Now You See Her, Now You Don't

Int. Hickory Dickory Clock. Hilda’s minding the store as Zelda enters carrying Salem.

Hilda- I know things have been a little slow lately but I have made a decision that is gonna change our business in a profound way.

Zelda- You’re getting out of clocks and into something that makes sense?

Salem- I’ve got it! Designer cat-food?

Hilda- No and... (To Salem) fat chance tubby. I have something in the storeroom that is going to have a line of customers snaking around the block.

Int. Storeroom.

Hilda- Ta-da!

She stands before a wall that is lined with clocks. ‘But the storeroom walls are always lined with clocks’ I hear you say. Ah but not lined with tacky black ‘Kit-Cat Klock’ wall clocks with eyes that switch from side to side as the tail acts as the pendulum. Row after row cover all the walls.

Salem- Well I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say ‘Creepy!'

Zelda- Well... They’ll certainly be a... nice deduction come tax time.

Hilda- All right, I’ll give you one more chance. Salem, what do you think?

Salem- Let me be delicate. Those clocks are awful.

Hilda- Is that so?

Salem- I-I mean awful good.

But it’s too late. Hilda points and when her usual flamboyant puff of smoke clears, Salem has changed, not so, radically. He’s still a black cat with pointy ears and slitty eyes but now those eyes swing from side to side keeping time with the clock fingers on his chest. That and the fact that he’s now made of shiny, cheap plastic.

Salem- Look over there. No, over there. No, over there (Sob!) Change me back or take me to Wimbledon!

Run opening credits.

Int. Westbridge High School cafeteria. Sabrina and Dreama sit at a table together with their lunches.

Dreama- So are you buying a new dress for the Snowflake ball?

Sabrina- Nah, I’ve already got plenty that are fine for loitering awkwardly around the punch bowl, and that’s all Harvey and I ever do at those things.

Student Announcer- (Over PA) Your attention please. The finalists for the king and queen of the Snowflake ball are... Gracie Charters and Dan Kale...

A couple behind Sabrina hug excitedly.

Student Announcer- (Cont.) ...Jean Wong and Hans Tercek...

Another couple at a table smile at each other and clasp hands.

Student Announcer- (Cont.) ...and Sabrina Spellman and Harvey Kinkle.

Dreama smiles excitedly at an extremely surprised Sabrina.

Sabrina- (Dismissive) You know I’ve won lots of academic prizes but never anything as meaningless as a popularity contest... (Excitedly) Do you think Harvey and I have a shot?

Dreama- Well they say the cutest couple always wins.

Sabrina- Oh those girls are really cute.

Dreama- You and Harvey are cute too.

Sabrina- Right, we’ll just be ourselves and let the chips fall where they may... and I’ll just take the high road... but while I’m taking it, I may as well do it in a killer new dress.

Int. Hickory Dickory Clock. It’s Zelda’s turn to mind the store. Hilda enters with news.

Hilda- Zelda, I’ve got bad news.

Zelda- O-oh, Salem running five minutes fast again?

Hilda- No, I just found out that one of those gigantic Everything Emporium stores is gonna open outside of town.

Zelda- Oh one of those great discount places? They have a huge selection of clothing and appliances and... clocks!

Hilda- And I really love this place. I was hoping to struggle for a few years and... then file for chapter eleven.

Zelda- Oh Hilda, don’t over react. It’s probably just a rumour.

Hilda holds up a copy of ‘The Westbridge Daily Program’ The front page headline reads:-

Zelda- (Cont.) Do you wanna start boarding up the windows or should I?

Int. Bean there, Brewed that coffee house. Sabrina’s found a quiet minute to intercept Josh. She shows him a picture in her catalogue.

Sabrina- Hey Josh, do you think I’d look good in this dress? I mean you can’t see the outline of my liver though.

Josh- Why do women do this to themselves? Sabrina, you’re smart, you’re beautiful. Tell me, what does this girl have that you don’t?

Sabrina- You mean besides millions of dollars and an abusive rock star boyfriend?

He thumbs through the catalogue.

Josh- That’s what’s wrong with our society. You see we emphasise beauty to such a degree, it’s down right unhealthy... Hey look, a pill to stop hair loss!

