The Melissa Zone news :: pictures :: forums :: and more :: the ultimate Melissa Joan Hart fan site ::
Sabrina The Teenage Witch - View Transcript

Witchright Hall

Written By - Bruce Ferber & Marley Sims
Transcribed By - Paul Booth

Cast

Sabrina - Melissa Joan Hart
Hilda - Caroline Rhea
Zelda - Beth Broderick
Salem - Nick Bakay
Amanda - Emily Hart
Prof. James Hexton - Charles Shaughnessy
Robin Davis - Jane Sibbett
Bridgette - Charmaine Degrate
Sean - Thad Luckinbill
Phil - Blake Clark
Sam - Jon Ames
Mr. McBride - Jerry Lambert
Mr. Martin - Steve Barr
Duck Head - Richard S. Horvitz
Chuck - Kyle Brent Gibson
Tiffany - Agatha Drake

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this transcript, nor do I own any rights to the television show Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. It was created by Nell Scovell and belongs to her, Viacom Productions Inc, Hartbreak Films, and the Warner Brothers Television network. The characters are based on the original characters appearing in Archie Comics.

 

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina’s gone over to her aunts for dinner and helps them set the table.

Hilda- Is it my imagination, or do you eat more with us now than when you lived here.

Sabrina- Oh well I couldn’t stay away. Nobody makes ghoulash like aunt Zelda.

Zelda- The trick is to marinate the ghoul.

The toaster pings and a message pops up.

Hilda- Oh who would be so rude as to send us mail at dinner time?

Zelda takes the message from the toaster and reads it.

Zelda- It’s from cousin Marigold. <Gasp!> She wants to send her daughter, Amanda, to live with us for a year.

Hilda- The same Amanda who set our house on fire?

Sabrina- And locked me in a jar? I’m so out o’ here.

She heads for the door.

Zelda- Wait Sabrina. Oh poor Amanda’s worse than ever.

Salem- Can a person be worse that pure evil?

Zelda- It’s just so sad. Her mother just got married for the nineteenth time and Amanda’s not taking it well.

Hilda- That makes two of us. I’m still trying to bag husband number one.

Zelda- Marigold thinks that if Amanda goes to school in the mortal realm and lives here with us, we might be able to straighten her out.

Hilda- Zelda, this is a huge commitment. We’re going to have to think long and hard before we agree to anything... No, she can’t come!

Sabrina- When’s Amanda supposed to be here?

The house shakes and blue lightning light flashes from upstairs.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Please let that be an earthquake!

A sweet, young teenage girl comes skipping down the stairs, brunet hair bouncing around her innocent face.

Amanda- (Hugging Zelda) Hi everybody. Thank you so so much for taking me in. (Sniffing) Ew, what died in here?

Zelda- That would be our dinner.

Amanda- I’ll order in. (To Sabrina) I guess, since you’re at college, I’ll be taking over your room. I think it’s gonna be really cool once I’ve changed everything about it.

With a smile she goes off upstairs to start remodelling.

Sabrina- Well that just killed my appetite.

Zelda- Oh I think it killed everybody’s

Salem- (Head in the ghoulash bowl) Yom! Yom! Yom!

Hilda- Well not everybody’s.

Salem- <Burp!> Oh! Yom! Yom!

Run opening credits.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina heads for the door followed by her aunts.

Sabrina- All right, well that was fun. See you in a year.

Zelda- Honey, we’re sorry Amanda’s taken over your room but we can’t turn our backs on family.

Sabrina- Oh I wouldn’t turn my back on Amanda... ever.

Hilda- We’ll make sure she doesn’t disturb any of your things.

There’s a huge crash outside the front door followed by more smaller ones. Sabrina opens the door to find her dressing table, drawers and practically all her things in a pile outside. Cushions, pictures and a lamp fall from above to join the pile.

Sabrina- Thanks for taking care of that.

