Sabrina In Wonderland

Written By - Dan Berendsen
Transcribed By - Paul Booth

Cast

Sabrina - Melissa Joan Hart
Salem/The Cheshire Cat - Nick Bakay
Morgan/The Queen of Hearts - Elisa Donovan
Roxie - Soleil Moon Frye
Cole/The Field Mouse - Andrew Walker
Leonard/The Mad Hatter - John Ducey
James/The Caterpillar - Bumper Robinson
Aaron Jacobs - Dylan Neal
Aaron’s Friend - David Monahan
Potsie - Anson Williams
The White Rabbit - Donny Most

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this transcript, nor do I own any rights to the television show Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. It was created by Nell Scovell and belongs to her, Viacom Productions Inc, Hartbreak Films, and the Warner Brothers Television network. The characters are based on the original characters appearing in Archie Comics.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina comes running down the stairs.

Sabrina- I’m late! I’m late! But not so late that I don’t have time to freak out and ask, what the heck is going on?

Salem, who’s sat on the kitchen table in a silk housecoat, cravat and spectacles, looks at his guest. A white rabbit sporting an orange waistcoat who’s nibbling on a carrot.

Salem- Just trying to start my day in a civilized manner. (To the rabbit) Are you sure you wouldn’t like a little tea, Mr. Wiggles?

Sabrina- Salem, you can dress it up and call it any emasculating name you want, but it has to go.

Salem- But I want a pet!

Sabrina- I hate to break it to you, buddy, but you are the pet.

Salem- Ghe?!

Sabrina- And, you know, I don’t think my roommates are going to find this little cat and bunny show within the scope of their reality.

Morgan comes down stairs with her hair sleep mussed and a dressing gown draped over her shoulders, clearly still half asleep. She takes the mug of coffee, that Sabrina has just poured for herself.

Morgan- Morning Sabrina. Hey Roxie. Hi Harvey. Thanks for the coffee.

She disappears back upstairs.

Sabrina- Fortunately, she has her own reality.

Run opening credits.

Int. Scorch Magazine. Sabrina comes down the steps followed by Leonard.

Leonard- Fine or ultra-fine? I think I’m going to go with the ultra-fine.

Sabrina- Fine, Leonard.

Leonard- You’re right! The ultra-fine is too thin.

Sabrina- No. I mean, I don’t care what kind of pens you pick out for the office.

Leonard- This is a huge decision. One that we are going to be writing with for the next few months of our lives.

Sabrina- I know it’s scary, but just pick a pen and make a commitment.

Leonard- But...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) No more pen talk!

Leonard- I just want...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) No! Look, I have a lot to do, okay? I don’t have time for anymore... distractions.

She distracted by the sight of the handsome guy coming out of Annie’s office with Cole. Well built, good looking, dark haired, well dressed. Enough to distract any girl.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Unless they’re wearing a leather jacket and have a perfectly chiseled jaw.

Cole and the stranger come down the steps.

Cole- Yeah. Yeah, I think an article on the bands first album would be great... Especially if I’m the one writing it.

Aaron- All right. Look, you just tell me what you need, okay? Launching this band is my number one priority. I am completely... focused.

His focus is put out of whack by the extremely cute and petite blonde in the smart black suit that shows off a fine little figure standing beside the tall, dorky guy. Sabrina quickly looks away and starts toying with her hair.

Sabrina- (To Leonard) Is he still looking?

Leonard- Yeah... Oh, now he’s smiling... Well now Cole looks like he’s saying something a little snotty... Oh, now he’s laughing... but not too much.

He raises his hand to the stranger.

Leonard- Hey.

Sabrina pulls his hand down annoyed, Leonard turns to her.

Leonard- (Cont.) He seems awfully friendly.

Sabrina- Well do you know who he is?

Leonard- Er no. Oh, but you’re about to find out. He’s coming over here. Do you want me to go?

Sabrina- No, stay. Oh, go. Stay!... Okay, go.

Leonard- It’s a good thing you’re not a crossing guard.

Sabrina- No, I mean it. Go.

He leaves taking his pens with him except for the one Sabrina casually tries to sharpen in her electric pencil sharpener as the tall, handsome stranger makes his way over.