Sabrina watches open mouthed as he wonders off with her catalogue reading the advert.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina enters with a new dress.

Sabrina- Hey Salem, wanna see the dress that’s gonna get me elected queen of the Snowflake ball?

Salem- Put it on but I should warn you, I can be catty.

She hangs the dress on her mirror and points at it for a quick change. The dress is a lovely off the shoulder number in a rich, shimmering ruby red. Similar in colour to her coffee house apron. It’s full in length and very figure hugging, She admires herself in her mirror.

Sabrina- It’s the only one they had, isn’t it perfect?

She turns to the side, revealing that the zipper up the side isn’t pulled up. She breathes in while tugging at the zip but to no avail.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Except for the fact that it’s one size too small.

Salem- I see, in your world perfect means doesn’t fit. Since it’s an Other Realm original, it means it can’t be altered.

Sabrina- Really? Now I know why the Other Realm trails behind Paris as the fashion capital. Okay, well if I can’t alter the dress, I’ll alter myself, I’ll diet. I’ve never done it before but how hard can it be?

Salem- Yeah, the fact that weight loss products comprise a billion dollar industry is probably just a funny coincidence.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina comes down stairs with her book bag over her shoulder.

Zelda- Good morning Sabrina, how would you like your eggs?

Sabrina- Oh as far away from me as possible. I’m on a diet so I can fit in my new dress and be elected queen of the Snowflake ball.

Zelda- Hmm, and if you can go down two dress sizes you can get into an Ivy League school. You’re fine just the way you are.

Sabrina- Fine? Harvey and I are competing with two other really cute couples. Fine is gonna come in third.

Zelda- Well at least let me give you one of these whole-grain muffins?

She looks at the plate full of muffins. They do look tasty.

Zelda- (Cont.) Oh come on, think of chewing as an aerobic exercise.

Sabrina takes a muffin and leaves.

Ext. Spellman back porch. Sabrina comes out with her muffin.

Sabrina- Ugh! Just holding this muffins making me feel bloated.

She tosses it into the trash-can and heads off for school. A furry black face emerges from the trash in the can with a muffin in it’s jaws.

Salem- (Chewing) One mans trash baby!

Ext. The Everything Emporium World Headquarters. A mass protest is underway comprising of aunt Hilda, a placard reading ‘Everything Emporium is an Evil Emporium’ a megaphone and two boxes of over-ripe fruit.

Hilda- (Through Megaphone) One, two, three, four.
Their prices are low but their morals are lower.

No-one takes any notice of her except her sister.

Zelda- Well once again you’re overreacting.

Hilda- (Through Megaphone) Overreacting gets results. (Without Megaphone) I am simply exercising my right to free speech.

Zelda- U-hu, and the rotten fruit?

Hilda- Visual aids.

Zelda- Hilda, I’ve made an appointment for you with the president of the Everything Emporium to sit down and discuss the matter. If you’d like to try the mature approach?

Hilda- Fine, I just hope I can return that cow manure.

Int. Westbridge High School cafeteria. Sabrina and Harvey select condiments from the trays for their lunches. Harvey’s lunch comprises two burgers and large fries with milk shake and chocolate sundae for pudding. Sabrina’s consists of four carrot sticks and a glass of water.

Sabrina- What are the odds that the cafeteria would have the bacon, cheese burgers and the chocolate sundaes on the same day?

Harvey- I know, it’s like winning the lottery. Did you misplace your entrée?

Sabrina- No, I’m trying to lose weight so I can fit in my new dress. The dress that’s gonna make us a lock for king and queen.

Harvey- Good, so we’re both doing our part.

Sabrina- What’s yours, eating like Henry the eighth?

Harvey- Don’t pretend that you haven’t noticed my mustache?

She squints at his smooth upper lip.

Sabrina- Oh I see it...

Then reaches out to feel it.

Sabrina- (Cont.) No, that’s just a shadow.

Harvey gets stuck into his lunch looking disappointed.

Int. History class. Mrs. Quick walks between the desks handing out papers. There’s a strange sound coming from somewhere.

Dreama- Does anyone else hear that strange buzzing sound?

Mrs. Quick- Yeah, like the low hum of an incoming ‘B’ fifty-two. Are we at war?

