Jealousy

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina is on the phone.

Sabrina- We need an article about the basketball squad and you’re just the guy to write it Harvey... Don’t worry, it’ll be fun.

Salem- (Imitating) It’ll be fun. I need to use the phone, wrap it up lady.

Sabrina- Oh that’s just our lonely, crazy neighbour. He came over to borrow more tin-foil for his hat.

Salem- Hgeh?

Sabrina- I’ll talk to you at school.

She hangs up just as Zelda enters and as soon as the phone is put down Zelda picks it up.

Salem- Hey! It’s my turn! This isn’t fair.

Zelda- Write a letter to Peter. (On the phone) Yes, I’d like to order a dozen long stemmed roses for principle Willard Kraft at Westbridge High School...

Sabrina and Salem look at each other and pull a yuck face.

Zelda- (Cont. Still on the phone) Yes, I’ve met him!

She turns off the phone.

Salem- Roses? Did he die?

Zelda- I just like him.

Salem- That’s a shame now that he’s passed on. Well enough of the boo-hoo, pass me the phone.

Zelda puts the phone down beside Salem just as Hilda walks in. She grabs it almost before it’s hit the counter.

Salem- Hey!

Sabrina- Why are you so anxious to talk on the phone anyway?

Salem- I need to call in to Nick Bakay’s sports show on ESPN radio. All he ever talks about is the Buffalo Bill’s and his voice... Lord is it annoying.

Sabrina- Well I’m sure whatever aunt Hilda’s talking about is much more important than that.

Hilda- (On the phone) Yes, I would like to reserve a floor-buffer... Great! Chow.

She puts the phone down beside Salem.

Salem- Finally. I tell you, I’m sick of being the only guy in a house full o’ hens.

Hilda- Oh!

Zelda- Hey!

Sabrina- Ooo, that’s gonna cost ya.

She points and Salem sprouts long, curly, blonde hair, a diamante collar and a sparkling pink dress with pink ostrich trim.

Salem- Nguh! Oh turn me back! Turn me back!

Run opening credits.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda working on her laptop when Hilda comes down stairs.

Hilda- The Other Realm announced that they’ll pay cash money for each empty potion bottle. Got any?

Zelda- I have this strange ritual I perform with empty things. I throw them away.

Hilda- Well I’m sure there are some in the basement. I mean if there’s half as much glassware as mouse droppings, this witch is Aruba bound.

Sabrina comes down stairs.

Sabrina- Why is it that as soon as I get out all my Winter clothes we suddenly get stupid Indian Summer?

Hilda- I believe the correct term is ‘stupid native American Summer’

Sabrina- You’re going to get a break with this unseasonably warm weather Sabrina. Brad’s witch-hunting gene will be dormant.

Hilda- Yeah, besides the fact that you’ll be wearing wool during a heatwave, it should be an easy week.

Zelda- Sabrina, you’ve got mail.

She hands over the laptop.

Sabrina- Maybe Valerie finally tore herself away from her new friends to write me. Oh great! Mr. Kraft just gave me detention over the computer!

Zelda- What did you do?

Sabrina- Breath.

Zelda- You know something has been bothering Willard lately. I think I’m going to have him over for lunch today. Maybe some tuna salad and coleslaw will help him reveal his true feelings.

Hilda- And I will happily take refuge in the damp squalor we call a basement.

Sabrina- You know aunt Zelda, I think it’s a great idea to have Mr. Kraft over for lunch. That’ll be forty-five minutes when he can’t make my life miserable.

She grabs her book bag and heads out to school.

Zelda- (To herself) He’s always nice to me.

Int. Westbridge High School hallway. Sabrina and Harvey walk together.

Harvey- So, have you heard from Valerie?

Sabrina- Yeah, she’s doing great. Apperantly Disneyland isn’t the happiest place on earth; Anchorage is.

Harvey- Well don’t tell the people in Juneau. Hey, I decided to do that sports article for you.