Aaron- You know, you’re smokin'.

Sabrina- Wow! Talk about your opening lines.

Aaron- No. I kinda meant the um pen that you’re sharpening.

Sabrina- Oh! Er, now it’s perfect. Ha-ha. Now it’s ultra-ultra-fine.

And still smoking as she blows on the hot end.

Aaron- (Laughing) Hi, I’m Aaron Jacobs.

Sabrina- Aaron Jacobs, the band promoter I’ve heard so much about and oh so incorrectly pictured with a beer belly and a bad rug?

He laughs again.

Sabrina- (Cont.) I’m Sabrina.

Aaron- Spellman? The er girl whose column I never miss. Nice to finally meet you.

They shake hands.

Sabrina- I’m sorry if my hands are kinda sweaty. Um, I was just um flexing one of those exercise thingies.

Aaron- It’s okay. My er heart is beating so fast, I didn’t really notice. (Pointing at the coffee pot) Yeah, probably too much caffeine, you know.

There’s an awkward silence until, simultaneously, they try to break it.

Aaron- I just wanted to um, tell you that I’m a big fan of your writing. You know, it’s um honest.

Sabrina- Oh, well I try. You know, my motto is ‘Gimme some truth’

Aaron- John Lennon song, right? Sounds like we may have a lot in common... I mean, at least musically speaking.

Sabrina- Oh, I’m betting way more than musically. (Realizing what she’s said) Phew! Is it hot in here?

Aaron- Well look, you’ve er probably got a lot to do now that your um pen is ready to go. So, er y’know, I was wondering if we...

Sabrina- (Interrupting)(Checking her watch) Whoa, is that the time? Er, you know, I er, supposed to um... People, y’know? Ha-ha-ha. And it was very nice er... Gotta go!

She puts down her pen, turns and runs away. Leonard walks up behind Aaron and puts a commiserating hand on his shoulder.

Leonard- FYI. She’s not interested in er charm and good looks. Trust me or, well, she’d already be taken.

Int. Eve’s Diner. Sabrina’s met up with Morgan and Roxie for lunch. They sit together in a booth while Sabrina gives them a blow by blow of her morning.

Roxie- You ran out? Without him?

Morgan- That is so not how this story is supposed to end.

Sabrina- I’m telling you, I don’t know what happened. I just panicked.

Morgan- Well if you want my professional dating opinion... You’re an idiot!

Roxie- (On Sabrina’s look) I’m going with Big Red on this one.

Sabrina- Well my head, my mouth, my heart, they were all out of control. I think my feet just assessed the situation and screamed ‘Fire!’

Morgan- Sabrina, that sweaty palmed, heart racing, stomach-in-your-throat feeling is what dating is all about. That and a free dinner.

Roxie- She’s right, sort of. You know, I’m not a big believer of love at first sight, but that sounds exactly like what this is. You owe it to yourself to find out.

Sabrina- I don’t know. You guys weren’t there. There’s just something about him that just... wasn’t right.

Morgan- Not right, is you talking yourself out of liking this guy because he has some mythical host of unknown problems.

Roxie- (To Morgan) You know, she does that all the time.

Sabrina- Okay, the ganging up thing, al little annoying. All right, maybe I overreacted. I mean, if the fates ever throw us together again and he asks me out, I’ll go.

The dinner door opens and in walks Aaron and a friend.

Sabrina- (Cont.) The fates have a very twisted sense of humour. That’s him!

Morgan and Roxie turn to look.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Don’t look!

They turn back and instead use an aluminium napkin holder as a mirror to get a look at him.

Roxie- Here he comes.

Morgan- Oh my God, I’m getting a zit!

Sabrina watches Aaron approach with a smile on his face. Things begin to move in slow motion.

Sabrina- (Thinking) Maybe he is the one? And this is how I always pictured it would be. It’s like time is standing still.

She looks around.

Sabrina- (Aloud) Wait a minute! Time really is standing still?

She notices that her finger is raised.

Sabrina- (Cont.) <Gasp!> And I did it! How did I do that? Maybe it’s sensing danger. Maybe it was to protect myself. Maybe I should stop talking to myself.

