Sabrina, The Activist

Int. Sabrina and Roxie’s room. Night. Roxie is fast asleep but Sabrina is struggling to get there. She sits up in bed and turns on her flash light. Wedging it between her chin and shoulder. She takes her nail-clippers from the bedside table and starts trimming her toe nails. At the first snip Roxie wakes up and lies staring into the darkness listening to the Clip! Clip! Clip! Finally she hears the clippers being put down and with a smile closes her eyes again... until the Shhue! Shhhue! Shhhue! of the nail-file starts up accompanied by Sabrina’s out of tune whistling. It’s all too much and she jumps out of bed.

Roxie- Spellman, this has got to stop! (Turns on the light) This is the third night you’ve woken me up because you can’t sleep.

Sabrina- Well third night’s the charm.

Roxie- Look, something’s obviously bothering you. What’s going on?

Sabrina- Nothing, I just can’t sleep.

Roxie- I know the feeling. (Grabbing her pillow) I’ll be on the couch... and don’t tell me nothing’s wrong, you’ve been in a funk for a week. Even your perkiness has lost it’s pop.

She heads for the door..

Sabrina- (Calling after) That is so not true! I am at the poppin’ peak of my perkiness! I’m totally funkless! (The bedroom door slams shut) Absolutely nothing is bothering me.

There’s a rumble of approaching thunder and the room darkens. Sabrina looks up to see a small black cloud directly above her head. Lightning flashes within it and the heavens open. A miniature torrential down-pour drenches her and her bed in seconds

Sabrina- (Cont.) Okay, now something’s bothering me.

Run opening credits.

Ext. Spellman back porch. Zelda's potting plants.

Zelda- (Calling out) How’s the car coming?

Not very well if the sounds coming from it are anything to judge by. It’s clearly one very sick puppy.

Zelda- (Cont.) Is it supposed to sound like that?

The master mechanic enters in his oily overalls and jumps up onto the potting table.

Salem- No, it’s not supposed to sound like that. I’m afraid the Zelda mobile is dead.

Zelda- It can’t be, she was fine yesterday when I drove her to the Piggly Wiggly.

Salem- I’m telling you there’s nothing more I can do. It’s time to pull the plug and buy a new car.

Zelda- (Shocked) What, I can’t do that! Hilda’s not back from her singles cruise for another week and I-I’ve never bought a car by myself before.

Salem- There’s a time you’d never been blonde before but you gave that a shot.

Zelda gives him her dirtiest look as a very soggy and bedraggled Sabrina enters with a small, dark, angry cloud following close behind. As she stops the cloud floats up above her head, gives a hearty rumble and continues it’s career of ruining all Sabrina’s clothes.

Sabrina- Hi, do you notice anything different about me?

Salem- (To Zelda) Not only is your car dead but your niece needs a smog check.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda sits Sabrina and her cloud down at the table.

Zelda- You poor dear, I had no idea you were so upset.

Sabrina- Why does everyone keep assuming I’m upset? I-I’m just a little... damp.

Zelda- Sabrina, you have a black cloud over your head. That only happens when a witch is in a funk and keeping it all bottled up.

Salem- We’re a very literal species.

Sabrina- Well let’s hope I never become a bleeding heart liberal.

Zelda- Is this about Kevin?

Sabrina- No.

Zelda- School?

Sabrina- Schools fine, Kevin and I are ancient history and that’s totally okay.

Zelda- If you don’t mind I’d like to take a look and see what your little cloud is made of?

She stands and points at the cloud and sees within it an image of Sabrina sending Kevin home after their bust-up at her aunts house.

Zelda- (Cont.) Hmm, that’s funny. I’m seeing a lot of sadness over your break up with Kevin.

The image changes to one of her kissing Harvey

Zelda- (Cont.) Lingering feelings for Harvey.

The image changes again to one of Josh catching Sabrina when she fell from a step-ladder.

Zelda- (Cont.) Conflicted emotions about Josh.

Another image is of her falling asleep over her lap-top.

Zelda- (Cont.) And you’re clearly overwhelmed with school work.

Sabrina- Not even!

A little later the cloud, and it’s falling rain have gone but Sabrina is shedding enough water to make up for it as she cries on Zelda’s shoulder. Her aunt hands her yet another tissue.

Sabrina- (Sob!) Some times it just feels like I’m being pulled in so many different directions. <Sniff!> You know like everyone expects me to be perfect all the time.