Hilda- Salem’s right, the girl's pure evil. Oow! Can I borrow this purse?

Sabrina- You can keep it all. I’ll be sure to write.

As the door is blocked she uses her finger to make herself vanish in a swirl of sparkles.

Int. Spellman kitchen. After seeing Sabrina off, Hilda and Zelda come through to side the table and wash up.

Hilda- Zelda, what are we gonna do? We can’t send that little monster to a mortal high school.

Zelda- Well maybe we could home school her.

Salem- Over my dead body.

The aunts find that idea very tempting.

Salem- (Cont.) Ghe!

Fortunately for him they are distracted by the pinging toaster.

Zelda- Oh look, a video from Marigold.

Hilda- How thoughtful. It’s probably twenty years overdue and she wants us to return it.

Zelda- Oh look, there’s a note. (Reading) ‘I just met someone on my honeymoon who gave me this. Try it if you’re desperate and frustrated.’

Salem- That’s when I usually rent a video.

Int. Spellman living room. Zelda presses the play button as they sit down in front of the TV. The video plays showing a large house surrounded by green lawns. Kids play on the grass with a mongrel dog and Professor James Hexton narrates.

James- Typical suburban teenagers living in a typical suburban home... Not! Welcome to Witchright Hall where rebellious and magically challenged young witches learn to function in the mortal realm.

Salem- Hot digidy! Our troubles are over.

The view changes to an indoor shot of a typical mealtime. Plates are passed around the table.

James- The children live and go to school under the same roof. Learning to control their magical impulses and use their powers appropriately.

Hilda- I’ve seen enough. I’ll get the cheque-book, you throw Amanda in the car.

Zelda- Wait-wait-wait!.

The scene changes showing a thirty something blonde woman sat at the head of the table and a man with a distinguished flash of silver in his neat black hair. He puts his arm across the back of her chair and looks into the camera.

James- To the neighbourhood we’re simply a loving couple who adopt delinquent youths.

Zelda- Oh my God! That’s James Hexton.

Hilda- The James Hexton?! Who’s James Hexton?

Zelda- The man whose heart I shattered into a million pieces back in fourteen sixty-nine. Oh he said he’d never forgive me.

Hilda- Now I remember. He waded through a moat of alligators just to see you and you slammed the door in his face. I see his leg grew back.

Salem- This is a disaster. If you take Amanda to the school for an interview, she’ll never get in.

Zelda- He’s right. (Looking pointedly at Hilda) Someone else will have to take her.

Hilda- I can’t get anybody into school! Daddy had to donate a fleet of Volkswagen’s to get me into clown college.

Int. College house. Sabrina paces back and forth.

Sabrina- No-no-no-no-no! On second thought... No!

Hilda grabs her by the arms and pulls her face to face.

Hilda- I’ll buy you a Porsche?

Sabrina- Keep talkin’

Zelda pulls her from Hilda’s grasp.

Zelda- Hilda! You can’t bribe Sabrina into doing the right thing for her family.

Sabrina- Stay out o’ this.

Hilda grabs her niece and pulls her back.

Hilda- (To Zelda) Give me ten more seconds and I’ll have her palms so greased she’ll need a drip-pan.

Zelda yanks her from Hilda’s grasp.

Zelda- Listen to me Sabrina, Witchright Hall is Amanda’s last chance. If she doesn’t get accepted there, she’ll be banished to the mortal realm forever causing destruction wherever she goes.

Sabrina- Unbelievable. I am this close... (holds her fingers a half inch apart) ...to getting a nine-eleven turbo and you play the apocalypse card.

Zelda- (Pleased) I am good.

Ext. Witchright Hall front porch. Sabrina leads a less than happy Amanda to the front door.

Sabrina- Come on Amanda, turn that frown upside-down. You’re gonna love it here.

She presses the intercom button.

Phil- Whadya want? Why do I care?

Sabrina- Er we have an appointment with the headmaster. Amanda Wiccan and her cousin Sabrina. We’re a little early because...