She waves her finger and everything starts up again. Aaron arrives at their table.

Aaron- Hi. I’m not quite sure what happened this afternoon but um, I promised myself, if the fates ever through us together again, then I’d...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) Y’know, I gotta go!

She leaps up and runs away. Aaron, along with Morgan and Roxie watch her go.

Roxie- You’ve gotta admit, she’s quick.

Morgan- Aaron, don’t take it too personally. Y’know, fast, unexplained exits are kind of her specialty.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina is knelt on the floor and she’s at it again. The magic books pages turn and turn watched by a white rabbit in a waistcoat and a black cat.

Sabrina- Ah, I was right! (Reading) ‘When a witch perceives extraordinary danger, time may freeze so she can assess the situation and escape.’

Salem- To Tahiti with the cat!... Worth a shot. You know, it doesn’t actually say he’s a threat.

Sabrina- Well I just have to figure out why I’m so scared of Aaron.

Salem- I got it. Call him up, meet for coffee, catch a flick...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) Look, I stopped time. Clearly, something is amiss. Oh, here. (Reading) Here’s a spell to figure out what makes somebody tick. ‘To know a persons intentions gather something from their head, mouth and heart.’ Okay, head, mouth and heart. Where’s my er...

She looks down to find her pencil being gnawed on by the rabbit.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Oh never mind. You can keep it.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina comes down the stairs just as Roxie and Morgan come in through the front door.

Sabrina- Hi and bye...

As she tries to slip by them and out the door they each hook an arm with there own and drag her backwards into the living room.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Now, if this is about over watering the plants, I swear I did it out of love.

The deposit her into an arm chair.

Roxie- Sabrina, this is a dating intervention. Aaron seems like a great guy.

Morgan- Yeah, what is wrong with you? Handsome, smart and funny is like winning the dating lottery... without having to stand in line with poor people.

Roxie- You haven’t really dated anyone since Josh. We’re beginning to think you’ve forgotten how.

Sabrina- Whoa! Have either of you actually talked to him? I mean, do you know anything about him?

Morgan- Let’s just say, he wasn’t super chatty after your most recent dine and dash.

Roxie- Besides, those are all things you learn by actually going on a date with someone.

Sabrina- Look, I know you guys mean well, but you’re just going to have to trust me on this one.

She leaves.

Roxie- (To Morgan) Ever feel like you’re only getting half the story?

Morgan- <Sigh> Every other day of my life.

Int. The Barber’s Shop. Aaron’s sat in the chair having a trim with his back to the window. So he doesn’t see Sabrina peer in at him.

Sabrina- Something from his head?

Moments later.

Aaron- Well it’s been almost a year since we broke up but she still calls.

Sabrina, The Barber- Ah, not over your ex yet, hey, Sonny Boy? Typical.

Aaron- I beg your pardon?

He turns his head but Sabrina quickly stops him before he sees her. It’s unlikely that the false moustache and barbers smock disguise would have worked.

Sabrina, The Barber- Er, just making conversation! Hold still <Snip Snip!> Whoops!

Aaron- Whoops?!

Sabrina, The Barber- (Holding a large lock of his hair) Well, y’know, in my defense, I did tell ya to hold still.

She dashes off.

Int. Scorch Magazine. Sabrina’s sat at her desk, thinking.

Sabrina- Something from his mouth? Fillings? Tongue? Spit? Ouch, ouch and gross.

James walks by.

Sabrina- Hey, James. If you er... hypothetically, had to get something from somebody’s mouth for a... way out o’ control scavenger hunt, what would it be?

James- Well I know what you’d get from my mouth. Probably a lot o’ words you don’t wanna hear. Like, what kind of stupid question is that? Was that helpful?

Sabrina- Not at all.

James- I tried.

He walks to his own desk just as Aaron enters and joins him.

James- Finally. It’s about time, man. Have those contact sheets?

Aaron- (Speaking into pocket tape recorder) Don’t forget to drop off contact sheets at Scorch.

He puts the recorder down on James’ desk and looks longingly at Sabrina empty desk.