Zelda- The only person who expects you to be perfect is you. We all love you no matter what.

Sabrina- Thank you aunt Zelda <Sniff!>

Zelda- And you see? Just by getting it off your chest, your little black cloud is gone.

Sabrina- But what if it comes back? I don’t wanna be depressed again... and that wet look is totally dead.

Zelda- Well Sabrina, the only way to be sure that a black cloud wont return is to get out of yourself. Do something that’s truly for others.

Sabrina- Like what?

Zelda- Well you could help me shop for a used car.

Sabrina- Oh I don’t wanna set my sights too high. Maybe I’ll start with bathing lepers and work my way up.

Int. College house. The gangs all there. Miles is making himself a sandwich, Roxie’s doing homework at the table and Morgan and Josh sit arm in arm on the settee watching TV. Sabrina enters with a flyer having dried out somewhat.

Sabrina- Hey, did anybody see this? I’m thinking of going to the big protest rally this afternoon at the Mayflower Apartments.

Josh- Oh yeah, I heard about that. They want to er tear down that old, historic building and make way for a new parking structure.

Roxie- I am so there. I’ve been to tones of demonstrations and I don’t mean to get all braggy, but I’ve actually been arrested... twice. Once with Martin Sheen.

Sabrina- Wow! A few more arrests and you’d be qualified to be president.

Morgan- Well you can definitely count me in.

Sabrina, Josh, Roxie & Miles- (Together) Really?!

Morgan- Absolutely! If there’s one thing this university needs, it’s more parking.

Sabrina- Morgan, the protest is to save the building and stop the parking structure.

Morgan- Oh... Have a nice time. Josh and I are just gonna stay here and snuggle on the couch.

Josh- Actually, I’d like to go to the rally. The Mayflower’s architectures pretty amazing, I’d love to get some photographs before they level the place.

Morgan- Crumbling bricks over taut flesh? Good choice.

Sabrina- Miles, how about you?

Miles- Challenging authority? Public insurrection? General mayhem? I’m all over it.

Sabrina- Hey, this is our first group act of civil disobedience. Whoo-hoo!

Roxie- Whoo-hoo? That’ll go over great at the protest. All we are saying is give whoo-hoo a chance.

The four protesters leave.

Int. Spellman living room. Salem’s on the settee with the phone as Zelda comes in through the front door.

Zelda- Salem, I did it! I found the perfect car at the first dealer. It’s blue, the leather is practically new and it has the most darling cup holders.

Salem- Cup holders? What about the mileage? The tread on the tires? Has the car ever been in a accident?

Zelda- Oh I didn’t think to ask but there’s a lighted make-up mirror on both visors.

Salem- <Sigh!> Never send a woman to do a cats job.

The phone rings, Salem answers.

Salem- Yello?

Voice- Hello Mrs. Spellman?

Salem- Yes this is Mr. Spellman. My wife hasn’t made up her mind yet.

Zelda- What are you doing?

Salem- (On phone) I know she said she liked the car but I can’t let her take it at that price.

Zelda- Salem, give me that phone.

Salem- (On phone) Let’s just say she’s a lot more competent in the boudoir than she is under the hood.

Zelda snatches the phone away.

Zelda- (On phone) Hello, this is Mrs. Spellman. I’m afraid I’ll have to call you back, I’m about to become a widow.

Salem- Ghe?!

Zelda shuts off the phone.

Zelda- I told you I can handle this.

Salem- N’yeah-yeah? Then why did Mr. Let’s-make-a-deal immediately give me five hundred dollars off?

Zelda- What?! He said that price was firm. What makes him think that he can take advantage of me?

Salem- You’re a rube?

Ext. The Mayflower apartment building. The protest has a good turn out with many students with placards and banners reading things like ‘Don’t destroy our history’ and ‘Save the Mayflower’

Students- (Chanting) Save the Mayflower! Save the Mayflower.

Sabrina is handing out flyers to people passing by. Miles stands beside her with a placard.

Sabrina- (Handing out a flyer) Save the Mayflower. (To Miles) Oh this is just what I needed, I am totally out of my funk. I haven’t even thought of my tragic break-up, my grades, my lack of direction... (On Miles’ look) Okay, well not as much as I was before. (To Passer by) Hey, save the Mayflower.

Miles- This is so morally gratifying and I’m getting fairly decent upper-body work-out.

He waves his large placard about.