Sabrina- Let’s talk money. There is none.

Harvey- You’ve got yourself a deal, except that I’m going to need some help writing it.

Sabrina- Oh, I’ll be glad to help. It’ll be fun and it’ll take my mind off Valerie.

Harvey- But I already asked Brad to help me.

Sabrina- What?

Harvey- Don’t worry, he’s a great writer. He won a contest in the second grade.

Sabrina- Oh well maybe you can fit his trip to grandma’s into the article.

Talk of the devil and he’s there.

Brad- Wassup guys? Hey son, did you tell her about my idea yet?

Harvey- Brad thinks we should interview the towel-boys, promise anonymity and get a real inside look at the team.

Sabrina- Ah that’s an interesting idea. (Under her breath) Unfortunately.

Harvey- (To Brad) We’re on it.

And they’re off leaving Sabrina feeling a little fed up at being left out. She pouts and stamps her foot. Mr. Kraft sees the boys go off together and comes over with his own brand of sympathy.

Mr. Kraft- What’s that saying, ‘Two’s company; Three’s pathetic’?

With a happy smile he leaves.

Sabrina- (To herself) Whenever Mr. Kraft talks, he spews verbal anthrax.

She smiles, pleased at her own witticism.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Valerie would have loved that line... and I wouldn’t be talking to myself right now.

Int. Spellman dining room. Zelda and Mr. Kraft do lunch.

Zelda- Wasn’t this a nice idea? You get a home cooked lunch and we get a chance to... talk.

Mr. Kraft- What is this? The inquisition?

Zelda- Look Willard, I know something’s been bothering you.

Mr. Kraft- Whoa-ho-ho! Look at the time, I’ve gotta run. Those kids don’t yell at themselves.

He gets up, tosses his napkin down, kisses the top of Zelda’s head and heads for the door. Zelda follows.

Zelda- Well at least let me put a sandwich in a bag for you.

Mr. Kraft- Well I do love tuna.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Hilda’s sorting through the empty potion bottles she’s found in the basement when Zelda comes through with the tray of sandwiches.

Zelda- I can’t get Willard to talk.

Hilda- You’ve done wonders with him.

Zelda- D’ya think I should cast an honest and vulnerable spell?

Hilda- Yes, it’ll make his feelings as open as his mouth is when he’s chewing.

Zelda- I’ll do it.

Int. Spellman dining room. Zelda returns with Mr. Kraft’s bagged Sandwich.

Zelda- Here’s your sandwich.

Mr. Kraft- Mmm, thank you. Gotta run.

He breaks for the door.

Zelda- Are you sure you don’t wanna tell me what’s been bothering you?

As she finishes the sentence she points at his rapidly disappearing back. He turns at the front door.

Mr. Kraft- It’s Wally.

Zelda- Wally?

Mr. Kraft- My brother. Sure, I got the good name but he got everything else. Good looks, charm, a personality. Now he’s coming to visit.

Zelda- What, so you’ll put up with him for a few days and then say goodbye to perfect Pete.

Mr. Kraft- No, it’s Wally. You don’t understand, He's stolen every girlfriend I’ve ever had and many that I’ve just claimed to have.

Zelda- Oh Willard, you’re not worried?

Mr. Kraft- Oh it’s just you’re so breathtakingly beautiful, he’s gonna wanna steal you.

Zelda- Oh you’re so vulnerable, and so honest.

She loving this spell and pats his hand as he lays his head against her arm.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda enters with a big smile on her face.

Hilda- How did it go?

Zelda- Wonderfully.

Hilda- Did you remove the spell?

Zelda- No, I like him honest and vulnerable. Besides, what can it hurt?

Int. Westbridge High School cafeteria.

Mr. Kraft- And sometimes, when I sleep at night, I am so consumed with self doubt that I suck my thumb.

He leaves.

Sabrina- Okay, this is new. Getting sick before lunch.

She and Harvey sit at a spare table.