The sound turns to a gurgle and Sabrina clutches at her stomach to try and stifle it, unsuccessfully.

Sabrina- Oh y’know, I think it’s that darned sophomore with the deviated septum. He must have closed his mouth again.

Mrs. Quick- Sabrina, could you come up here?

She gets up and follows Mrs. Quick to the front of the class. Mrs. Quick opens a drawer in her desk.

Mrs. Quick- (Whispering) I think I might have an ant-acid.

Sabrina- What flavour? Can I have two?

Mrs. Quick- I only carry the essentials.

She pulls a large fold up tackle box from the drawer and opens it up. The essentials comprise of a complete pharmacopoeia that any emergency ward would be delighted to own. She inspects the contents.

Mrs. Quick- Let’s see? No, that ones for leprosy.

Int. The Everything Emporium World Headquarters. Presidents office. Hilda’s dressed in a business suit for her business meeting.

Hilda- So thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me.

The president however is more casual. He wears a track-suit and running shoes as he walks on his tread-mill.

President- Hand me that towel will ya?

The phone rings as she does his bidding. He answers it without slowing his pace.

President- (Down phone) What?! Fire him.

He puts the phone down.

Hilda- You’re son?

President- He’s not a closer.

He mops the sweat from his face and throws the towel back to Hilda who looks suitably disgusted.

Hilda- Anyway, I hoped, if I could tell you what a wonderful place my clock shop is, you would find it in your heart to spare it.

President- Ha-ha-ha! Th-that’s a good one. Ha-ha! Spare it? Oh who sent ya in here huh? Arty? You’re serious aren’t ya? You really think there’s anything you could tell me to keep me from squashing you like a bug?

Hilda- We’ve put a lot of effort into our selection of time-pieces.

President- Oh well, in that case I’ll tell ya what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna count all the way to three before I call security.

Hilda- Before I go, could I just make one-little-point?

Her point is directly at the president who disappears in a puff of smoke. Only he doesn’t. Hilda watches the small cockroach scurry along the tread-mill and laughs as it falls of the end.

Hilda- (Cont.) Oh look who’s been down-sized.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina reads the sorry news from her bathroom scales.

Sabrina- This stinks! I’ve been dieting for a whole half a day and I haven’t even lost a pound.

Salem- Sabrina, I’ve found that the key to losing weight is eating the right foods.

Sabrina- Who are you channelling? The other day I saw you putting sugar on bacon.

Salem- Lean bacon.

She sits on the bed with her magic book.

Sabrina- There’s gotta be something in here that’ll help me fit in my dress. Hey! Look at this add. (Reading) ‘Thanks to ‘Blubber Be-Gone’ I lost fifty pounds in three days’

Salem- That’s ridiculous. What’d he do, lop off a leg?

Sabrina- Here goes, ‘Thin my thighs, lose my roll. Make skinnier than Manny Paul

She points to activate the spell and a salesman from ‘Blubber Be-Gone’ leaps from the magic book.

Salesman- Oh, I see you called me in the nick of time.

Sabrina- I did?

Salesman- Losing weight the ‘Blubber Be-Gone’ way is easy. Whenever you’re hungry, instead of eating food just mix yourself a shake.

He pulls a glass and a sachet from his sample bag and pours the powdered contents of the sachet into the glass. A point and the shake is ready. He hands it to Sabrina.

Salesman- (Cont.) Taste?

She does.

Sabrina- Not bad, Although I still prefer Ipacac.

The smiling salesman hands her a handful of sachets in different flavours.

Salem- ‘Scuss me but I think we’ve met before. Weren’t you selling that ‘Turn your eye gunk into gold’ kit a couple of years ago?

Salesman- No, That must have been my brother. (To Sabrina) Happy dieting.

He points at himself and is quickly gone.

Sabrina- This is great! I’m gonna lose weight. I’m gonna look fantastic in my new, special dress and I’ll be elected queen of the ball.

Salem- Right... and one of these days my pink eyes gonna pay off big.

Int. The Everything Emporium World Headquarters. Presidents office. A cockroach scurries across the plush carpet with the shadow of it’s destruction hanging over it.

Hilda- Oh-no! Woman’s pump at ten o’clock!