James- Ah, you’ve got it bad, man. That’s gotta...

He looks round to see the desk empty also but her chair is still spinning.

James- (Cont.) She-she was right here two seconds ago.

Aaron- Yeah, that’s okay. I seem to have that effect on her.

Meanwhile, unseen by either of them, Sabrina’s hand comes up from below James’ desk and takes the recorder. She removes the tape and quickly replaces the recorder without being seen. Aaron picks up the records, slaps James on the shoulder and heads for Annie’s office. Sabrina’s head pokes out from below James’ desk. She looks up at him.

Sabrina- Er, top of the list for the scavenger hunt: chewed gum.

She starts picking at some from the underside of the desk.

Int. Eve’s Diner. Aaron sits in a booth with his friend and a plate of chili fries. He pours some hot sauce on them and puts down the bottle. The picture of a brunet on the bottle’s label has Sabrina’s face.

Sabrina, The Hot Sauce Bottle- Okay. Now, something from his heart or, as they say in Espanola, El Hearto.

Aaron’s Friend- I don’t know about this place, Aaron. There’s a serious cheese factor going on.

Aaron- Ha-ha! Oh really? I think it’s great. You know, it’s so retro. It kinda reminds me of ‘Happy Days’ I love that show.

Sabrina, The Hot Sauce Bottle- That’ll do! Ole!... ter.

She vanishes from the bottle.

Aaron’s friend- So, are you still chasing that writer chick?

Aaron- Hey, any girl who looks like that and can quote Lennon? She’s the girl for me.

Roxie enters and strides right over to Aaron’s table.

Roxie- Hi. Normally I don’t interfere with my friends lives, but I think I’m about to make a big exception.

Int. Spellman kitchen. The cat and his well dressed bunny buddy sit on the table watching the witch at work with a number nine cauldron.

Sabrina- I just have to mix this all together and I’ll finally know what makes Aaron tick. Something from his head: a lock of hair.

In it goes.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Something from his mouth: words he spoke.

In goes the tape cassette.

Sabrina- (Cont.) And something from his heart.

She picks up the cauldron and hands it to the dark haired guy sat on the counter.

Sabrina- (Cont.) He really loved your show, Potsie.

Potsie- Thanks, Mrs. C.

With a poof and a bundle of sparkles, Potsie and the cauldron are gone and in their place is a gold pocket watch. Sabrina picks it up.

Sabrina- Cool! What makes him tick? A watch, of course. Hey look, it even has his name on the back.

Salem- You know that’s gonna make it impossible to return?

Sabrina- Now I just have to wind this sucker up and I’ll finally know what sinister thoughts are lurking beneath that cool, handsome exterior.

Morgan enters from the dining room.

Morgan- Sabrina, we need to talk. Oh, cute. Salem’s got a pet.

Sabrina- Yeah, and they need time to bond, so why don’t we talk in the other room?

She puts the watch down on the table and pushes Morgan towards the living room.

Int. Spellman Living room. Morgan and Sabrina enter.

Sabrina- Morgan look, I’m really busy, so if there’s any way this could wait?

Morgan- There is not. It’s too important.

Sabrina- Well then make it quick.

Morgan- First of all: You’re missing an earring and it looks like something gnawed a hole in your sweater.

She shows Sabrina the small hole in the sleeve of her sweater.

Sabrina- <Sigh!> Oh, I loved this sweater. (Yelling towards the kitchen) Someone is this close to becoming stew!

Morgan- Sabrina, I think that I’m a little more experienced in matters of the heart than you are and I really believe that you are missing a huge opportunity with Aaron. And it’s only because I...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) Morgan, you’ve gotta trust me? I mean, there might be a lot more to this guy than we know. Give me two minutes and I bet we’ll be discussing his prison record.

Sabrina goes back into the kitchen.

Morgan- What? Prison? Oh my God, Roxie!

She runs for the front door.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina enters.

Sabrina- Okay. Now let’s find out what makes Aaron... The watch! It’s gone! Where is it?

The watch isn’t all that’s gone. Salem’s well dressed, pet bunny is missing also.

Salem- You know the old expression. Hare today, gone to Maui?

