrina- Oh, that’s just crazy circus talk... No it’s not! <Gasp!> That’s exactly what I need to do... How, exactly, would I do that?

Ringmaster- The feelings that upset you today are connected to those from yesterday.

He pulls a green handkerchief from Sabrina’s ear which is knotted to a yellow handkerchief.

Ringmaster- (Cont.) And the day before that and the day before that...

The yellow one is knotted to a blue one...

Int. Eve’s Diner. Morgan, with her hair hidden under a scarf, and Roxie have hunted down Harvey. They sit opposite him in a booth.

Harvey- Look, I’m not still in love with Sabrina! She’s a good friend, I care about her a lot but that’s as far as it goes.

He sees the waitress come over with the bill.

Harvey- (To the waitress) So what’s the damage?

Roxie- (Who hasn’t seen the waitress) Damage? There’s no damage. Morgan just felt like wearing a scarf.

Harvey- (Taking the bill) No. What do we owe?

Harvey takes out his wallet to pay for the meal and Morgan pounces, pulling an old photo of Harvey and Sabrina that’s festooned with love hearts from his wallet.

Morgan- <Gasp!> And it seems out Kinkle truly doth protest too much.

Roxie- Just good friends, huh? Do you carry around pictures of all your friends?

Harvey- No! It’s just...

The girls lean forward with baited breath.

Harvey- (Cont.) ...The last photo of me with all my real teeth. You catch the puck with your face a couple of dozen times, you start remembering to wear your mouth guard.

Morgan- Harvey!

Harvey- Okay. It was our first Valentines Day. We were young and at the mall, I had a pocketful of quarters. Gimme that!

He snatches back the photo from the giggling girls and looks at it with a frown.

Int. Sabrina’s big top.

Ringmaster- ... And the day before that...(Purple) ...And the day before that. (Orange)

The pile of multicoloured handkerchiefs is almost waist high.

Sabrina- It’s a good thing I didn’t meet Harvey in grade school.

He pulls a final red handkerchief from her ear.

Ringmaster- All leading back to the day when that first spark of love was ignited.

He folds the handkerchief out and an image appears of Harvey standing in Mr. Pool’s biology classroom at Westbridge High School on the first day of term. Through the window in the classroom door a very nervous looking, newly sixteen-year-old Sabrina walks into view with her book bag over her shoulder. They see each other and smile just as Mr. Pool swings the door open, knocking Harvey backwards.

Sabrina- Ah, that was my first day at school and the first time I ever saw Harvey. Can I get that on DVD?

Ringmaster- The director is still recording his commentary. The question is, what shall we do with this moment?

Sabrina- Well, I’d like to keep it... but if that’s what is throwing my life out of balance I can only imagine what it’s doing to Harvey.

Ringmaster- Are you positive you want Harvey’s feelings for you to disappear?

Sabrina- I don’t have any other choice.

The ringmaster screws up the red handkerchief, gives it a blow and it vanishes.

Ringmaster- Vuela! Impressive, no?

Sabrina- Er, not really. I’m a witch, remember?

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina comes down stairs and makes for the front door but Co-Co The Cat spots her.

Salem- Sabrina, wait! You’ve got see this. Squeeze my nose.

Sabrina- Does this end any differently than ‘Pull my tail’?

Salem- (Disappointed) Oh, you’ve heard it. But what you haven’t heard is that yours truly has scored a date with one of the contortionists.

Sabrina- Oh, just like you to turn my personal tragedy into your romantic opportunity.

Salem- Yep! Everybody wins.

The front doorbell rings.

Sabrina- Well I won’t know if I’ve won until I find out if Harvey’s still love struck.

She answers the door to Aaron.

Aaron- Hey, Sabrina. I thought I’d swing by on the way to the club.

Sabrina- Great! Harvey’s gonna be there, right?

She walks passed him as he grits his teeth through a fake smile.

Int. The Boston Academy Club. The crowd of revellers dance as others move around, guys chat up girls and verse-a-visa. Sabrina enters the melee with Aaron.

Sabrina- He’s gotta be here somewhere. (To Aaron) You did invite him, right?

Aaron- Oh yeah, and baring a disfiguring accident, he should be here.

And here he is.

Harvey- Hey, Aaron, thanks for putting me on the list.

He turns away towards the bar without giving Sabrina so much as a glance.

Sabrina- (To Aaron) Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back.

She follows after Harvey.

Aaron- (Calling after) Hey, why would I go anywhere when... Harvey’s here.