An elderly resident comes along with a tray of lemonade and offers one to Sabrina.

Mrs. Smiley- It’s a wonderful thing you kids are doing here. Have some lemonade.

Sabrina- Oh it’s nothing y’know. We’re just holding up a few signs, raising a little awareness.

Roxie walks past with a placard and a determined scowl and walks up to one of the policemen keeping an eye on things.

Roxie- Listen lawman, before you break out the canine units or water-cannon, may I remind you that the first amendment of the US constitution clearly states that we have a right for free assembly.

Police Officer- (Taking off his shades) Jeez Rox, give it a rest would ya?

Roxie- (Smiling) Officer Carmichael?

Police Officer- Yeah.

Roxie- I didn’t recognise you, you lose some weight?

Police Officer- Yeah, yeah, I’m on the zone... and I missed you at the no nukes rally.

Roxie- I had a Save the whale’s brunch.

A little way off, Josh takes a photo and turns to one of the tenants who’s helping with the protest.

Josh- You know these cornices are one of the best example of Romanesque revival in the city

Gustavo- Yeah, we tried to get them declared an historical landmark but we didn’t make the cut and now we got thirty days to pack up and move out.

Sabrina- That’s terrible. Are a lot of young families like yours gonna be displaced by the parking lot?

Gustavo- Half the tenants are families with kids and the other half are seniors.

Mrs. Smiley- Oh I’ve been living here for fifty years. Married my husband right there on this stoop... Lost him in the laundry room.

Gustavo- I don’t know how we’re all gonna find a place to live.

Sabrina- So they’re not just knocking down a building, they’re destroying peoples lives. Look, maybe it’s not over yet. Y’know, maybe this protest’ll really do some good.

Mrs. Smiley- Oh you’re an optimistic little fire-cracker aren’t ya?

Gustavo- We hoped the protest would attract some media attention but, so far, none of the newspapers or TV stations have returned our calls.

Sabrina- Hey! I’m the media, I could write a piece for the Adams paper and then word would spread and people would learn about your plight and the university wouldn’t dare throw you out on the street.

Mrs. Smiley- Well that’s very sweet of you. Now get your little hinnie out of my flower bed, you’re killing my petunias.

Sabrina looks down to find herself standing in a small patch of flowers surrounding a tree on the pavement. She grimaces apologetically to Mrs. Smiley.

Int. Dodgy Dave’s Used Car Lot. The salesman leads Zelda into the office.

Chuck- I had a feeling you’d be back. That car is just calling out your name.

Zelda- I know, I just love...

A voice pipes up from inside her shoulder bag and Salem’s head pokes out.

Salem- No!

Zelda- Cars. A-A subject I know quite a lot about.

Chuck- I can see that. Well like I told your husband, I can give it to you for eleven thou’

Zelda- Well that seems like a very good price.

Salem- Meow.

Zelda- Er if I hadn’t noticed the excessive wear on the tires and the shoddy repair work to the fender. Why I wouldn’t give you a penny over nine thousand.

Chuck- Ha-ha! You’re a pretty tough little negotiator. What say I throw in some brand new tires, shave off a few bucks for the fender and I give it to you for ten-five?

Zelda- Well that seems like a very reasonable compromise.

Salem- Meow.

Zelda- Oh hush-up kitty. Where do I sign?

She looks for her pen and gets a nasty nip from her little pet.

Zelda- (Cont.) Aw! (To Chuck) Would you excuse me for a moment?

She takes Salem out of sight and earshot of the salesman.

Zelda- (Cont.) What are you doing?

Salem- Can’t you see, he’s ripping you off!

Zelda- He seems like a perfectly honest man.

Salem- Yeah, and I don’t use your toothbrush to clean my ears.

Zelda- Oh that’s disgusting!

The partition that separates them from Chuck starts to rock and shake as sounds of a struggle come from the other side. Chuck watches worriedly as one of the photos there falls off onto the floor. Zelda walks back into view with her hair in disarray and with a distinct limp. She brushes her bangs out of her eyes.

Zelda- I’m sorry but I think I’m going to do a little comparison shopping.

She leaves.

Int. College house. Josh looks over Sabrina’s shoulder as she writes on her lap-top. Morgan comes down the stairs.

Josh- (To Sabrina) I really love your angle. People before parking, it’s inspired.

Morgan- Of course no-one ever stands up for the people who need parking.

Josh- Hey.

Morgan- Hi.

They kiss.