Sabrina spots the white rabbit hoppity hopping into the living room. The gold watch really finishes off the orange waistcoat ensemble.

Sabrina- (To Salem) See? This is why you cannot have a pet!

She runs after the rabbit.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina enters looking around for the bunny.

Sabrina- Where are you, you furry little pickpocket?

She goes to the front door and opens it just as Aaron is about to knock. They both jump back in surprise.

Sabrina- Whoa!

Aaron- Whoa! You startled me.

Sabrina- Er, what are you doing here? Er, you didn’t happen to see a rabbit go by, did ya?

Aaron- Er... no. Look, I know this might seem kinda weird and stalkery, but, y’know, I have it on good authority that...

Sabrina, who has been looking around all the time that Aaron had been speaking, spots the rabbit hopping into the dining room.

Aaron- (Cont.) ...You are going to run away again. Aren’t you?

Sabrina- Afraid so.

She runs away after the rabbit leaving the door open and Aaron looking bemused.

Ext. Spellman back yard. Out comes the rabbit and jumps down a rabbit hole in the flowerbed. Sabrina comes running after.

Sabrina- I swear, Rabbit! You’d better give me back that watch, or else!

She looks down into the rabbit hole that is far to small for her and somehow falls in.

Int. Wonderland. Sabrina lands in a heap. And carefully gets to her feet in what appears to be a cave.

Sabrina- Whoa!

She looks down at the blue pinafore dress and white apron that she’s wearing which is set off by a matching blue Alice band.

Sabrina- (Cont.) I’m guessing this would be the ‘Or else’ Nice hole. Very rustic.

The white Rabbit comes passed but rather than being a cute little bunny, it’s now taller than Sabrina and running around on it’s hind legs. You would also need huge pockets to get the pocket watch in... Oh, and it talks.

The White Rabbit- A journey first you must take; love and future are at stake.

The rabbit runs on and Sabrina chases after him.

Sabrina- Look, I have wasted more time and energy making that watch! Okay? I’ve got to figure out what that tall and hunky stranger lurking at my house ticks! Look, I don’t have time for your silly magical...

The White Rabbit- (Interrupting) Cookie?

He stops and presents her with a plate if brightly coloured and very tasty looking cookies with ‘Eat Me’ on them.

Sabrina- Maybe just one.

She takes a bite and immediately shrinks down to the teeny side of tiny. The white rabbit takes the opportunity to duck through a door in the cave wall.

Sabrina- (Cont.)(In a teeny tiny voice) Hey, come back here!

A swig of ‘Drink Me’ later and she’s returned to her normal size.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Whoa! Talk about carbo-loading.

She ducks through the door after the bunny.

Int. Spellman living room. Aaron is sitting on the stairs looking dejected when Roxie enters.

Roxie- So, how did it go?

Aaron- Better. I almost got out a whole sentence this time before she ran out of the room.

Roxie- Well, you know, she’ll be back. She’s pretty partial to her dinner.

Aaron- Yeah, that may be, but I think it’s time I took the hint.

He gets up to leave.

Roxie- No please. Come in for a few minutes.

She bullies him over to an armchair.

Roxie- (Cont.) You know you wanna see her again.

Aaron- Okay, fine, but I have my dignity. If she’s not back in a week, I'm out o’ here.

He sits down to wait.

Roxie- Do you know you have a big chunk of hair missing from the back of your head?

Ext. Wonderland. Sabrina forces her way through some shrubs and walks passed the giant mushrooms.

Caterpillar- Hey Baby. Ha-ha, nice dress.

She’s confronted by a large green caterpillar wearing a purple gown. He’s sitting on one of the giant mushrooms and, by the sound of him, he’s been tucking in to a magic one.

Sabrina- You should talk. James?

Caterpillar- I answer to a lot o’ names, but James ain’t one of them.

Sabrina- Of course you do. I mean, you know, why populate an annoying alternate universe with annoying people I already know.

Caterpillar- That was rhetorical, right?

Sabrina- Yeah. So, er, have you, by any chance, seen an exceptionally spry white rabbit with a pocketful of stolen property pass by?