Sabrina catches up with Harvey at the bar.

Sabrina- Hey, Harvey.

Harvey looks round at her and has to think for a moment.

Harvey- Oh, Hey, Spellman.

He turns back to his drink.

Sabrina- So, how ya been?

Harvey- Er, fine, I guess.

Sabrina- Okay. Well I just wanted to do a little check. Y’know, see how ya doin’? See how ya feeling about us?

Harvey- I didn’t realise there was anything between us to feel anything about. Nice chattin’

He turns back to his drink again clearing wanting the strange Spellman chick to go away and leave him alone.

Sabrina- Alright! Mission accomplished. No one’s ever gonna accuse you of being love struck... (On his totally ignoring her) ...Or polite. All right, I guess I’ll see you at your game tomorrow.

She turns to leave but that last comment has his attention.

Harvey- Wait! You’re coming to my game?

Sabrina- Of course. I always do... Wait a minute, we’re still friends, right?

Harvey- Still? I didn’t think we ever were. I fact, I don’t think we ever said two words to each other in high school.

Sabrina- Harvey, quit playing around.

Harvey- I don’t think I’m the one who’s playing.

He turns round and raises hi eyebrows to the barman in a ‘Crazy chick’ sort of way while opening his wallet to pay for his drink. The photo of Sabrina and himself falls out and Sabrina catches sight of it over his shoulder.

Harvey- (To the barman) What she do, slip this in my wallet? (Mouthing) Sicko.

He takes his drink and walks off leaving the photo on the bar. Sabrina snatches it up before the barman can throw it away.

Int. Sabrina’s big top. The acrobats are doing what acrobats do and Sabrina waves the photo in front of the ringmaster’s nose.

Sabrina- ...And it was like this photo meant nothing to him.

Ringmaster- Je suis confused. I thought you wanted Harvey’s feeling for you to be snuffed out.

He does a little slight of hand trick do demonstrate, creating a small flame in his hand then putting it out with a breath.

Sabrina- Well I wanted his romantic feelings snuffed. I didn’t wanna snuff out our entire friendship! I can’t imagine my life without Harvey.

Ringmaster- And you are telling me this pourquoi?

Sabrina- Er, because I need to know how to do your little hanky trick to put Harvey’s feelings back. That’s pourquoi.

Ringmaster- I’m a witch, remember? But, you know, if you undo the spell, you’re live will be unbalanced again?

Sabrina- You know, I thought the circus was supposed to put a smile on your face?

Ringmaster- You are confusing us with the carnival! I spit on the carnival! <Spit!>

Sabrina- (Looking down) And my shoes!

In remorse for his desecration of Sabrina’s tightrope walking shoes, the ringmaster whips a red handkerchief from his sleeve and hands it to Sabrina.

Ext. Spellman front porch. A bewitched Harvey sits placidly on the garden bench. Sabrina places one corner of the red handkerchief in his ear. With a point, the hanky slides all the way into his head.

Sabrina- Ta-da!

Harvey- Nice. It’s a little Vagas for you, isn’t it?

Sabrina- Vagas, but hopefully effective.

Harvey- Are you coming to my game tomorrow?

Sabrina- Jackpot! Yeah, er well, y’know, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

He smiles, pleased.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Oh. Harvey, I found this.

She pulls out the photo.

Harvey- Hey, I keep the same one in my wallet.

Sabrina- I know, it’s yours.

Harvey- ...Because it’s my best haircut. I show it to barbers all the time.

Sabrina- Harvey, it’s okay. That was one of the best days of my life.

Harvey- Really?

Sabrina- Yeah really. That was a long time ago.

Harvey- I know. Look I-I know we broke up a while ago but, to be honest, my feelings for you never really changed.

Sabrina- I know, but you have to let those feelings evolve otherwise we’ll never be able to move forward... And I might never be able to move across my bedroom again.

Harvey- (Staring at the picture) Easier said than done.

Sabrina- But why now? And why is this happening with Aaron? I’ve dated other guys.

Harvey- Yeah, I know, but you’ve never seemed this serious before.

Sabrina- Yeah, you’re right. It is different with Aaron.

Harvey- Well, I wish I could be happy for you but I don’t know if I’m that good of a sport.

Sabrina- Harvey, what are you saying?

Harvey- I’m saying... I don’t think I can do this.

He gets up and quickly walks away.

Sabrina- (Calling after) Well Harvey, wait!

But he’s gone. She looks down and picks up the photo that he’s left.

