Fear Strikes Up A Conversation

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda’s sat at the table engrossed in her lap-top, surrounded by books and papers, Hilda’s pouring herself some coffee and Salem’s reading the financial section sat on the counter. Sabrina enters.

Sabrina- Hey, guess what?

Salem- The New Yorkers accepted my short story?

Sabrina- (Ignoring him) Mrs. Quick liked my essay ‘How math applies to real life’ She liked it so much, she want’s me to read it in front of my math class.

Hilda- That’s wonderful, isn’t it Zelda?

Zelda’s too engrossed in what she’s doing to respond.

Hilda- Zelda? Zelda!

Hilda still gets no response. So she does that magical pointing thing and picks up the megaphone that’s now sat on the kitchen counter, walks round till she’s stood beside her sister bends down, switches it on and...

Hilda- ATTENTION ZELDA!!

Zelda- (Raising her head) Did you say something? Oh, I’m sorry. I have to present a paper at a big scientific symposium in the Other Realm and I have so much more research to do.

Sabrina- Oh that’s okay, I just wanted to tell you about my...

Zelda’s no longer listening again

Sabrina- (Cont.) Aunt Zelda? AUNT ZELDA!

Hilda- I am really worried about her, she hasn’t eaten or slept in days. She’s even been too busy to disapprove of me.

Salem- She must be dead!

Sabrina- She’s been working too hard, she needs to relax. Maybe we could try aromatherapy or... a mallet?

Hilda- I know what to do.

Hilda puts her finger to work again and there’s a sudden Hawaiian theme to the kitchen. Hilda sports a grass skirt and lei’s, Sabrina wears a sarong and flowers in her hair, Zelda also has flowers and lei’s and is holding a large cocktail overflowing with little umbrella’s and sliced fruit. Even Salem has his own kitty lei and a large Margarita.

Hilda- (To Zelda) Aloha!

Zelda responds... not at all.

Hilda- It’s hopeless! (To Sabrina) I guess you and I might as well have a luau.

Sabrina- No thanks, the mai tai might make me groggy for home room.

Sabrina leaves to get changed for school... again

Salem- The cat could party.

Run opening credits.

Int. Westbridge High School hallway. Sabrina and Valerie come round the corner.

Valerie- So what did Mrs. Quick like best about your essay?

Sabrina- That my idea’s were clear and concise.

Valerie- Clear, concise, got it. Next time I write an essay I’ll be sure to be fuzzy and wordy, that way I’ll avoid the terror you're about to endure.

Sabrina- What are you talking about? It’s just in front of a few other students, what’s the big deal?

Mrs. Quick comes rushing up.

Mrs. Quick- Sabrina! Guess what? I liked your essay so much, I’ve arranged for you to read in front of all of the math classes in school.

Valerie sucks in a shocked breath and whips her knit hat of to stuff over her mouth and nose as she starts to hyperventilate. She dashes off breathing deeply through the hat as Sabrina and Mrs. Quick look on.

Sabrina- Valerie seems to think there’s something stressful about speaking in public, what do you think?

Mrs. Quick- Oh I don’t know. I don’t get stressed, I get hives.

She wanders off scratching the back of her hand.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda hasn’t moved from the table. Salem sits on the counter with an empty food bowl in front of him.

Salem- Feed me!

Hilda enters from the dinning room.

Hilda- She’s still working?

Salem- She’s supposed to feed me every half hour, I’m so weak. I’m in the mood for crapes.

Hilda- Don’t worry, I’ve come up with a plan to bring Zelda back to reality.

Salem- Or you could feed me.

Hilda points and the computer and all the books vanish from the table in a puff of smoke.

Zelda- (Still reading even without a book) Divide that by equal parts of...

She looks at the book or rather where the book should have been and pushes her glasses down to look over them.

Zelda- Must need new glasses.

Hilda- Zelda, you have us all really worried.

Zelda- I’m trying to attain a deeper understanding of molecules. I want to ennoble humanity.

Hilda- I know, and that has to stop right now.

Zelda- Maybe I have been working too hard, but I can’t just stop cold turkey.

Salem- Turkey! Please!

Hilda- Don’t worry, I’ve come up with a plan that will keep you occupied and relaxed all at the same time. Come with me.

Hilda heads off towards the living room but has to stop and come back as Zelda gets back into her deeper understanding. She takes Zelda by the arm and drags her from the chair.

Hilda- (Cont.) Now!

Int. Spellman living room. Hilda drags Zelda in.

Hilda- We’ve always wanted to organise the family photos and you’ll be able to keep busy without working yourself into a frenzy.

She pushes Zelda down onto the settee amidst a huge pile of shoe boxes and photo albums. A witch can acquire a lot of momento’s of those special occasions over six hundred years. Zelda picks up a photo.

Zelda- Oh, I’ve always loved this picture of Uncle Toots. I’ll put it right here.