Caterpillar- Oh yeah... Oh, except he was more brown than white... and, you know, he wasn’t so much a rabbit as he was a tree squirrel... Come to think of it, that may have been last Tuesday.

Sabrina- Bottom line, mate, have you seen him or not?

Caterpillar- No, I guess not.

Sabrina- Has anyone ever told you, you’re very misleading?

Caterpillar- Just this furry little white guy with a big pocket watch.

Sabrina- So you did see him?

Caterpillar- Who? (On Sabrina look) All right. He may have mentioned that I had a lot in common with this watch he was carrying.

Sabrina- You saw the watch? What did it say?

Caterpillar- All I saw was the word ‘Misleading’ on it’s face.

Sabrina- Aaron is misleading? Definitely not a quality you want in a boyfriend.

Caterpillar- Who? You single? How about you put me in a shoe box and tale me home?

Sabrina- No. But, er, I’ll look you up next time I go fishing.

She leaves.

Int. Spellman living room. Roxie fills Aaron in on a little of Sabrina’s background.

Roxie- You know, Sabrina’s lived here since high school. So what about you? Where are you from?

Aaron- Oh, all over. We moved around a lot.

Morgan comes flying through the front door in a panic.

Morgan- Roxie, I’m so glad I found you. I went all the way to the diner to warn you th...

She see that Roxie is talking to Aaron.

Morgan- (Cont.) ...not to have the pulled pork. It’s bad!

Roxie- Oh, okay (To Aaron) So, what else can I tell you about Sabrina?

Morgan stands behind Aaron and mimes hitting him with an axe and hanging herself.

Roxie- (To Morgan) What are you doing?

Aaron looks round and Morgan pretends to be stretching.

Morgan- I, er, tying to... subtly get you to come over here!

Roxie- (To Aaron) Excuse me for just one second.

She goes off to the side with Morgan, out of earshot.

Morgan- What is he doing here? Sabrina thinks that he may have a prison record, or worse.

Roxie- You’re insane! And I don’t mean your normal, nutty, endearing insane. He’s a great guy. He’s just asking a ton of questions about Sabrina and... and... being incredibly vague any time I ask him about himself.

Morgan- Who’s being endearing now?

Roxie- Okay, I’ll keep an eye on him, you try and find Sabrina and we’ll get to the bottom of this.

Morgan- And how creepy is it that he’s just hanging out here?

Roxie- Well I did invite him to stay, but he accepted awfully quick. Very suspicious.

They both look across at him with narrowed eyes.

Ext. Wonderland. Sabrina wends her way through gardens of bushes and shrubs, hedges and flowerbeds. She hears something beyond a hedge and looks through. A tables is set out with crockery and silverware. A hodgepodge of assorted chairs are around it and sitting at the head is man in a green top hat and turquoise coattails. Another man, dressed all in grey with twitchy whiskers moves around the table. Sabrina finds her way round the hedge.

The Mad Hatter- Oh good, good, another guest has arrived.

Sabrina- No-no-no, I’m not staying. I’m just... Whoa! Do the names Leonard and Cole mean anything to you guys?

The Mad Hatter and The Field Mouse look at each other.

The Field Mouse- No, but if they come to our party, they have to bring their own chairs. Oh, and cheese. Cheese would be nice.

Sabrina- Okay, I’m really reluctant to ask but have you seen the white rabbit?

The Mad Hatter- Oh yes, we know exactly where he is. We won’t tell you until you have a cup of tea with us first.

Sabrina- All right, but it has to be quick because I have company upstairs, You know, with a misleading heart but great hair... So it has to be a very small cup.

The Mad Hatter- Sure.

He hands her a very large cup. The a sigh she sits down.

The Field Mouse- Ho, no-no-no! Don’t sit there!

Sabrina- Why not?

The Field Mouse- Well, what if I want to sit there later?

Sabrina- Wow! Self-centered in two different dimensions.

She moves round to sit on the Mad Hatters other side.

The Mad Hatter- So, what will it be? We have black tea, brown tea, brick tea, chamomile, darjeeling, jasmine...

The Field Mouse- Excuse me, I’m sitting there!