Sabrina- You don’t think it’s too sentimental?

Josh- Not at all. You know, I’ve gotta say I’m really impressed. Most people our age are too self-absorbed to get this involved. Not only do you really care, you put it in print.

Morgan- (Putting on her jacket) As much as I also care about people I’ve never met, we have a seven-thirty dinner reservation.

Josh- (To Sabrina) I wonder if this is why Ralph Nader stayed single?

Morgan- Oh one look at his suits would tell you why. Come on.

Sabrina- Okay. Well have fun and don’t eat any endangered species.

Josh- Hey, let me know if you need any help.

Morgan grabs his arm and drags him out. Sabrina watches them go.

Sabrina- (To Herself) I don’t think I’m the one that needs the help.

Int. Adams College hallway. A student reads The Adams Advocate with the headline ‘People Before Parking’ by Sabrina Spellman and a nice picture of the building by Josh. A happy Sabrina comes round the corner accompanied by Roxie.

Sabrina- (Singing) Blue days, all of them gone.
Nothing but blue sky’s from now on.

Roxie- (Worried) I think I liked you better when you were depressed.

Sabrina- Look, there’s Dean Pitchford. He’s the one in charge of the demolition of the Mayflower. (As he passes) Hi, Dean Pitchford.

Dean Pitchford- Yeah?

Sabrina- I’m Sabrina Spellman.

Dean Pitchford- Oh yes, our resident instigator. Well thanks to your article, I had a sleepless night fielding phone calls from parents and trustees.

Sabrina- Maybe you’d sleep better if you did what was right and kept those tenants in their homes. (On his look) Or.. y’know you could just screen your calls.

Dean Pitchford- Well thanks, but I wont have to worry about my phone ringing any more. The board of trustees just had an emergency meeting and resolved the problem.

He walks off.

Sabrina- (Calling after) Oh that’s great! Wait a minute, how exactly did you resolve it?

It’s too late, he’s already gone. Sabrina looks at Roxie with concern.

Ext. The Mayflower Building. Mrs. Smiley is sweeping the stoop when Sabrina runs up.

Sabrina- Hi Mrs. Smiley, I’m so glad you’re here. I just saw the Dean and he said the board resolved this problem but he didn’t say how?

Mrs. Smiley- Well apparently your article really put a fire under ‘em.

Sabrina- That’s great! You must be so happy.

Mrs. Smiley- Oh we don’t have time to be happy. (Hands Sabrina a letter) Now they say we have to be packed up and out o’ here by next week.

Int. Hilda’s Coffee Shop. Sabrina sits looking glum on the settee. She has a copy of her paper in front of her and Josh is trying to buck her up. Morgan enters and sees them cosy together. She’s worried and eavesdrops.

Josh- Sabrina, stop beating yourself up about this. Nobody’s blaming you.

Sabrina- Yes but if I hadn’t written that article...

Josh- (Interrupting) They were gonna be evicted anyway, just not quite this soon.

Morgan puts on a smile and joins them.

Morgan- Wow, somebody sure has a black cloud over her head.

Sabrina jumps up in horror and starts waving her arms above her head.

Sabrina- What?! Oh I can explain! Ah it’s just a weird atmospheric... convergence... (Sees there’s nothing there) There’s no cloud over my head?

Morgan- No, it’s something we native English speakers call "Just an expression"

Josh- Sabrina’s upset because they’re evicting everyone at the Mayflower.

Morgan- (Pleased) That’s... (Pretending to be upset) ...awful! And you worked so hard on your little article. I think that somebody needs to treat herself to a new pair of shoes. (Looks at Sabrina’s feet) Seriously.

Sabrina- How could the Dean and the board of trustees hear about those people and still be so cold hearted?

Josh- Most people don’t react to things like you and I do Sabrina.

Morgan- That’s because, to the normal world, these people are just faceless strangers.

Sabrina- Well maybe if they saw the faces of those tenants they wouldn’t be so apathetic.

Josh- Faces? (Picking up his camera) Of course! You just gave me an idea Spellman.

Int. The Mayflower Building. Mrs. Smiley lives up to her name and adds a big thumbs up.

Mrs. Smiley- How’s this?

Snap! Josh takes the photo. Gustavo and his daughter walk up the stoop and look into the camera. Snap! Two of the daughters friends who live at number 2E smile brightly. Snap! An old guy holding a picture of his deceased wife. Snap! A young couple with their year old baby. Snap!