Harvey- Oh hey, Brad and I are having a blast with that article. Thanks for making me do it.

Sabrina- Sure, anything to bring you and Brad closer together.

She does well to get the words out without grinding her teeth.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Salem’s sat on Sabrina’s bed while she sits at her desk reading.

Salem- I-If that’s my novel, ha-ha, the character ‘Tabrina’ is really a composite.

Sabrina- This is Harvey and Brad’s article. It took them all of home-room to write it, so you know it’s gotta be good.

Salem- Hey! Leave the sarcasm to the professionals.

Sabrina- Y’know, I really should be supportive of Harvey and give Brad the benefit of the doubt... but I bet this article really bites.

Later. Sabrina’s coming to the end of the article looking like something just bit her and Salem’s sat beside her reading over her shoulder and laughing.

Salem- Ha-ha-ha! Oh man! I haven’t read sports writing this good since the glory days of Jimmy Cann.

Sabrina- And what would you know? So the phrases are witty and the metaphors are imaginative, it’s still bad writing.

Salem- Yeah, Pulitzer bad.

Sabrina glares at her cat tight lipid as Salem chuckles afresh.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda’s on the phone.

Zelda- Fine Monkey.

She puts the phone down as Hilda comes in with another box of empty bottles.

Zelda- So, it’s settled. Willard and his brother are coming to dinner and I’m going to show him that I’m immuned to Wally’s charms.

Hilda- To bad you’re not immuned to Willard.

Zelda- My, but you have found a lot of empty potion bottles.

Hilda- Not really, suddenly I remembered we’re witches. One point and we’ve got more empties than Boris Yeltsin’s trash-can.

Zelda- Hilda!

The toaster pings and a lightly browned message pops up from the Other Realm. Zelda plucks it from the household appliance.

Zelda- (Reading) ‘Attention! Redeeming magically reproduced bottles will result in a heavy fine and unreachable itching.' Good.

Hilda- Does big brother never sleep?

The toaster pings. Zelda retrieves the message.

Zelda- (Reading) ‘No.’ So do you wanna join us for dinner?

Hilda- No thanks, I’d rather wade through ankle deep dust and breath bacteria laden spores than eat with two Kraft’s.

Zelda- So you’ll be in the basement?

Hilda- Until I can afford Aruba.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. They are still discussing Harvey and Brad’s article, only the discussion has spread to a wider forum.

Salem- Oh, for Pete’s sake!

Sabrina- No, if you won’t respect my opinion that this writing is garbage then maybe you’ll believe some professionals. Mr. Twain?

Mark Twain- Quite amusing.

Sabrina- Oh stop breathing steamboat fumes.

William Shakespeare- This essay is the thing.

Sabrina- Oh like you really wrote any of your own plays.

Salem- Miss Dickinson?

Emily Dickinson- This shows real talent.

Sabrina- Shut in.

She whirls her finger angrily and the panel of experts vanish. Hubble bubble something’s bubbling and Sabrina clutches her stomach.

Salem- U-oh! It sounds like you’re making the sound that witches make when jealousy is percolating.

Sabrina- I am not jealous! I mean just because Harvey has a new best friend who he likes more than me and his new best friend is more talented than I am and my old best friend is in Alaska with her new best friend, big deal!

Bubble, gurgle, rumble. The stomach noises go on.

Salem- I thought I was your best friend?

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda’s preparing dinner for Mr. Kraft and his brother when Sabrina enters. Gurgle, blubba, bubble, boble.

Zelda- Sabrina, are you percolating with jealousy?

Sabrina- No, I’m... bubbling over with ideas.

Zelda- You have to be careful honey, you could develop Jealitosis. A condition where jealousy gets out of control.

Sabrina- Well that doesn’t sound very good.

Zelda- You can fight it. All you have to do is be very happy for the person you’re jealous of.

Sabrina- So you’re saying I have to accept the fact that Harvey has a new best friend and be happy for him. I can do that, I can be happy for him.