Sabrina moves to the next chair.

The Mad Hatter- Oolong, earl grey, blackberry, peppermint...

The Field Mouse- Excuse me, I’m sitting there!

Sabrina- (Getting up again) All right! Gimme the best tea!

The Mad Hatter- Oh, but that would require too much of a commitment.

The Field Mouse- Commitment is bad. Very afraid of commitment are we.

The Mad Hatter- Yes, just like the rabbit’s watch, really.

Sabrina- The watch said fear of commitment?

The Field Mouse- As plain as day.

The Mad Hatter- It was very committed to its fear of commitment.

Sabrina- The wonderland has been irritating and perplexing, but at least, now I know what makes Aaron tick. I mean, who wants to get involved with someone who’s misleading and afraid of commitment?

The Field Mouse- I’m just trying to find someone who wont steal my chair!

The Mad Hatter- Ceylon, Dragonwell, ginger...

Sabrina has already left. She continues her search and comes upon a wall. Sat on top of it is a small black cat.

The Cheshire Cat- Looking for someone?

Sabrina- Sale... I’m not even gonna ask. Yeah, I’m looking for someone. Any idea where the white rabbit might be?

The cat’s smile stretches until it is impossibly wide.

The Cheshire Cat- Maybe yes, maybe no.

He disappears leaving just his smiling mouth sitting in mid air.

Sabrina- Impressive, but I don’t have a lot of time for all this double talk, riddle me this; riddle me that, fade in and out business.

The Cheshire Cat- It’s my best trick!

Sabrina- Wanna see my best trick? (Balling her fist) It’s called ‘Toothless Cheshire’

The Cheshire Cat- Point taken.

The rest of him reappears to join his mouth.

The Cheshire Cat- (Cont.) He’s playing croquet with the queen.

Sabrina- Dang, I always forget. Whenever you fall into a parallel fairytale universe, always skip ahead to the last chapter. Oh, did you see the watch?

The Cheshire Cat- Excellent craftsmanship... but you probably want to know about the big secret.

Sabrina- Finally, we’re getting somewhere. What’s the big secret?

The Cheshire Cat- How should I know? It just said ‘Big Secret’

Sabrina- Y’know, another thing I always forget. Cats: unhelpful no matter what story you’re telling.

Int. Spellman living room. What had started for Aaron as a pleasant chat with Sabrina’s housemate has turned into the third degree. Aaron sits on his hands looking uncomfortable as Roxie paces before him.

Roxie- So, that’s it? That’s all you have to say about the last three years of your life? You quit MTV, started your own label, got into A and R and now manage a band? (Getting in his face) Sounds just a little sketchy.

Aaron- Okay, I think my time here is just about up.

He starts to get up but Roxie pushes him back down.

Roxie- Oh not so fast. What makes you think you deserve a girl as special as Sabrina in the first place?

Aaron- D’ya know, I’m not uncomfortable with waiting in silence?

Ext. Wonderland. Sabrina’s still in a rush to get back and runs out from behind some bushes onto a neatly manicured lawn and trips over a metal hoop. She picks herself up rubbing her ankle and notices the four handsome men standing around dressed in white and sporting a spade, heart, clubs and diamond logo on there chests. Between them is a large pink easy chair that probably belongs to the red head with a heart fixation holding a flamingo by it’s legs.

The Queen of Hearts- You broke my wicket!

Sabrina- I think you broke my foot!

The Queen of Hearts- Off with her head.

Mr. Heart and Mr. Spade jump to and take Sabrina by the arms.

Sabrina- What? But, you’re kidding, right?

The Queen of Hearts- Kinda. I just like saying it. So, up for a game of croquet?

Sabrina- Oh no. I’m not really one for games. Although, I would be up for a hand or two of gin rummy.

She looks round at the suits of cards and gets the feeling that they wouldn’t mind a game either.

The Queen of Hearts- That’s too bad. Playing games is what really makes that watch of yours tick.

Sabrina- Aaron’s a game player, too? You know, this is getting worse by the character! Oh, speaking of which. I thought I might find the white rabbit here?

The Queen of Hearts- Oh, he’s already played through but, if you can get your ball to the other end of the field.