She places it in an album.

Hilda- Good.

Zelda- Oh this is relaxing.

Hilda starts to leave happy that her plan is working.

Zelda- (Cont.) But maybe cousin Emmett's photo would be better on this page.

Hilda- Zelda!

Zelda- Let's see, Uncle Toots’s black hair would look best next to uncle Emmett's yellow teeth.

Hilda- ZELDA!

Zelda- Or should I arrange them by head size?

Hilda throws her arms up in despair and leaves her to it.

Int. Westbridge High School Cafeteria. Sabrina and Valerie are sat having lunch as Libby arrives.

Libby- Aren’t you going to congratulate me? I’m your new spring queen.

Valerie- We haven’t voted for that yet.

Libby- Voting? You're so naive. Come Friday and the gap between us will be even greater due to my royal station.

Sabrina- I’d genuflect but my tater-tots are getting cold.

Libby leaves as Harvey arrives and sits with them.

Harvey- Well, I’m going out for track again.

Sabrina- But last year you impaled yourself on the hurdles.

Harvey- Yes, but on the bright side I discovered I also enjoy food through a tube.

Valerie- Hey, did you hear? Sabrina’s reading her essay to all the math classes.

Harvey- Oh man, that’s brave.

Sabrina- What’s the big deal? I mean what can go wrong?

Harvey- You might start vomiting.

Valerie- And let's not forget sweating, or sweating’s emotional cousin, weeping.

Harvey- Oh but none of these things are shameful... unless you have a problem with a nickname like ‘pit stains’

Sabrina’s beginning to look a little worried as the ever happy Mrs. Quick arrives.

Mrs. Quick- Sabrina, here’s some good news. It took some doing but I convinced Mr. Kraft to let you read your essay at tomorrow’s assembly.

All three of them look up at Mrs. Quick horrified. She looks down at her hand thinking they’ve seen something there.

Mrs. Quick- (Cont.) Does this look infected? Oh!

Mrs. Quick rushes of to see the nurse and Libby, having overheard comes over again.

Libby- So, tomorrow’s assembly. I’ll be in the front row just like I was for Titanic... only this’ll be way more disastrous.

Libby leaves gloating.

Sabrina- I’ve gotta find Mr. Kraft and tell him I can’t do this.

Int. School hallway. Outside the teachers lounge, Sabrina has found Mr. Kraft.

Mr. Kraft- You have to do it, it’s all set. I tried to get Steve Allen but he’s already booked so now it’s all up to you.

Sabrina- It’s just an assembly.

Mr. Kraft- Oh no! No, it is the first assembly that Principle Larue has put me in charge of, so it has to be a great speech. We are talking FDR’s first inaugural address, we are talking Lincoln at Gettysburg, we are talking Billy Crystal at the Oscars, it has to be that good.

Mr. Kraft leaves her feeling a tad more than just a little worried.

Sabrina- Well, ‘Pit Stains Spellman’ does have a certain ring to it.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Salem is still lay in front of his food bowl as Hilda enters.

Salem- This is so good.

Hilda- What is it?

Salem- A sour ball I found under the couch.

Sabrina enters through the back door.

Hilda- Hey, how was school?

Sabrina- Awful! I have a big problem, I’ve got to talk to aunt Zelda.

She heads towards the living room but Hilda stops her.

Hilda- Wait a minute. Why do you always go to Zelda with your problems? I mean I’m your aunt too, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?

Sabrina- Okay. Well, I have to read an essay at an assembly and I’m terrified.

Hilda- Hm, this is a problem. Have you considered running away from it?

Sabrina- That was my first thought. Boy aunt Hilda, y’know sometimes you really underestimate me.

Sabrina heads of to find aunt Zelda again.

Hilda- Wait! Wait! Gimme a second chance. I know! Y’know a little fear can be a good thing, you just have to learn to live with it and deal with it.

Sabrina- That is good advice, but not what I wanted to hear. What am I gonna do?

Sabrina runs off upstairs upset.

Hilda- (To Salem) What am I gonna do? Do you think I should talk to Zelda?

Salem- Is that a Jolly Rancher under the table?

Int. Spellman living room. Zelda is on her knees tugging at a photo in an album with utmost intensity. Hilda enters.

Hilda- Zelda, Sabrina has a problem.

Zelda- Lorry’s picture will completely destroy the Uncle Ammett sequence.

Hilda- Zelda?

The picture comes free and with it something finally snaps. Zelda kneels upright, a blank look coming over her, he eyes staring into space.

Hilda- (Cont.) Zelda?

Zelda- Danger Will Robinson.

Steam blasts from Zelda’s ears. Hilda rushes to her and helps her up.

Hilda- Zelda! Zelda! What happened? Speak to me.

Zelda becomes animated once more but doesn’t seem quite herself.

Zelda- Oh, I love your lipstick, you are a classy broad. Y’got culture.