Amanda- (Interrupting) Because everybody hates me and they can’t wait to get rid of me.

Phil- Wow, you sound like a real peach. Doors open.

Int. Witchright Hall. Sabrina and Amanda enter a large entrance hall with a wide staircase off to their left. A mangy mongrel sits by the stairs with it’s tongue lolling out.

Sabrina- Oh look at this sweet lookin’ dog. Here boy.

Phil- First off, I’m old enough to be your grandfather. Secondly, the name is Phil.

Sabrina- Oh a dog named Phil. Any relation to a boy named Sue?

Laughing she goes to pet him.

Phil- Hands off toots, I’m not one of your touchy-feely types. I happen to be the head of the Phys-Ed department. Now both of ya, drop and give me twenty!

Sabrina has an awful flash-back of Sgt. Slater at Witch Camp and starts to get down to do the push ups. She’s stopped by...

Amanda- No way! I don’t go to school here.

Phil- Yet. (Calling out) Okay, let’s get a move on you lard-bottoms!

Bridgette- Coming coach Phil!

Three students come jogging down stairs in sweats and out towards the back of the house.

Phil- (Under his breath) Pathetic bunch.

He chases after them.

Phil- (Cont.) I know yorkies who run faster than you!

Sabrina- (To Amanda) Well we know one thing, the Phys-Ed department is solid.

Amanda- Yeah, I wonder what kind of slobbering animal teaches history?

A shimmer of light solidifies to reveal Professor Hexton.

James- That would be me. James Hexton, headmaster. In a few weeks I should have the slobbering under control.

Sabrina- She didn’t mean that. She’s Amanda and I’m her cousin Sabrina.

James- Delighted.

He goes to shake her hand but suddenly puts the hand to his head instead.

James- (Cont.) Oh er would you excuse me a minute? A mob of angry women is about to show up at the door.

He goes to the door and opens it.

Mr. McBride- (Angry) What do you...

He’s cut off by James closing the door again.

James- Make that ‘Mob of angry men’ I’m so hit and miss today.

He opens the door again and faces the group of men. They have hold of a leather jacketed blonde youth.

Mr. Martin- Hexton, that hormone crazed son of yours is ruining our daughters lives!

James- Oh lord, it’s only just four o’clock. (To Sabrina and Amanda) All right, back in a jiff.

He goes outside closing the door behind him.

Sabrina- Well I, for one, am loving this place.

Amanda- Great, then you stay here and I’ll move in with your room-mates at college.

She heads for the door but Sabrina’s finger puts a freeze on her in mid stride.

Robin- Nicely done!

Sabrina looks round to see the blonde woman from the video coming down the stairs.

Robin- (Cont.) Oh I’ve often practised that technique myself but I keep coming up against the same obstacle.

Sabrina- Irritable spell syndrome?

Robin- I’m mortal. The only magic I can do involves mascara and... (Swishing her long blonde hair.) Lady Clairol. Robin Davis, school director.

She shakes Sabrina’s hand.

Robin- (Cont.) I’m guessing that feisty little frozen thing is Amanda?

Sabrina- U-hu and I’m her room temperature cousin Sabrina. We have an appointment with professor Hexton.

Robin- Oh you are in for a treat, the man is a true innovator. This morning he took his world history class back in time to meet Ghandi.

Sabrina- Really?

Robin- They learned about passive resistance and then treated the Mahatma to an everything bagel.

Sabrina- Oh, well right now he’s on the porch practising passive resistance on some irate neighbours.

Robin- I bet that’s going well. I’ll be right back.

Ext. Witchright Hall. The mob of angry men have professor Hexton and his son, Sean, passively hemmed in by the door. Sean leans unconcerned against the wall as Robin come out to join them.

Mr. Martin- This is a decent place to live!

Mr. McBride- I don’t think we want to have your family...

Robin- (Interrupting) Afternoon gentlemen, what seems to be the problem today?