Int. College house. Miles comes from his room with a whole sheaf of flyers. Sabrina’s hanging on the phone while Josh checks through his negatives.

Miles- Hot off the laser printer. I also took the liberty of air-brushing Mrs. Smiley’s mole.

Sabrina- (Checking the flyers) Oh these photos are perfect. When people see these faces they’re going to know how important this cause is. (Into the phone) Yeah, I’m still here. Great! All right. We’ll see you tomorrow at three. (Puts the phone down) Alright! Channel six is coming to our protest. Whoo-hoo!

Josh- Great! That’s fantastic!

Sabrina and Josh hug just as Morgan comes down stairs.

Morgan- I’m sorry, am I missing something?

Sabrina- Oh great news. Tomorrow we are holding the biggest demonstration that has ever been held at Adams College and three news crews are coming.

Josh- And a reporter from the Boston Globe.

Roxie comes in loaded down with large posters featuring Josh’s pictures.

Roxie- A dozen posters, ready to go. The guy a Kinko’s was so moved he gave me free collating for the rest of my life.

Sabrina- Wow! These are perfect. Okay, we’ve still got a ton of things to organise. We’ve gotta plaster these up all over campus.

Josh- Well I can be in charge of that. (To Morgan) D’ya wanna help me honey?

Morgan- Josh, I hate to drop a reality bomb on this little do-gooder convention but we have plans tonight. (On his blank expression) We’re going to the opening of that new club ‘The Trocadero’

Josh- Oh man! I totally forgot.

Sabrina- Maybe you could plaster one of these up while you’re there?

Morgan- Oh no can do. The only place Josh’s hands are gonna be are on me.

Josh- I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cancel.

Morgan- What?! I bought a new dress! I told everybody that we’re coming and I pulled major strings to get us in.

Josh- Morgan, these people are about to lose their homes. I think that’s a little more important than seeing you and your friends dressed in Saran-Wrap... yet again.

Sabrina- (To Morgan) Do you really wear Saran-Wrap?

Morgan- It’s Pleather! Josh, you can’t just dismiss me! We promised each other that if we had a disagreement we would, at least, discuss it.

Josh- Well your idea of discussing it means I change my mind.

Morgan- And it’s been working so well for us.

Josh- Well it’s not working this time. I’m going with Sabrina.

Morgan- Of course you are. Sabrina says jump and suddenly you’re slapping flyers all over a school you don’t even go to.

She spins on her heals and storms off upstairs.

Miles- (To Roxie) So, on a scale from one to ten, how uncomfortable do you feel right now?

Roxie- Very comfortable, it feels just like home.

Sabrina- (To Josh) Y’know I understand if you wanna be with Morgan.

Josh- No-no-no, I wanna be with you... I mean here... working on this... with you.

Roxie gives her room-mate the old raised eyebrow, knowing smile.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Salem reads the car adds in the local free paper while Zelda sits soaking her feet and holding an ice-pack to her head.

Zelda- I have had it! I have been to every used car lot on the eastern seaboard. If one more toupee wearing, polyester clad salesman calls me ‘Little lady’...

Salem- Your worries are over Little lady. I’ve come across a couple of beauties that I think will be perfect for you.

Zelda- (Reading) A seventy-two Oldsmobile? Salem, that things a land yacht.

Salem- Well as you fade into your golden years you may find yourself spreading a little and you’ll want a nice bench seat.

Zelda- (Standing up and getting out of the foot bath) This is ridiculous! I am going to get that little blue car we saw yesterday.

Salem- Fine! Get the car but since I’m the one maintaining it, at least let me look under the hood?

Zelda- All right, but for goodness sake, this time, could you try and be a little more discrete?

Ext. Dodgy Dave’s Used Car lot. Zelda stands beside the blue Honda with its hood up. Salem is head first into the engine.

Zelda- How does it look?

Salem- The water pumps new but it looks like the cylinder head might be loose.

Chuck comes over behind Zelda..

Salem- (Cont.) Wish I had a wrench.

Chuck- Well hello little lady.

Zelda jumps surprised but he hasn’t heard Salem.

Chuck- (Cont.) Have I got good news for you. Talked to my manager, he has agreed to your nine thousand dollar offer.

Zelda- Oh well that’s wonderful. Let’s go sign the papers.

He leads the way towards the office. Zelda hangs back.

Zelda- (Cont.) I’ll be there in just a sec.