She stamps down just an inch or so from the bug.

Hilda- (Cont.) Oh so how does it feel to be the little guy?

She stamps again, missing it by an antenna.

Hilda- (Cont.) What’s that? Earthquake!

She jumps repeatedly after it making it bounce from the carpet.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina finishes her shake grimacing and puts down the glass.

Sabrina- Bleuch! And now for the moment of truth.

She takes down the dress and puts it on. The zipper slips up easily and she’s delighted.

Sabrina- (Cont.) It fits! The shakes worked!

The smarmy salesman arrives with his smarmy smile.

Salesman- Hi there, I thought you might like to try our new flavours. ‘Gaunty Grape’ and ‘Lean, Mean Nectarine’

He mixes a glass of each for her to try.

Sabrina- Thanks but I lost all the weight I had to, I don’t need anymore shakes.

Salesman- You really think so?

Sabrina looks down at herself in her shimmering, figure hugging, satin dress. While she’s not looking he points at her mirror.

Sabrina- You guys must work on commission, As you can plainly see I...

As she was talking she turned to look at herself in her mirror. The fat bloated butter-ball that looks back is horrified.

Sabrina- (Cont.) ...Look awful! I’ll take two cases. Quick, before the firemen have to come cut me out of my bedroom!

Int. Spellman dinning room. Zelda sits at the table in front of the lab-top. Hilda sits with a cup of coffee.

Zelda- Hey by the way, How did your meeting go with the president of Everything Emporium?

Hilda- Not bad. At first it wasn’t going well but then he had a... metamorphosis.

Zelda- Either you’re up to something or... No that’s it, you’re up to something.

Int. Bean there, Brewed that coffee house. Sabrina takes a shake brake. Her sweater and jeans hang loose from her skinny frame. Josh comes through from the back with a tray.

Josh- Hmm, Sabrina you’ve got to try these croissants, they’re just like grandma used to make. Well not my grandma but someone’s grandma who knew how to bake.

Sabrina- No thanks, I had a raisin earlier and boy am I stuffed.

She tugs her jeans up as they’re in danger of slipping over her hips.

Josh- Sabrina you’re looking awfully skinny, you’re not still on that diet are you?

Sabrina- Me? No I’m fine! Hey do I see a little scalp up there?

It’s enough to distract him.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Zelda enters with the laundry basket and as she puts it down happens to glance round. She’s confronted by the butt from hell in Sabrina’s mirror.

Zelda- (Gasp!) Don’t tell me I’ve inherited the Spellman gene for a kiester the size of Manhattan?

She drags her eyes from the mirror and twists round to inspect her butt from above.

Zelda- (Relieved) Oh, I knew it, it was just some sort of spell... and yet the insecurity about my butt wont go away.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina, the teenage waif comes home from work hiking up her trousers with a sigh.

Sabrina- I think it’s time to bring back suspenders.

Zelda- Sabrina, we have to talk.

Sabrina- Oh well I only have a little while before Harvey picks me up for the dance and your stern lectures tend to eat up the clock.

She’s holds up an empty ‘Gaunty Grape’ sachet.

Zelda- Not only are these things a scam but they can cause serious side effects.

Sabrina- But I have to lose weight!

Zelda- Like making you think you have to lose weight. Come here, look in the mirror.

Sabrina- No! Not the mirror! It’s so cruel and unforgiving!

Zelda- Not anymore. That creepy salesman put a spell on it but I deactivated it. see?

Sabrina looks at herself in the mirror and sees herself as she really is. A girl too skinny for her own clothes, a lass in need of a lard sandwich, a girl in danger of becoming a super-model... except she’s too short.

Sabrina- What are you talking about? It’s like looking at a picture William Howard Taft!

Zelda- Oh-no! All this dieting has affected you psychologically. You can’t see that you’re so thin you’re practically sick.

Sabrina- Oh well what good is my health if I’m not queen?

Zelda- No more shakes!

Sabrina- Fine! Force me to live with this obscene obesity!

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina’s ready for bed.

Sabrina- Y’know aunt Zelda’s so unfair.

Salem- I know it seems unfair now but some day when you’re older and wiser you’ll be able to look back on all this... and get revenge.