Mr. McBride- Our daughters are so busy mooning over your boy, Sean, they can’t eat, sleep or do their homework.

Sean- (Pleased) You gotta love me.

James- I don’t think they gotta.

Mr. Martin- It’s just plain weird. It’s like he’s got all the girls in the neighbourhood hypnotised.

Robin- Hypnotised?

Sean shrugs smugly.

Robin- (Cont.) Let me assure you, my husband and I will do everything in our power to squelch whatever magic Sean wields over your daughters.

Mr. McBride- You know this town thinks you and your husband are doing a fine thing taking in these screwed-up kids, but if you can’t control them be advised, we’ve got a really testy Kuwana’s Club.

James- Oh we’ll let that be a warning to us.

The mob slap each other on the back and leave.

Robin- (To Sean) You put some kind of romantic spell on those girls didn’t you?

Sean- It seamed to work nicely with the ‘Dork’ spell I put on their boyfriends.

James- Sean, you can’t play around with peoples feelings!

Sean- Oh unlike you two who can play around with the most sacred institution in the mortal realm?

James- (Confused) Indian Bingo?

Sean- You pretend you’re married!

Robin- For your protection, to keep away suspicious neighbours.

Sean- Ha-ha. (Waving towards the disappearing mob) Working like a charm so far.

James- Don’t you mouth off to us! I’m sending you up to your room and taking away your magic. Now give me the finger.

Sean- With pleasure.

James- You know what I mean.

Reluctantly he raises his index finger instead of his middle one and James twirls his hand. The finger comes off and jumps into James’ hand. Another twirl of the hand and Sean vanishes.

Robin- Very impressive.

James- Oh it’s been a busy week. I’ve got fingers coming out of my... Don’t ask.

Int. Witchright Hall. Sabrina stands patiently waiting. Amanda is showing remarkable patience also. It’s taking absolutely forever to complete that step she started. James and Robin come in.

James- Okay Sabrina, whadya say we defrost your cousin and get this interview rolling?

Robin closes her eyes in concentration while James, noticing, twirls his hand. Robin points at Amanda and she finally completes her step. Robin jumps with pleasure at having managed to work magic.

Robin- Oh my God, I did it! Ha-ha!

James- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. No, it was me.

Robin- (Disappointed) It’s always you. (To Sabrina and Amanda) Nice meeting you. (To James) I’ll catch up with you later.

She leaves.

James- If you’d care to come this way.

He leads them to the door of his study and enters without bothering to open the door first.

Sabrina- Oh well when in Rome...

She walks through the door after him with Amanda following.

Int. Professor Hexton’ study. All the walls are lined with book shelves. Amanda comes through the closed door to join Sabrina and James.

James- First off, let’s make ourselves comfortable.

He gestures towards two ornate chairs before his large leather topped desk. He seats himself behind it.

Sabrina- (Sitting) Oh well we’re already comfortable. We felt at home the minute we walked in the door, right Amanda?

Amanda- (Smiling brightly) This place bites!

James- It can, I wouldn’t pet the Phys-Ed teacher. All right, let’s review your file. (Searching his desk) Wiccan file? Wiccan file? I know I put it somewhere. Er excuse me...

His chair starts to raise up in the air and turn towards the book shelf behind him.

James- (Cont.) Ah yes.

The chair carries him up to the top shelf.

James- (Cont.) Err Wiccan I believe. Yes, here we are.

He plucks the file from the shelf and peruses through it as the chair returns him to his starting place behind the desk.

James- (Cont.) Let’s see, you’ve been expelled from twelve different schools. You’ve forced fourteen teachers into early retirement. One into a strait-jacket.

Sabrina looks across at her cousin with raised eyebrows. Amanda nods confirmation.

James- (Cont.) On the other hand, you were the top seller in the Other Realm High magazine drive.

Sabrina- That’s what I love about Amanda, she’s a real go-getter.