Zelda- Well good.

Sabrina- How happy?

Int. Westbridge High School hallway. Sabrina enters with a smile on her face until Harvey and Brad catch up with her.

Harvey- Hey Sabrina, did you read our article?

Sabrina- I-I still have to look at it but... I’m happy for you.

Harvey- If it’s too short let us know, ‘cause while we were hanging out at the arcade, Brad thought up a couple more great jokes.

Sabrina- (Through clenched, smiling teeth) I’m happy for you.

They walk past the teachers rest-room just as Mr. Kraft sticks his head out the door.

Mr. Kraft- If I sometimes seem irritable, it’s because I have inoperable haemorrhoids.

Sabrina- I’m happy for you.

Brad- Come on Harv, let’s go and work on our government project together.

The boys leave with Sabrina gazing after them. Blurble, gobble, blop, bubble. She clutches her rumbling belly with a sigh.

Sabrina- (To her tummy) I really was happy for Mr. Kraft.

Int. Spellman living room. Evening. Zelda bringing the hors d’oeuvres through from the kitchen as Sabrina comes through the front door. She’s had a rough trip home from school having walked into three people, a trash can, a parked car and a lamp-post. Wearing sunglasses at night has it’s dangers.

Zelda- Sabrina?

Sabrina- Oh er... I’m just wearing the shades to be cool, nothing to be concerned about.

She saunters coolly to the stairs and then dashes up them. Zelda watches her go concerned but is distracted by the front door bell.

Zelda- Oh, that must be Willard and Wally.

She answers the door and they enter.

Mr. Kraft- No. No-no-no-no, even at my age, the right pacifier can be really comforting.

Wally- Stop revealing these thing to me.

Zelda- (Under her breath) Oh dear, the vulnerability spell.

Mr. Kraft- But in the deepest depths of my soul I still believe that...

Zelda points.

Mr. Kraft- (Cont.) ...that was some football game on Sunday huh? Yeah well, here goes. Zelda, Wally. Wally, Zelda.

Wally takes Zelda’s hand and looks into her eyes.

Wally- You sold her short Willard, she’s more beautiful than a Monay painting.

Mr. Kraft closes his eyes and winces in pain.

Zelda- (Charmed) Oh my-my, you are the second most charming Kraft I’ve ever met.

Wally- You’ve met mother?

Zelda- Oh

Mr. Kraft- (Under his breath) And it starts.

Hilda enters from the basement by way of the dining room. She’s dirty and smudged from clambering around the centuries worth of junk and dust that’s been accumulated.

Hilda- Somebody has stolen our potion st...

She almost walks right into Wally in her rush. She likes what she almost walked into.

Hilda- (Cont.) Oh! I’m sorry, I over-dressed.

Wally- And who is this dust-storm of enchantment?

Hilda- Hilda... but you can call me dust-storm of enchantment.

Mr. Kraft- Hilda, I’d like you to meet my brother, Wally.

Hilda- Some other time, right now I’d like to get to know this cutie.

Mr. Kraft- (To Zelda) I think he likes her.

Zelda- Yes... I’m happy for them.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. The flip-flipping pages of the magic book wake Salem from his nap.

Salem- Ne? Eh-oh! Sa-Sabrina, you woke me up. Whatever happened to quiet desperation?

Sabrina- I have to find a spell but I can’t see anything!

Salem- Well remove the shades Miss Pulp Fiction.

She does, but instead of normal lovely blue eyes, she reveals a pair of brightly glowing green one.

Salem- DEAR LORD! You’re green with envy! You have jealitosis. Jealousy will take over you and your world! All is lost. (Sob! Sob!) But I wouldn’t worry about it.

Sabrina flips worriedly through the magic book in search of a cure.

Sabrina- Here it is! (Reading) ‘The cure to jealitosis. Jealousy must run it’s natural course.’ Oh, since when did this book start taking a holistic approach to magic?