As she puts away her book-bag something drops from it. She bends and picks it up. It’s a shake sachet.

Sabrina- Hey, one more shake wouldn’t hurt and it’d be wrong to waste perfectly good guagum.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda reads the paper as Hilda enters.

Zelda- Hilda.

Hilda stops as she’s passing and looks at the paper over Zelda’s shoulder.

Zelda- (Cont.) Here’s an interesting news item. (Reading) ‘Everything Emporium president missing’

Hilda- (Reading) Oh look, Larry King likes the new Ludlum novel.

Zelda- Did you have anything to do with this?

Hilda- No, Robert Ludlum has his own publicist.

Zelda looks at her sister and taps the rolled up paper in her hand while Hilda continues unpacking her grocery.

Hilda- (Cont.) Oh you mean the Everything Emporium president? Yes. He was bugging me so I turned him into one. Ginger-beer?

Zelda- A bug?! Hilda you’ve got to change him back.

Hilda- He is in a perfectly humane situation.

She waves her finger in the air.

Hilda- (Cont.) Now that I gave him air-holes.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina enters rubbing herself dry from the shower with a bath towel.

Sabrina- I wonder if that last milkshake made any difference? I certainly feel lighter.

She inspects herself in her mirror. Nothings changed. Damp, blonde hair falls around her face above the same cute little body. Yep everything’s as it should be except she’s not there. The towel floats in apparent thin air.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Salem help! I’ve disappeared!

Salem- I’m so sorry. Hey, twirl me around so it looks like I’m flying.

Sabrina- What’s happened?! Where am I?

Salem- You’ve dieted until you’ve disappeared. Now I’m starting to wonder if you can be too rich?

The magic book opens as if by magic and the pages turn.

Sabrina- There has to be a potion in here somewhere.

Salem- You need an Other Realm camera. Everyone knows those cameras add a hundred pounds.

The door bell rings.

Sabrina- That’s Harvey! Order me a camera... Now!

Ext. Spellman front porch. Bond, James Bond is at the door. He rings the bell again. Oops, my mistake. It’s Harvey in his tux but anyone would make that mistake... from the back.

Harvey- Come on Sabrina, we’re not gonna be able to vote for ourselves if we’re late.

Int. Spellman living room. The front door opens mysteriously by itself. Harvey enters with a frown.

Harvey- A self opening door? Cool. Not very safe but cool.

He looks round hearing hurried footsteps on the stairs. But there’s no-one there.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Invisible Sabrina enters.

Sabrina- Has the camera arrived yet?

There’s a flash in front of Salem on the bed and a bulky camera arrives covered in bits of glitter and sporting two high powered flashes.

Salem- Yes.

Sabrina- Finally, hurry up and take my picture.

Salem points the camera at the spot where the voice is coming from and presses the button with his paw. A bright flash and Sabrina’s back.

Salem- Can we take another one? I think your eyes were closed.

She doesn’t bother to answer. She has more important things to worry about. Like not being ready unless of course she’s decided against the killer new dress and gone for the fluffy slippers and dressing gown look.

Int. Spellman living room. Harvey’s getting a little impatient. What with the bow-tie chafing.

Harvey- (Calling upstairs) Sabrina! I’m down here when your ready!... And sorry to anyone I woke up!

Sabrina- (OS)(Calling back) I’ll be right there!

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. No woman can get ready that quick. No woman who isn’t a witch anyway. The dress looks sensational with matching pumps. Her hair is up at the front and allowed to tumble freely about her bare shoulders at the back. I nice word to sum it up is ‘Wow!’

Sabrina- Okay, everything’s gonna be fine.

She flickers in and out of sight.

Sabrina- (Cont.) O-oh!

Salem- D’you think that happened because we didn’t use name brand film?

Sabrina picks up the warranty card that came with the camera.

Sabrina- (Reading) Look, it says the camera only brings you back for a few minutes! So much for ‘Take a picture, it’ll last longer’

Salem- (Reading) And you’ll start to flicker whenever you’re about to disappear.

Sabrina flickers and disappears.

Salem- (Cont.) Like that.

Sabrina- Quick! Take another picture.

Salem- Okay, this time I wanna get a little more creative. You got a wind machine handy?