James- It says here you never turned in the money.

Amanda- That’s because I spent it on a mountain bike... No wait, I stole the bike, I spent the money on a Kate Spade bag.

Sabrina- So Amanda has a problem with dishonesty and greed, but that’s just because of her troubled background. I mean, I think if you get to know Amanda you will see that she is a good spirit with a kind heart.

Amanda proves this by hurling a miniature fire-ball at her file in James’ hand. The file bursts into flames.

James- Oh! Aw!

Sabrina- See how quickly she warmed up to you?

Amanda grins as James tries to blow out the flames. Once the flames are out he’s left with only a few charred shreds of paper.

Sabrina- (Cont.) I am so sorry. I’m sure if I just make a few phone calls I can get all of Amanda’s records.

James- Not necessary. I know the type of student I’m dealing with.

Sabrina- (Desperate) Oh please professor, there’s a lot more to Amanda than meets the eye. I...Er...She’s very serious about school.

Amanda points turning professor Hexton’s desk into a malt-shop bar complete with stools with James behind it in a paper hat and striped apron.

Amanda- I’ll have a banana split, two scoops of vanilla with chocolate sprinkles. Oh and er... get a little something for yourself.

James- (Smiling) I don’t think so.

A twirl of his hand and all Amanda’s finger-work is undone.

James- (Cont.) Well so much for the interview, now when can you come back for the tour?

Amanda- (Thinking) Hmm, never.

Sabrina- Or now, or sooner. Y’know, whatever works for you.

James- How about after my faculty meeting?

Sabrina- Oh Amanda’s flexible.

She squeezes Amanda’s chops and Amanda jerks out of her grip.

Sabrina-(Cont.)(Through gritted teeth) What a kid.

Int. Witchright Hall dining room. The faculty, comprising of James, Robin and Phil sit at the head of the table. James starts the meeting.

James- Right, let’s begin today’s meeting with old business. Any old business?

Phil- Yes, we need equipment for the gym.

Robin- We don’t have a gym.

Phil- We need a gym.

James- I’ll look into it. Any new business?

Robin- I think we should talk about Sean. He’s been wreaking havoc around here for months and, frankly, I don’t know if we can turn him around.

Phil- Let me handle it. There’s a pack o’ rottweiler’s down town who owe me.

James- You want to have a student attacked by a pack of wild dogs?

Phil- You make it sound so dirty.

James- Maybe that’s because my approach to education doesn’t usually involve drawing blood.

Robin- James, he’s been bringing the entire neighbourhood to our door and jeopardising the security of the school. We may have to consider expulsion.

James- I cannot believe what I am hearing! Are you telling me you want to just give up on a troubled youth and turn him out on the street?

Phil- I’m with the broad, dump the chump! Tough love baby.

James- Well forgive me if I don’t take the advice of someone who scratches himself at the dining room table. I’m not giving up on Sean, and if the witches had given up on me when I was at correctional school, where would I be today?

Phil- Congress? (On James’ look) Do we have any beer-nuts?

James- All right, that’s it, meeting adjourned. Robin, why don’t you show Sabrina and Amanda round the school and later I’ll have Amanda sit in on my ethics class.

Phil- How can I be of service?

James- You can clean up the mess you left in the back yard.

Phil- Deal, but I want a new dental plan.

Int. Witchright Hall entrance hall. A girl student, Bridgette, comes down the stairs with a huge smile and spots a sulky girl sitting looking board rigid.

Bridgette- Hi! You must be Amanda. Are you a new student here?

Amanda- I hope not.

Bridgette- You’re negative. I used to be negative, now I just wanna make a good impression and have people like me for the positive, uplifting person that I am.

Amanda- Good luck with that.

Bridgette- Thanks.

A bell rings.

Bridgette- (Cont.) Time for class. Are you sitting in?

Amanda- (Sarcastic) Wouldn’t miss it.

Bridgette- Great! You can sit right next to me, the seat is always empty.