Salem- Maybe all you need is a good nights sleep.

Sabrina- Right! And tomorrow I’ll wake up and be happy for Harvey and Brad.

She turns off the bedside lamp and climbs under the covers before removing the shades. Two bright green beacons of light illuminate the darkened bedroom.

Salem- Behold... the first envy powered night-light.

The next morning. Bright morning sunlight has replaced the eirie green glow of the previous night when Sabrina awakes. Salem is fast asleep where she’d left him as she gets out of bed. Her movements wake the cat.

Salem- Huh? Is the glow gone?

A check in her mirror reveals that it has indeed gone.

Sabrina- You know what? I am so sick of Harvey and his friend Brad always laughing, having fun, making plans.

O-oh! Old green eyes is back.

Salem- On the plus side... er... you look rested.

Sabrina- Y’know, Dreama’s not even around for me to hang out with but, y’know what? I’m a witch, I can have any best friend I want.

She points and a swirl of sparkles resolves itself into a young and very confused looking girl.

Salem- Tara Lipinski?

Tara- What’s going on? I was at the rink and-and know...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) You’re my new best friend.

She jumps about with excitement and gives her new and even more confused best friend a big hug.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Come on! Let’s get ready for school. Now I have no reason to be jealous of anyone.

Salem- Hey, gold medal girl. Show me a triple lutz.

Sabrina- Hey! She’s my friend, not yours.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Hilda’s baiting Zelda.

Hilda- Don’t you wanna ask about last night? Did you notice how Wally and I really hit it off?

Zelda- No, not really. You know, when I’m with Willard I can’t help but shut out the rest of the world.

Hilda- Well the feeling is mutual on the part of the rest of the world. Anyway, Wally and I have so much in common. He loves literature, art, science.

Zelda- You have no interest in those subjects.

Hilda- I do now. Wally’s gonna take me to the Van Gogh exhibit.

Zelda- You’re kidding! I’ve been hinting to Willard to take me there... but the Babylon five convention should be culturally enriching.

Sabrina flashes through the kitchen dragging a skating champion behind her by the hand.

Sabrina- Well, I’m off to school with my new best friend, Tara Lipinski.

They exit.

Zelda- I can’t believe he’s taking you to Van Gogh!

Int. Westbridge High School geometry class. Brad, Harvey and the rest of the class slouch back waiting for the teacher to finish drawing his triangles. Mr. Kraft enters with a paper megaphone.

Mr. Kraft- Attention everyone! All detention is cancelled because... (Singing) My brother didn’t steal my gal.

He leaves.

Brad- (To Harvey) Man, I’ve never seen Mr. Kraft so happy!

Harvey- You weren’t here last year for the public caning.

Brad- Ha-ha-ha!

Sabrina enters dragging her new best friend with her.

Sabrina- Oh yeah, laugh all you want but I’ve got a new best friend now too.

Brad- Tara Lipinski! I’m in love!

There’s a stampede of students with pens and books towards the ice star after autographs. Sabrina's pushed to the side.

Sabrina- (To herself) Wow, it’s great having a best friend. There’s so many places we can go where... I can stand off to the side while everyone else pays attention to her and she doesn’t even notice I’m alive!

She reaches for her shades to hide the newly glowing green eyes and tries to look cool.

Int. Spellman living room. Hilda arrives home with a bunch of flowers.

Hilda- Wally and I just had the most divine lunch at Che Maurice. You and Willard have probably never been there because there’s no drive-through.

Zelda- Willard and I had a very nice lunch today. The food at Custers has improved, I didn’t even chip a tooth this time.

Hilda- Did I show you the flowers Wally bought me?

Zelda- Willard and I have a relationship that’s so strong, he doesn’t need to give me presents.

Hilda- Oh really? Oh, what’s this then?

She picks up a huge foam hand with it’s finger raised with ‘#1’ on it. There’s a note attached to the back.

Hilda- (Reading) 'Zelda, Keep this handy for the next monster truck show’

She hugs the hand mockingly.