She nips back to Salem who is still inspecting the engine with his butt up in the air.

Zelda- (Whispering) Salem, he’s gonna meet our price.

Salem- O-oh! I’m stuck!

Chuck- Is there a problem?

Again Zelda jumps with surprise. He has a nasty habit of creeping up behind her.

Zelda- Erm no. It’s just... Th... Well my cat is stuck.

Chuck- I can see that but don’t you worry, we’ll take him out o’ there and if anything goes wrong, then we’ll just get you a new cat. Any colour you’d like.

Ext. The Mayflower Apartment building. The ‘People before Parking’ protest is in full swing with an even bigger turn out than the previous one. Sabrina leads the chanting crowd with a megaphone.

Everyone- (Chanting) People before parking! People before parking!

Roxie arrives hauling ten feet of one inch, fully welded link, mild steel chain and a few padlocks.

Roxie- Spellman, you rock! This is so much better than the genetically engineered corn rally. I just wanted to tell ya.

Sabrina- Thanks, coming from you that’s quite a compliment. What’s with the new jewellery?

Roxie- It’s not really a protest unless I’ve chained myself to something. We all have our little traditions.

She goes off to find something to chain herself to as Miles comes past.

Sabrina- Hey Miles! Have you seen Josh? He’s supposed to be corralling the news crews.

Miles- No I haven’t but I have made amazing discovery. Chicks dig social revolutionaries.

He looks up, spots two girl protesters and gives them the clenched fist salute.

Miles- (Calling out) Down with the man!

The girls look less than impressed, much to Miles’ embarrassment. His blushes are saved by Josh’s arrival.

Josh- Sabrina, we’ve got problems.

Sabrina- Josh, what’s the matter? Where are the news crews?

Josh- They’re all covering a breaking story. Apparently it’s the biggest thing since baby Jessica.

He holds up his pocket TV for them all to see. It shows a reporter, Mindy Burbano, talking to camera with a ‘Live Breaking News’ logo.

Mindy- Paramedics are standing by as fire fighters work tirelessly to free the terrified feline. We’ll keep you updated as this tragic situation unfolds. Meanwhile let’s see if we can get a comment from the grief stricken owner.

The camera pans left as Mindy places her microphone in front of a not so grief stricken Zelda.

Zelda- Oh really, he’s fine. (Turning back to the handsome fireman) So you’re saying you can just throw me over your shoulder?

Sabrina- Gotta go! (Giving the megaphone to Miles) Here!

she leaves.

Ext. Dodgy Dave’ Used Car lot. Hidden from view amongst the cars a swirl of sparkles resolves into Sabrina. She hurries over to Zelda who’s talking the Mindy.

Zelda- ...Well he’s truly like a member of the family.

Mindy- Sure.

Sabrina- Hey aunt Zelda.

She drags her aunt away from Mindy.

Sabrina- (Cont.) What are you doing? You’re totally down grading my coverage.

Zelda- Well I’m sorry but I can’t use my magic with all these people watching.

Sabrina- I have an idea. Do you think you can keep everyone’s attention on you for a minute?

Zelda- (Flicking her hair and thrusting out her chest) Well that shouldn’t be a problem.

She goes back to the reporter and the crowd on onlookers. Sabrina slips away to a quiet corner

Int. Honda engine block. The sparkles happen again and a miniature Sabrina stands there looking up at Salem’s enormous stuck head.

Sabrina- Salem, you’re ruining my protest!

Salem- Yeah! Like I planned on waving my butt on national television!

Sabrina- Can’t you just suck it in a little?

Salem- I am! I’ve gotta cut back on the Nachos. On the plus side, I am now a celebrity.

Sabrina- No, your butt's a celebrity.

Salem- Not the first time.

Fireman- (OS) It think we’re gonna have to get the ‘Jaws of life’ This might take a couple of hours.

Sabrina- I don’t have a couple of hours!

She’s had enough of this and with a little help from her magic finger Salem flies butt first out of the engine screaming as he goes. Zelda catches him and Mindy runs over.

Mindy- Oh! Is he all right? Are there any missing limbs?

Zelda- Oh he’s fine. No harm done. (Under her breath) Until we get home.

Mindy- (To Camera) Cut. Let’s pack it in.

As she and her crew walk off having lost their story, they run into Sabrina.

Sabrina- Hey, did you know the students are storming the administration building over at Adams?