Bridgette leads the way into the classroom.

Amanda- (Following) What a shock.

Int. Witchright Hall classroom. It’s a casual set up with seats in a semi-circle facing a desk. The rest of the students are there as Amanda and her new chum arrive.

Bridgette- Hey everybody, let’s give a warm welcome to our guest, Amanda.

They all point at Amanda who ends up with furry boots, mittens, scarf, knit hat and ski-jacket.

Bridgette- (Cont.) I love that outfit.

Amanda- It’s yours.

A quick flick of her finger and Bridgette’s wearing the outfit and Amanda’s back to her own. The guys look at one another impressed.

Amanda- That’s the best you guys can do? And you call yourselves delinquents.

Sam- I do all right. The other day I zapped a third cheek onto professor Hexton’s butt.

Amanda- You’re still doing butt jokes? That’s so second grade.

Bridgette points at herself, removing the warm welcome outfit.

Bridgette- So what do you do for fun?

Amanda- You’re looking at the witch who put the hole in the ozone layer.

Sean- Wow, I didn’t know girls could do stuff like that.

Amanda- Well you don’t know this girl. Okay, so here’s the plan for today’s class. (To Sam) You, the minute Hexton starts to talk, release the killer-bees.

She takes a jar from her pack and tosses it to him. The jar buzzes angrily.

Amanda- (To Sean) You, when the mood strikes, unleash Tornado-in-a-drum.

She hands him a jar.

Amanda- (Cont.) And stay low. (To Bridgette) And you Smiley, take your pick. Salmonella or mad cow decease?

Bridgette- I like them both.

She takes both jars grinning.

Bridgette- (Cont.) Are we gonna get in trouble?

Amanda- Hello, we’re witches. You people have so much to learn.

The Egyptian sarcophagus against the wall creaks open and James steps out.

James- And I’ll be the one teaching them thank you very much. Now please take your seats and I’ll take those jars.

A twirl of his hand and all Amanda’s goodies are on his desk.

James- (Cont.) Well Miss Wiccan, you certainly are quite bold for a guest.

Amanda- I’m just getting warmed up.

James- Listen to me dearie, I’ve been a witch since the Spanish Inquisition and if Torquemada didn’t scare me, you certainly don’t. (To the class) All right, now where did we leave off yesterday?

Sam- I was telling Sean how I used my magic to hack into the computers at the Pentagon and you were babbling on about something.

James- Ethics.

Sam- Doesn’t ring a bell.

James- Ah yes, now I remember, I was about to pose a problem. Suppose-Suppose you meet a mortal with whom you’re interested in have a relationship, how would you go about that? Sam?

Sam- Well I’d use a mind-reading spell to amass data from her brain and then photographically memorise her interests.

Sean- News flash dude, you’re photographing the wrong stuff.

James- Yes, just the person you want to listen to. The only way he can get a girl to like him is to put a spell on her. Now can anyone tell me what’s wrong with what Sean did?

Amanda- He got caught.

James- Oh yes he did, and now his magic finger lives in this jar. (Picks up the jar from his desk and studies it frowning) with a toe. Can’t explain.

Robin enters the class with Sabrina after giving her a tour of the school. They stand at the back listening.

James- (Cont.) All right now, listen up people, here’s the deal. You can’t find a relationship in a potion bottle. Oh sure you can manipulate people but real friendship, true love, they need more than magic to survive. They need human emotion.

Sean- What makes you such an expert?

James- Well I wouldn’t exactly call myself an expert but I do have some good friends and I did know true love... once. Hm, ah it was the Summer of sixty-nine. Fourteen sixty-nine and Botticelli was having one of his back yard barbeques. Suddenly I looked up and saw a vision due west of the suckling pig. She was beautiful, she was brilliant and for a brief moment in time, she was mine.

Amanda- What happened?