Sabrina- I can see him and be through with this farce?

The Queen of Hearts- That’s the game.

The queen tosses down a hedge hog that obligingly rolls into a ball.

Sabrina- A number six flamingo, Diamond Boy and stand back.

She handed a flamingo, Takes her stance and with a full back lift.

Sabrina- (Yelling) Four!

Tiger Woods better watch out. Sabrina follows after her ball and after a short search if the rough finds the white rabbit sitting beneath a watch tree. Giant watches, like hers hang from all it’s branches.

Sabrina- Okay, Rabbit, what do you have to say for yourself?

The White Rabbit- Close your eyes and touch the tree, you’ll find the watch you need to see.

Sabrina- (Frustrated) For cryin’ out... You show the watch to every caterpillar, cat and crazed milliner you come across but I’m the one who has to choose? Fine!

She closes her eyes and walks under the tree reaching up until her fingers find a watch. She pulls it down and opens her eyes.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Hey, it worked. (Reading from the face) ‘Misleading, Fear of commitment, games player, big secret’ <Sigh>

The White Rabbit- Happy, you do not seem.

Sabrina- Well, I guess part of me was kinda hoping Aaron would turn out to be a good guy but, all the awful things everybody down here told me about him are true.

The rabbit reaches out and takes the watch from her, turns it over and hands it back. Clearly inscribed in the back of the watch in large letters is:-

Sabrina- What? This is my watch?!

The White Rabbit- At Salem’s request, I made it for thee. With a ring from you ear, a pencil and a sweater, you hold so dear.

Sabrina- But I don’t understand? I mean, sure, I’ve been misleading and I guess you can say I’ve been playing games and heaven knows I have a big secret but, am I really so afraid of commitment that I’d stop time?

The White Rabbit- We must know our own heart before we can know that of another.

Sabrina- Well, I guess I really was trying to protect myself. I mean, Aaron is someone I could totally fall for and I just don’t wanna get hurt again.

There’s the chime of bells on the air.

The White Rabbit- The truth we know, for it rings so clear.

Sabrina- So what’s up this whole Yoda, Confucius, Grasshopper thing?

The White Rabbit- Nah, the tourists seem to like it.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina enters from the back yard having returned up through the rabbit hole. Roxie is waiting for her.

Roxie- Oh thank goodness you’re finally back. You were so right about Aaron. He’s here and there’s something very strange about him.

Sabrina- I don’t think he’s the problem.

She goes passed her friend and on into the living room.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina enters and sees Aaron still sitting patiently.

Sabrina- Hey.

Aaron- Hi.

Sabrina- Look, I know I owe you a huge explanation but... I don’t really have one. All I can say is that I’m sorry and that I’m scared, and I didn’t mean to play games with you. The point is, I’m not the kind of girl you should be running after.

She turns to leave, sure that he will agree with her but he gently takes her by the arm turning her back to face him.

Aaron- Hey. Then stop running.

He leans down and kisses her. She responds a little tentatively until they break.

Sabrina- Well, when you put it like that.

She smiles and puts all her heart into their second kiss.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Salem sits on the lounger and watches as Sabrina placed a gold pocket watch onto a towel on the floor.

Salem- Are you sure you don’t want to, at least, take a peek at Aaron’s watch?

Sabrina- Nope. I want to find out what makes him tick the old fashioned way.

She folds the towel over the watch and the whacks it with a hammer. There’s the satisfying tinkle of Swiss engineering becoming scrap.

Sabrina- (Cont.) You know, you could have told me that your little white rabbit friend was the white rabbit?

Salem- I thought you’d met him at my cousin Sheryl’s bah mitzvah.

Sabrina- Oh. He looks different sober. You know, that was a very nice thing you did for me.

Salem- I just didn’t want to see you making a big mistake... and it might be nice to see you in love again.

Sabrina- You’re turning into a real softy.

Salem- Promise not to tell anyone?

Sabrina- Promise.

Salem- We’re not gonna hug... are we?

Sabrina- No, you’re safe.

Salem- ...’Cause I wouldn’t mind.

Run credits.