Sabrina- Just shoot me.

Salem- Aw-aw.

Flash! Sabrina's back.

Sabrina- Great, I'm going to have to take the camera to the dance with me and keep having my picture taken.

Salem- But don't let anyone else in the picture. If people aren't flickering out, they'll gain a hundred pounds.

Sabrina- And to think I used to complain when I got a run in my stockings.

She slings the heavy camera over her shoulder and leaves.

Int. Hickory Dickory Clock. Evening. Hilda and Zelda enter. Hilda goes over to the counter and picks up a jar.

Hilda- I keep him in a little glass jar which I refer to as Oz.

The jar is empty.

Hilda- (Cont.) O-oh! Jailbreak!

Zelda- You lost him?! Oh perfect. Thanks to your overreacting I get to spend my Friday night looking for a cockroach with my sister.

Hilda- Oh come on, this is the stuff that keeps us young. Oh! I think I see a dropping.

Int. Harvey’s car. Sabrina fastens her seat belt. the camera is on the dash.

Harvey- You look terrific.

Sabrina- D’you think so? Because this is more of a standing up dress than a sitting down dress. I thought we’d be standing up more. It’s too bad your car doesn’t have a sun-roof.

Harvey- ...You look terrific. So what’s up with the camera?

Sabrina- Oh you know I wanted to er preserve the memories of our big night.

She flickers and vanishes. Fortunately while Harvey is checking his wing mirror before setting off.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Er did you drop your left cuff-link?

While he’s busy checking, the camera flashes and Sabrina’s back.

Harvey- What was that?

Sabrina- (Looking at the sky) Northern lights?

Int. Westbridge High School gym. It’s decked out for the snowflake ball with... snowflakes. Huge, plastic ones. Guys in tuxedos dance with girls in gowns or hang by the punch bowl. Sabrina and Harvey along with Dreama and her date are among the dancers. Sabrina’s a little hampered in her movements by the heavy camera.

Dreama- Sabrina, that dress is fantastic.

Sabrina- Really? You don’t think it makes me look too hippy?

As she dances she flickers. Harvey sees it.

Harvey- My eyes are acting weird.

Sabrina- Oh... I er saw something about that on ‘Twenty-Twenty’ The best thing to do is keep them closed.

He closes his eyes and Sabrina quickly grabs the nearest student.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Hey, will you take my picture!

Girl- Sure.

She takes the camera and holds it to her eye as Sabrina steps back.

Girl- (Cont.) Smile.

Sabrina suddenly notices that Harvey has reopened his eyes and is slipping his arm around her waist and smiling for the picture.

Sabrina- Oh-no! Harvey!

She shoves him away just as the flash goes off. He looks at her hurt.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Sorry, you’re eyes always come out red.

She takes back the camera and continues to dance.

Int. Hickory Dickory Clock. Something crawls across the floor of the shop. It’s Hilda on her hands and knees. Zelda’s doing the same with her head under a display stand. She comes out.

Zelda- Oh! Got him!

Hilda- No, that’s a real roach.

Zelda- Eeek! Oooooo!

She throws it away cringing. They both climb to their feet.

Zelda- (Cont.) Wait a minute. I know exactly what we need.

She points at the counter.

Hilda- A roach motel? Zelda, this guys a captain of industry. There’s no way he’d stay at a motel.

Zelda- Okay, fine.

She points again and the small box becomes a small four story hotel complete with pool, palm trees and golf course.

Zelda- The Roach Carlton.

Hilda- Nice, except for the faint smell of boric acid, I’d give it four stars.

Int. Westbridge High School Snowflake ball. Sabrina’s having a great time, or she would be if she didn’t have a full time job on her hands getting her picture taken. Another student takes aim with her camera.

Boy- I’ve never seen a camera like this before.

Sabrina- Just push the button Avidon.

Mrs. Quick just loves to gather memories and when she sees the student take aim with the camera she can’t resist. She jumps right into the frame with Sabrina and a wide smile.

Mrs. Quick- A picture!

Sabrina- Mrs. Quick no!

Flash! Too late.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Mrs. Quick, we’ve gotta get you out of here.

She ushers Mrs Quick quickly from the gym forgetting all about her camera in her haste.