James- Ah she left me for that stud-muffin Gutenberg. Ah big deal, so the guy printed the Bible, it’s not like he wrote the blasted thing. (Looking up to heaven) Sorry.

Sean- Well maybe if you’d used magic you would have stayed together.

James- Dah! But it wouldn’t have been the same, would it? Because I’d already experienced real magic, that all consuming passion that comes from within.

Robin taps Sabrina on her arm and leads her from the room.

Bridgette- That’s the most romantic story I’ve ever heard but if anyone ever dumps me for a Bible maker... they’re toast.

As she gestures an blue bolt of electrically charged magic shoots from her finger, ricochets off a suit of armour with a clang and zips across the room forcing students to duck.

Sam- So are you saying that a guy like me could get a girl without any magic?

James- I did.

Sean- But she like totally broke your heart?

James- Letting me know I had one. Now why don’t you see if you can find yours?

He unscrews the jar and Sean’s finger zips across the room and back onto his hand.

James- (Cont.) All right people, I’m going to let you ponder these matters for a while, while I take these jars to the land-fill. Carry on.

A twirl of his hand and he and Amanda’s jars vanish.

Sam- Okay Amanda, what else have you got in that magic bag?

Amanda- Everything from cold-sores to cold wars.

Sam- Cool.

Sean- Can I be the first to say you’d be a real asset to this school.

Bridgette- And you could help me with the yearbook.

Int. Witchright Hall entrance hall. Robin shows Sabrina and Amanda to the door.

Robin- We still have a number of applications to review before we fill the space but we'll call you as soon as we make our decision.

Sabrina- Okay. Well we’ll be waiting by the phone... or the toaster. Y’know, which ever’s quicker.

They leave.

Ext. Witchright Hall front porch. As soon as the door closes.

Sabrina- All right, let me have it. You hate this place right?

Amanda- I don’t know, it beats living with stepfather number nineteen.

Sabrina- (Surprised) Amanda, that is the most positive thing you’ve ever said. You must really like it here.

Amanda- Well it’s the first place I ever felt I belonged.

Sabrina- If you get accepted here you don’t have to be shuttled back and forth from realm to realm. I mean you could really find some stability here and turn your life around.

Amanda- Yeah, it all sounds good... but I learned a long time ago not to get my hopes up.

Duck Head- I’ll put in a good word for ya.

They both look around at an umbrella with a ducks head handle in the rack outside the door.

Duck Head- But it may not carry much weight, I’m an umbrella. Ha!

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina paces as her aunts prepare another meal.

Sabrina- What’s taking so long? Why haven’t they called yet?

Zelda- When they do, can I answer the phone? I wanna hear James’ voice one more time.

Sabrina- Amanda really liked the place. I sure hope she gets in.

Hilda- That makes four of us.

Salem- Five of us!

The phone rings. Three witches dive for it and Sabrina, being the youngest and quickest, wins.

Sabrina- (On Phone) Hello? Hi-Hi professor Hexton. So?... No?!

Hilda- Oh say it aint so!

Sabrina- (On Phone) But she was so... I see... But Amanda really liked... Okay... Thanks anyway.

She puts down the phone.

Sabrina- I don’t believe this.

Hilda- You?! We’re the ones who are gonna be stuck living with her.

Zelda- Did they give you any explanation as to why they didn’t accept Amanda?

Sabrina- No... but they’re going to.

Int. Witchright Hall dining room. Everyone’s finished and left after their meal except Robin, James and Sam, the nerdy teenage witch.

Sam- Is it okay if I go to Copymart to look at hard drives?

Robin- After you clear you place.

He points and zaps his plate and glass away.

James- The right way please.

He zaps it back again and Sam picks them up and carries them to the kitchen.

Robin- (To James) I caught the end of your lecture today, it was very moving.

James- Oh thanks. D’ya think it had any effect on the kids?

They stand and start clearing away there own places.

Robin- Well I know it made me look at things a bit differently. (Tentatively) Do you think that you could ever love that way again?