Zelda- Give me that!

She snatches it back as Sabrina and Tara enter from the kitchen.

Tara- Sabrina, even though I’m in the middle of a psychotic episode, I liked your friends... Especially Brad.

Sabrina- Oh yeah, everyone likes Brad, everyone likes you. Well y’know what? You can just find yourself a new best friend.

The pointing trick gets rid of ninety-nine percent of unwanted best friends. Tara vanishes and Sabrina sits down on the settee very coolly.

Zelda- Sabrina, would you remove your dark glasses dear?

Sabrina- Oh I would but it’s like a tanning salon in here.

Zelda- Sabrina!

With a sigh the cool facade crumbles and she removes the shades revealing her shameful condition.

Zelda- (Cont.) Oh-no! You’ve got full-blown jealitosis.

Hilda- Or a lousy brand of contacts.

Sabrina- I know, that’s why I’m going to hide away in your room.

Zelda- My room?

Sabrina- Yeah! It’s a lot better than my little dinky one.

Hilda- Wow! This is a bad case if she’s envying your decor.

Zelda- Sabrina, you can’t hide away. Jealitosis can’t run it’s course unless you’re out in public, encountering people who have things you want.

Sabrina- Wow, you know so much. I envy that stuff!

Zelda- Honey, when you’re older it’ll be easier to control your jealousy.

Hilda- Oh like the way you’re controlling your jealousy over my relationship with Wally?

Zelda- Oh I’m afraid you’re confusing jealousy with pity.

Sabrina- Why don’t I have someone to argue with?

Hilda- Sabrina, go back to school and envy someone your own age.

She pushes Sabrina towards the door and she leaves.

Int. Westbridge High School hallway. Sabrina tries hard to control her jealousy. She passes a girl in the hallway.

Sabrina- Cool outfit. (To herself) See? that was good, I wasn’t jealous at all.

Another girl runs out of a classroom waving her test paper in the air wanting to let the whole school in on her momentous news.

Student- I got an ‘A’! I got an ‘A’!

Sabrina- Hey! Why should you get an ‘A’ and not me?!

Student- Er... you’re not in the class?

Sabrina- You’re right, and I-I-I didn’t even wanna be in that class and er... and I’m not jealous of you a bit. Not a bit!

Sabrina runs off into the cafeteria where she runs into Brad.

Brad- Hi Sabrina.

Sabrina- You seem happy. I don’t wanna be happy, that’s not something I crave at all.

Brad- Did you read the article yet?

Sabrina- Yeah, but I’m not publishing it. Ha! There! Now you’re not so happy anymore are you Senor Happy? Now you’ve got nothin’ I want.

Harvey comes over from where he’s been talking to one of the lunch ladies.

Harvey- Hey Sabrina.

Sabrina- Oh don’t try to act all innocent with me, I saw you cosying up to the lunch lady. What does it for ya? Her support hose?

Harvey- Huh? Are you okay?

Sabrina- Eh? Why wouldn’t I be okay? I’m a better writer that Brad and I look better in a hair-net than Mr. Hornbuckle!

She spins on her heals and dashes back out into the hallway where she accosts some totally innocent students.

Sabrina- What’s the matter, Jealous?

She sees three students talking.

Sabrina- (Cont.) I don’t care if you have a secret, I don’t like secrets.

Three paces down she grabs a boy by his shirt-front.

Sabrina- (Cont.) What’s the secret?

In another part of the school Mr. Kraft walks with his brother Wally.

Mr. Kraft- Hey, y’know, I’m really glad that you and Hilda have hit it off because she never cared much for me.

Wally- Well that’s what’s so great about my relationship with her, We seem to agree on everything.

Mr. Kraft- Oh-oh. Ha-ha-ha.

They walk past Sabrina laughing.

Sabrina- (To herself) Why should Mr. Kraft have a best friend and not me? Why should he get to be happy and not me? Why does he... Oh-no! I’m jealous of Mr. Kraft!!!