Int. School hallway.

Sabrina- Now don’t get too upset okay. There’s gotta be a simple explanation.

Though what it’s going to be that’ll explain the extra hundred pounds of Mrs. Quick that has turned her into the Goodyear blimp and torn her evening gown to ribbons is beyond Sabrina. Fortunately Mrs. Quick has her own explanation.

Mrs. Quick- It’s a bee sting isn’t it?

Sabrina- Okay.

Mrs. Quick- I thought I heard buzzing earlier but I attributed it to my tenitis.

Student Announcer- (Over PA) The next dance is for our king and queen nominees and then it’s time for everyone to vote.

Sabrina- Mrs. Quick don’t panic okay. We’re gonna rush you to the hospital. The doctor’s are gonna take care of you, everything’ll be fine. I just need one minute.

She dashes back to the gym.

Int. Hickory Dickory Clock. The Roach Carlton has done the trick.

Hilda- Got him! I knew he couldn’t resist that thumb-nail sized Tobleron.

Zelda- Thank goodness. Zap him back so we can go home.

Hilda- Right... but first a little good natured torture.

Zelda- Hilda!

She puts the president roach down on the counter and zaps him with her usual billow of smoke. He returns to his normal shape and size lying on his back with his feet in the air.

President- Where am I?

Zelda- Um... We found you wandering out in the street. I-I think you might have hit your head. Do you feel all right?

Hilda- Do you perhaps feel like you now understand what it’s like to be the little guy? In constant fear of un-feeling giants?

President- No! I feel strong. In fact I-I feel like I could withstand a nuclear holocaust!

Hilda- I suppose this means you’re gonna go ahead and build your Everything Emporium now.

President- What?! I’m gonna climb Mount Everest, bike across Death Valley, I’m gonna eat my weight in garbage! Why would I want to waste my indestructibleness on business?

Hilda- (To Zelda) See?! I told you overreacting would work!

Int. Westbridge High School Snowflake ball. Harvey and Sabrina dance the nominees dance cheek to cheek.

Sabrina- Harvey, stop fidgeting. Try and look like we’re having a good time.

Harvey- I feel like all we’re being judged on is how we look.

Sabrina- How do I look?

Harvey- Gorgeous, will you stop asking me that?

Sabrina- Stop yelling at me. Nobody’s gonna vote for us if it looks like we’re fighting, but do I really look okay?

Harvey looks to the heavens.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s just dance.

She flickers while Harvey’s still looking away.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Gotta go!

She dashes off leaving Harvey looking and feeling a little foolish on the dance floor. She finds Dreama at the buffet table.

Sabrina- Dreama! Have you seen my camera?

Dreama- No, but you can use mine.

Sabrina flickers again and vanishes.

Sabrina- Look for it please!

Dreama- Something tells me this about more than a camera.

Int. The Everything Emporium World Headquarters. Presidents office. Hilda, Zelda and the president enter. The office is dark.

President- Thank you for helping me back here.

Zelda- My pleasure.

President- I-I was feeling a little disoriented. Ooow! I wonder if I could scurry up those curtains?

He goes to investigate the possibilities.

Zelda- Come on Hilda, let’s go.

Hilda- Call the elevator, I’ll be right there.

Zelda leaves and Hilda turns on the light switch with wicked relish. When the office lights come on the president drops to all fours and scampers under his desk. Smiling Hilda turns the lights off and then back on. Laughing as the president scurries behind the settee. Zelda returns to find Hilda enjoying her little game.

Zelda- I’m beginning to think you have a problem.

Int. Westbridge High School Snowflake ball. It’s announcement time and a student stands at the microphone on the stage with the all important envelope.

Student Announcer- And now the moment everyone’s been waiting for. The king and queen of this years Snowflake ball are...

He opens the envelope.

Student Announcer- (Reading) Harvey Kinkle and Sabrina Spellman!

The people applaud as the spotlight swings round to settle on Harvey. He looks around for his other half but there’s no sign of her.

Harvey- Sabrina? And I thought dancing alone was embarrassing. I can't believe she's missing this.

He makes his way onto the stage and stands nervously before the microphone.