James- Well I er... I suppose it’s... possible.

They both reach for the last glass on the table and their hands touch. They look into each others eyes for a magic millisecond before magic tears them apart. Sabrina’s magic as she appears at their side startling them.

Sabrina- I can’t believe you rejected my cousin Amanda. If she’s not right for this nut-house, who is?

James- Lori Kersberg. Thanks to her the Cubs haven’t won a world series since nineteen O-eight.

Robin- We take only the most extreme cases. At the end of the day we felt that Amanda just wasn’t as troubled a soul.

Sabrina- She’s a nightmare! She’s a spoiled, selfish little brat who’s been nothing but trouble since the day she was born.

James- We thought she was rather nice. Actually, that’s the main reason we rejected her.

Sabrina- You saw the well behaved Amanda. Want to see the real Amanda? Watch what happens when she finds out she didn’t get accepted, she’s gonna go ballistic.

She points at the mirror on the wall and a view of her aunts kitchen appears in it as Amanda enters excitedly. The image comes with sound.

Amanda- Anything? Did the school call?

Hilda- Yes sweetheart.

Amanda- Well did I get in?

Salem- In your dreams!... Sweetheart.

Robin- Nasty cat.

Sabrina- Oh you think he’s bad, keep watching. Ten to one says she’ll blow up the house.

They do keep watching and what they see is Amanda with her head slumped in her hands trying not to cry. Hilda puts comforting hands on her shoulders.

James- She’s crying!

Sabrina- (Surprised) Tears of rage, I assure you!

In the mirror.

Amanda- (To Hilda) I really liked it there. I mean it’s the first place that ever felt like home.

The image fades.

James- Amazing. Amanda’s the first student ever to cry because she didn’t get accepted.

Robin- Normally they cry because the do.

Sabrina- (Pleading) She can change, I promise!

James- Oh that wont be necessary. Any witch who’s that desperate to be here deserves a place.

Sabrina- You mean you’ll accept her?

Robin- (To James) What about the Kersberg girl?

James- Oh she’s small, we can squeeze her in. (To Sabrina) How soon can you have Amanda here?

Sabrina- Oh sooner than you can imagine.

She points at herself and in a swirl of sparkles she is replaced by Amanda.

Amanda- Just so we’re clear, I’m not sharing a room with anybody.

Int. Witchright Hall entrance hall. The doorbell rings and Sean, who’s passing, goes to get it.

Sean- Oh I’ll get it.

He opens the door to an extremely attractive young brunet.

Sean- (Cont.) Well hello.

Tiffany- Hi, my names Tiffany. I’m selling raffle tickets for my church. They’re only a dollar, are you interested?

Sean- Ha, I’m interested.

At the sliding doors behind him, Amanda and Bridgette’s faces appear watching as Sean raises his finger but resists the urge to put a spell on Tiffany. Instead he reaches into his pocket.

Sean- (Cont.) I’ll take five tickets.

Bridgette- (Aside to Amanda) I guess we’ll see if he learned anything in class.

Amanda- I don’t see why a guy who looks like that even needs magic.

He hands over his five bucks and takes the tickets from her.

Tiffany- Thank you very much.

Sean- No, thank you.

As he say it his finger points at her and once more it’s a battle of wills against his natural instinct to force it back down. When he does Tiffany begins to shrink and change for into a floppy eared mongrel.

Phil- If you want a kiss, I need dinner and a movie.

Sean- Where’s the girl?

Phil- In your sick little mind! Now give me fifty laps and take a cold shower and... I’m keepin’ the five smackeroos.

Sean- Oh man!

He sets off on his laps as Phil trots in to be met by James.

James- Well I can’t say I like your tactics very much but you made your point. However I refuse to give up on Sean.

Phil- Hexton, you’re softer than a chewed-up slipper. Which reminds me, my gums are killing me. How about that dental plan?

Run credits.



Pic of the Week