That’s too much to bear. The Jealitosis has reached complete and utter saturation point so naturally enough it saturates Sabrina. She’s floating submerged in green liquid, cut off from the world with her only companion. Thankfully she finds that she can actually breath in the stuff... and talk.

Sabrina- Salem, where am I?

Salem- Congratulations Sabrina, you’re in the Jealous Sea.

Sabrina- The Jealous Sea?

Salem- Hey, I didn’t come up with the name, I just work here, so get off my back.

Sabrina- But what is this place?

Salem- It’s your kind of place. A place where you have everything and everyone else... has nothing.

Sabrina quite likes that idea. She looks around and sees lots of boys and girls in janitors uniforms with sweeping brushes tidying up the Jealous Seabed.

Sabrina- My classmates? What happened to them?

Salem- Good news! They all had to drop-out of school. Now they’ve entered the exciting field of menial labour. Now you’ll be the only one to get good grades.

Sabrina- That’s not good news, I didn’t... Hey! You missed a spot. What am I saying?

Mr. Kraft- So cold...

He comes by wearing just his underwear and a barrel.

Mr. Kraft- (Cont.) ...No clothes, no job, no food and this barrels a rental.

Sabrina- Er Mr. Kraft?

He walks on vanishing into the murky green depths of the Jealous Sea.

Sabrina- (To Salem) Can’t we do something for him?

Salem- Not mention that the barrel makes him look heavy? Anyway, you can’t be happy as long as he’s happy, right?

Sabrina- But...

Suddenly Harvey and Brad are there beside her. The boys are talking and laughing until Brad dissolves leaving Harvey alone.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Harvey?

Harvey- Sabrina, I don’t have a best friend anymore.

Salem- So quit your belly-achin’ You still have Sabrina.

Harvey- Yeah, but it was kinda nice having a best friend too. I’m gonna miss him.

Sabrina- I know, that’s exactly how I felt when Valerie moved away. I don’t want you to go through that too. Salem, do something.

Salem- This is what you wanted.

Sabrina- I didn’t want this! Oh why couldn’t I have just been happy for Harvey?

Salem- Yeah, and why can’t I find better work than being a know-it-all in a subconscious day-dream?

Sabrina looks at Salem with a ‘Huh?’ expression.

Int. Westbridge High School hallway. A crowd has gathered around the unconscious form of Sabrina. She starts to come round.

Sabrina- Dream?

Harvey- Sabrina? Sabrina? Are you okay?

She looks up at the concerned faces surrounding her.

Sabrina- If everyone else has what they want, it doesn’t diminish what I have.

Harvey- Absolutely. (To Brad) When she fainted did she hit her head?

Brad- I don’t know.

Sabrina jumps to her feet.

Sabrina- Look! Really, think about it. If everyone else has great stuff, it doesn’t take away all the wonderful things that I have.

Harvey- I’m happy to hear you say that. Let’s go to the nurse.

Sabrina- No-no, I’m fine.

She climbs up onto a chair and turns to the crowd of students.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Um, can I have everyone’s attention? I just wanna apologise for the way I’ve been behaving and I want you all to get good grades and not become janitors... unless the custodial work is your passion.

She jumps back down in front of Brad.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Oh Brad, I’m going to publish the article you and Harvey wrote, it’s excellent.

Brad- Then why did you reject it before.

Sabrina- Well y’know running a newspaper is a very complicated business, but mainly I was just being a jerk. Okay, I’ve got to go and apologise to Mr. Kraft now.

She turns to go off in search of the principle but Harvey grabs her by the arms and leads her off in the opposite direction.

Harvey- Okay, that’s it. You’re going to the nurse.

Int. Spellman living room. Hilda’s tarting herself up in front of the mirror for Wally as Zelda comes down stairs.

Zelda- I just heard from the Other Realm, Sabrina’s back from the Jealous Sea and her jealitosis is gone.