Harvey- Hello. Um I’m really grateful for the honour and all but... since Sabrina’s disappeared maybe you guys should pick somebody else.

Sabrina- No!

Everyone looks round but sees no-one. Dreama slips back to where the mystery voice came from.

Dreama- (Whispering) Sabrina?

Sabrina- Aw! My foot!

Dreama hops back a pace.

Dreama- Sorry.

Sabrina- Dreama do me a favour. Go on stage and stall them until I can find the camera would you?

Dreama- Okay but only because people are starting to think I’m talking to myself.

She heads for the stage.

Sabrina- (Thinking) Here I am in my moment of glory and no-one can see me. Too bad I’m not a bigger fan of irony.

She passes some students talking.

Girl- She’s really level head and pretty down to earth.

Sabrina- (Thinking) Is that girl talking about me?

Boy- Yeah, I voted for Sabrina too. I mean she’s nice and she definitely doesn’t follow the pack.

Sabrina- (Thinking) Great! I dieted until I became invisible and spent a load of money on a dress and they voted for me because I don’t normally do that!

In her searching for the camera she’s reached the doors and suddenly she flashes back into being.

Sabrina- I’m back! All I needed to restore myself was a little self esteem, and I definitely don’t need to diet. In fact if I don’t eat something I’m gonna keel over.

She heads for the buffet table and grabs the nearest cookie before remembering something important.

Sabrina- <Gasp!> Mrs. Quick!

Int. School hallway. She finds Mrs. Quick pretty much where she left her. The teachers dress is a tattered mess but the lady herself is back to her more normal size. Sabrina finds her a robe to wear.

Sabrina- Sorry about your dress.

Mrs. Quick- Oh that’s okay. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll keep this for the next time I swell up. It happens fairly often.

Sabrina- Well the good news is we didn’t have to go to the emergency room.

Mrs. Quick- Yeah I suppose you’re right, although a part of me was looking forward to all the excitement.

Int. The Snowflake ball. Dreama’s still on stage in stall mode.

Dreama- And now my personal favourite. Mr. Bunny Rabbit.

She holds her hands up together in the spotlight and throws the little bunny shadow on the big white snowflake behind her. The crowd groan and boo her as Sabrina slips up beside Harvey.

Harvey- Hey! Where have you been?

Sabrina- Awash in social pressure but I’m back, and I’ve got something I’m gonna say.

Harvey- Whoa! Don’t tell the story about the two priests on the golf course ‘cause Dreama already did that.

Dreama- (Offended) It got a laugh!

Sabrina takes over from Dreama at the microphone.

Sabrina- I just wanna say that I learned an important lesson tonight. I realised that what a person looks like on the outside doesn’t matter half as much as what she’s like on the inside.

Mrs. Quick finds something.

Mrs. Quick- (To herself) I think this belongs to Sabrina... or Alan Carr.

Sabrina- Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for hygiene and grooming but thanks to you I’ll be keeping it all in perspective.

The students applaud and Sabrina gives a little curtsy grinning from ear to ear.

Mrs. Quick- (To herself) This is a moment she’ll never want to forget. (Calling) Say cheese!

Sabrina- Mrs. Quick no!

Flash!

Int. Spellman living room. Harvey explains things to Hilda while an upset Mrs. Quick fingers Sabrina’s beautiful and tattered and torn killer new dress.

Harvey- So there we were, receiving our crowns when suddenly Sabrina ballooned out. She was huge!

Run Credits

Mrs. Quick- At this time we think a rogue bee may have been the cause.

She shows Hilda the remains of the dress.

Hilda- Wow!

Harvey- I hope she wasn’t planning to wear it to the prom.

Hilda- Well I’m sure Sabrina will be fine. Thanks for bringing her home.

She shows them to the door. Mrs. Quick and Harvey leave.

Sabrina- (OS) Is the coast clear?

Hilda signals the all clear and Zelda and Sabrina come down stairs. Sabrina back to normal size.

Sabrina- Oh, I’ve learned my lesson. I’m never starving myself again.

Zelda- Honey just remember, if you just eat right and get regular exercise you’ll never have a problem.

Salem raises his head from the tray of sticky-buns on the sideboard.

Salem- Hmm, it’s always worked for me. Are there any more apple delights?