Mindy- No. It’s not a cat stuck in an engine block but... it’s better than nothing. Let’s go. (To her crew) Let’s role.

They leave as Zelda and her rescued cat find Chuck, the salesman.

Zelda- So should we go sign the papers?

Chuck- Absolutely. There’s one slight problem. Your cat seems to have done some damage while he was stuck in there. I would say... two thousand dollars worth.

Zelda- So we’re back to the original asking price?

Chuck- Right you are little lady.

Zelda- Well in that case I’d like to trade in my cat. Do you have a ninety-seven calico with low mileage?

Ext. The Mayflower Apartment building. The reporter stands before the demonstrators talking into camera.

Mindy- We're reporting live from Adams College where administrators are planning on turning fifty residents of the Mayflower Apartments out onto the cold streets of Boston.

As she talked over the incessant chanting of People before parking, Dean Pitchford comes out of the building and raises his arms.

Dean Pitchford- (Calling out) Excuse me! Can I have your attention! People please! Can I please have your attention!

Sabrina- (Through the megaphone) Quiet down! Let the man speak.

The chanting abates and when he can be heard.

Dean Pitchford- After careful consideration of the plight of the Mayflower residents, (Looking pointedly at Sabrina) which was fortunately brought to our attention. Adams College is prepared to compensate the tenants by providing housing in the Candour Arms. A new residential community on the other side of the campus.

Sabrina- You call that compensation? How can you insult these people by asking them to move from their beloved homes into pre-fab cardboard boxes?

Crowd- Yeah! Yeah!

Mrs. Smiley- Do these pre-fab cardboard boxes have washers and dryers in each unit?

Dean Pitchford- Yes.

Gustavo- And dishwashers?

Dean Pitchford- Yes sir!

Sabrina- How are appliances supposed to compare to a lifetime of memories?

Mrs. Smiley- Compared to my memories they win hands down. (To the Dean) When do we move?

Dean Pitchford- Ah that’s the spirit.

Later. Officer Carmichael and a colleague finally manage to extricate Roxie from her chains with the help of bolt cutters and with a thank you, she leaves. The only people now remaining on the stoop of the Mayflower Apartment building are Josh and Sabrina, who is sat dejectedly tearing up flyers.

Josh- Oh what’s the matter? Post protest blues?

Sabrina- I guess. You know the university is still gonna tear down that building. I just feel like we settled.

Josh- Sabrina, this wasn’t about a building, it was about people. You said so yourself and they’re happy. I don’t think they feel like they’re settling. You did a good thing.

Sabrina- You really think so?

Josh- Yeah I do. (Puts his arm about her shoulders) You’re pretty amazing.

There’s an awkward moment again.

Josh- (Cont.) Sabrina...

Mrs. Smiley- (Interrupting) Sabrina, I just wanna tell you how wonderful this all is. Thanks to you and your boyfriend, I get a new home.

Sabrina- Oh well I’m glad it all worked out and he’s not my boyfriend. He already has a girlfriend.

Josh- But actually, not any more. Morgan and I broke up this morning.

Sabrina- What? Really?! Oh Josh, I’m so sorry.

Mrs. Smiley- (To Josh, with a wink) No she’s not.

Int. College house. Morgan sits distraught on the settee clutching a cushion to her stomach.

Morgan- It’s really over this time, he had his mind made up. Nothing that I was gonna say or wear was gonna change it.

Sabrina- I’m sorry Morgan. I know how much you cared about him.

Morgan- I did... but in the end I guess I was just too much woman for him. You know I really think that he would rather be with someone like you.

Sabrina- Really? Did he-Did he say that? I mean did he actually mention me by name?

Morgan- I didn’t say you, I said someone like you.

Sabrina- Oh... right.

Morgan- Oh I just-I don’t know what I’m gonna do Sabrina. I just feel so depressed.

Sabrina- All I can say is, you’ve gotta get out of yourself. Y’know you’ve gotta focus all your energies on something positive.

The doorbell rings.

Morgan- That’s excellent advice but I think I’ll just stay with my own tried and true method.

She answers the door as it rings again. A tall, dark and handsome guy is standing there and Morgan turns on her bright, irrepressible smile.

Morgan- (Cont.) Hi Dave! I’m all ready. (To Sabrina) Bye.

And she’s gone. Sabrina stands looking at the closed door and shaking her head.

Sabrina- (To Herself) Now why didn’t I think of that?

Run credits.