Sabrina- (To herself) I guess he wont mind if I keep this.

Int. Sabrina’s big top. A very sad looking tightrope walker enters and finds the ringmaster juggling again.

Sabrina- Oh, You know, just once, I’d love to come in here and find you with your head in a lions mouth. Anyway, I’ve finally got my life in balance. So put down those balls and watch me zip across the rope to the far platform so I can send you packing.

Ringmaster- I am sensing more bitterness than usual in your sweet, bossy nature.

Sabrina- Oh good, I was worried it would be too subtle. You know, I didn’t realise that putting my life in balance would mean losing Harvey for ever?

Ringmaster- I am sorry to hear that, mademoiselle.

Sabrina- Thanks. You know, it’s really kinda hard to imagine...

She looks down from the tiny, high platform.

Sabrina- ...Could I please just finish a sentence?! Hey, where’s the net?

Ringmaster- If your life truly is in balance, you won’t need the net.

Sabrina- Easy to say from the floor! All right, here goes.

She tentatively steps onto the rope. There’s no balance bar to help this time, just her arms.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Don’t look down... remember to breath... (Wobble) No, don’t breath!... Four steps...

With a scream she loses her balance and falls. The trapeze artists strong hands grasping her wrists, saving her, interrupting a brief vision of broken bones, concussion and George Clooney tending to her in the ER. He swings her across to the far platform where she risks a glance upwards.

Sabrina- Harvey?! What are you doing here?

He, deftly, swings down to join her in his blue sparkly bodysuit.

Harvey- You didn’t think I’d let you fall, did you?

Sabrina- I don’t know. I guess I...

Sabrina falls without a safety net. Luckily, she lands on her bed and all signs of the circus, including Harvey, are gone.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Oh well, I’ll say one thing. Nobody retreats faster than the French.

She flops back onto her pillow.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina and Aaron share a settee. She’s snuggled up to him with his arms about her as they watch the TV.

Sabrina- I’m just saying, I think a lot of people would watch an action adventure movie where a circus gets blown up... repeatedly.

Aaron- I’m definitely picking the videos from now on. So, you talked to Harvey Lately?

Sabrina- No, not really.

Aaron- Oh, I’m sorry to hear that... kind of.

The front door bursts open and Morgan enters with her scarf still on her head. Roxie comes chasing after.

Morgan- No, I have had it up to here with your excuses! 'Don’t look at it, the sun might melt it, water might break it' and now we "accidentally" find ourselves at a hair club for men meeting? Forget it, I am looking!

Roxie- In my defence, I had no idea what I was doing!

Morgan removes the scarf and stands in front of the mirror. She has a huge ball of multicoloured frizz sticking out from her head. Her haw drops and her eyes widen.

Sabrina- (To Aaron) See? I’ve already found the two clowns to star in my circus movie.

A smile crosses Morgan’s face as she turns to Roxie.

Morgan- I love it.

Roxie- (Cowering) You do?

Morgan- Yes. And-and it’s only fair that I return the favour and do yours.

Roxie- Oh that’s really not necessary.

Morgan- (The smile fading) Oh yes it is.

Roxie runs for it with Morgan on her heals. The front doorbell rings and Sabrina gets up to answer it.

Sabrina- The only way that could end is in tears.

She opens the door to.

Sabrina- Harvey?

Harvey- Hey. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for walking off yesterday.

Sabrina- That’s all right. I understand.

Harvey- I don’t know if my feelings will ever evolve like you said but, regardless, I want you to know that I will always be there for you if you need me.

Sabrina- Thanks, that means a lot to me. Well, do you wanna come in? Aaron and I are about to watch a movie.

Roxie- (OS)(From upstairs) Get away from me!

Sabrina- Or a murder.

Aaron- (Waving) Hey, Harvey.

Harvey- Hey. (To Sabrina) Maybe another time. I’ll catch you later.

He turns and leaves. Sabrina watches him go with a sad smile.

Sabrina- (Under her breath) And I know you always will... but, maybe, next time I won’t be wearing sequins.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina enters to top up the bowl of popcorn.

Salem- (Plaintively) A little help.

Sabrina- Whoa!

He’s on the table, still in his clown outfit, twisted up in impossible knots.

Sabrina- (Cont.) A bad date with the contortionist, huh?

Salem- Are you kidding? Best date of my life!

Sabrina- Well you always were a little twisted.

Salem- Na-ha-ha-ha! <Sob!> Oh boy.

Run credits.



Pic of the Week