Hilda- Oh good, do you remember when we were teenagers and the Jealous Sea had the best Club Med?

Zelda- Yeah, it’s also made me remember that a person can be happy for others without diminishing what she has.

Hilda- U-hu.

They sit together on the settee as Zelda confesses.

Zelda- And I just wanna say that I’ve been acting jealous and I’m sorry. I want you and Wally to have a great time tonight.

Hilda- Thanks Zelly, I’m sure we’ll enjoy the ballet. I mean handsome men in tights, how bad can it be?

Zelda- The ballet?!

Her eyes flash a bright luminous green.

Zelda- (Cont.) I mentioned that to Willard months ago! And I - get - NOTHING!!!

A rumble starts deep in the bowls of Mt. Zelda and boils up to erupt in a cloud of thick green jealousy ash. The blast of pure jealousy seeks exit from the house by the most direct route. Straight up the chimney and falls to cover 133 Collins Road in a thin film of green. Inside, things are even worse. Everything is covered in a thick layer of the stuff, including Zelda and Hilda.

Hilda- I’m glad I didn’t tell you we have orchestra seats.

Sabrina enters the front door and leaves footprints in the dust as she approaches her aunts.

Sabrina- Oh let me guess, this is the way mature witches handle their jealousy?

Zelda- I can’t believe I blew like that.

Hilda- What is your problem? Do you wanna date Wally?

Zelda- No, I’m not jealous because he likes you. I’m jealous because Wally takes you to all the places I want Willard to take me.

Sabrina- You know I may be a younger and less mature witch, but it seems to me that if you want Mr. Kraft to take you places. Instead of waiting for him to ask you, why don’t you ask him?

Zelda- You’re right, I’m going to. I’m going to ask Willard Kraft to the ballet.

Int. Westbridge Opera House. Amongst the audience of tuxedoed men and elegantly dressed women sits a blonde witch with a pair of opera glasses to her eyes as she enjoys ‘Swan Lake’ The only thing preventing her complete enjoyment of it, as well as a large section of her fellow art lovers, is the loud snoring of her companion. One Mr. Willard Kraft.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina and Zelda sit reading magazines as Harvey lets himself in the front door.

Harvey- Hey.

Sabrina- Oh hi Harvey.

Zelda- Hey, I understand the article that you and Brad wrote was a big hit.

Harvey- People seem to like it.

Sabrina- Like it? You should have seen he and Brad walk into math class. It was like Lillian Helman walking into Soretese after The Little Foxes.

Harvey- So are you ready to start the next one?

Sabrina- Yeah, let's go and get Brad and start brain-storming.

Harvey- Er y’know what? Do you think just the two of us could work on this one?

Sabrina- Really?

Harvey- Yeah, I don’t know if you’re aware of it but Brad and I have been spending a lot of time together lately.

Sabrina- Really? I hadn’t noticed.

They head off out together and Sabrina turns to Zelda and shrugs happily.

Int. Spellman kitchen. later.

Hilda- So how was your date with Harvey?

Run credits.

Sabrina- Oh it was great. We went to The Slicery, all our friends were there. Most of them at our table, so we’re going to ease into the whole spending time alone thing. How was your date with Wally?

Hilda- Well he’s not really my type. We didn’t have that much in common and I really don’t like his cologne.

Sabrina- So you’re going out again?

Hilda- Tuesday.

Zelda enters from the dining room in her lab-coat carrying a potion bottle.

Zelda- I’ve just finished an experiment, I thought I’d save you the potion bottle.

She gives it to Hilda.

Hilda- Oh thanks.

Hilda tosses it from where she’s sat at the kitchen table and scores two points into the trash-can.

Sabrina- Hey! I thought you were going to cash those in for a trip to the islands.

Hilda- I was, then I remembered... I’m a witch.

She points at herself and vanishes in a large puff of smoke.

Hilda (Cont.)(OS) I’ll be back when I get a tan.