She winks at Hilda.

Hilda- Come again?

Zelda- Come on doll face, let's do the Charleston.

Zelda starts to dance twirling the tassel on the front of her belt, Hilda watches confused and bemused.

Hilda- Something has happened to Zelda, I have to deal with it.

Hilda starts to dance with Zelda to humour her.

Hilda- (Cont.) Okay, dancing is not the answer.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina is lay face down on the bed with a blanket thrown over her head. Salem is lay on the dressing table.

Salem- Sabrina, when are you gonna come out from under your blanket?

Sabrina- Never.

Salem- Don’t be afraid, life is short.

Sabrina throws back the blanket.

Sabrina- Oh please! What fearless thing have you done lately?

Salem- Well I-I-I-I slept in a pile of laundry I wasn’t familiar with. Haven’t you figured this witch thing out yet?

Sabrina- The magic book?

Salem- Unless you're afraid of it now.

She gets up and retrieves the book from it’s stand and flips it open on the bed.

Sabrina- Let's see. (Reading) Fear, removal of, see page one-thirteen. Before extracting fear see warning.

She turns to page 113. There’s a picture of F. D. Roosevelt.

FDR- Hello Sabrina.

Sabrina- Hey, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, you're the guy who said ‘We have nothing to fear but fear itself.’

FDR- Actually what I wanted to say was ‘We have nothing to fear but poverty’ But my advisers told me I should come up with something a little punchier.

Sabrina- Good line, great delivery.

FDR- Thanks. Sabrina, I must tell you that if you use your magic to get rid or your fear it could cast a shadow on the rest of your life.

Sabrina- Mr. President, have you ever had to read an essay in front of a high school assembly?

FDR- Well no, but I did overcome polio to become the leader of the free world and I carried this country through the biggest economic crisis in it’s history and I faced the forces of totalitarianism in the gravest conflict in recorded time.

Sabrina- But you never had to read an essay in front of a high school assembly?

FDR- Um... no.

Sabrina- Well then you can’t really relate to what I’m saying, can you Mr. President?.

She waves good bye and turns the page.

Sabrina- (Cont.) All right. er (Reading) To activate fear removal drink a glass of water while open to this page.

Sabrina pointing finger produces the required glass of water and she takes a sip and hiccups. A small black shadow comes out of her mouth and skips off to hover in a dark corner of the room.

Salem- Close the book! CLOSE THE BOOK!

Sabrina- Jeez Salem, don’t be such a scaredy cat. I can’t wait for the assembly tomorrow, my essay’s gonna rock.

Salem- Looks like your fear is gone.

Sabrina- Yeah, you're right! The fear must have been scared out of me. Whoo-hoo!

She jumps of the bed and picks up Salem and starts dancing round the room with him.

Salem- Stop it! <Sob!> Y’know I can’t stand this ride. <Sob!>

She stops and sits with him on the end of the bed as the shadow edges in close.

Salem- (Cont.) Hold me!

Int. Spellman living room. Hilda has had to call in professional help to deal with Zelda. Seven year old Dr. Brickman is just finishing up his examination.

Dr. Brickman- No doubt about it, a clear case of witch-snap. It happens to witches minds when they’ve been over worked.

Zelda- Okay Skipper. You and Gilligan forage for berries, while I prepare a coconut soufflé.

Hilda- Why is she acting like that?

Dr. Brickman- Right now she’s going through Gingersnap.

Zelda- I’m glad you’ve figured that out professor, now maybe you can think of a way to fix the hole in the boat.

Dr. Brickman- Now the only thing that will cure her is no stress. So make sure that she has nothing on her mind.

Hilda- Well if I recall the character correctly, she doesn’t.

Int. Westbridge High School hallway. Sabrina approaches Valerie at her locker.

Sabrina- What’s up Val?

Valerie spins round slamming her locker shut and back up against it giving a little scream of fright.

Valerie- Why are you looking at me like that? You don’t want to be my friend anymore do you?

Mrs. Quick has heard the scream and comes over to see what’s up.

Mrs. Quick- Valerie are you all right?

Valerie- No! Sabrina keeps staring at me and it’s making me nervous.

Mrs. Quick- Well maybe you should see the nurse, I was going to have her check out my hives.

She holds up the back of her hand and starts rubbing at it.

Sabrina- I don’t see any hives.

Mrs. Quick- Oh, I can see that the nurse has poisoned you with her lies too. Come on Valerie.

They leave Sabrina confused as a dark shadow follows them down the hallway.

Sabrina- (To herself) Wait a minute! Is magic behind this? Come on Sabrina, don’t jump to conclusions.

Mr. Kraft- (Over the school PA) Attention everyone, this is Vice Principle Kraft. I have an important announcement to make. I DON’T WANT TO DIE!

Sabrina- Okay, time to jump to conclusions.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda is lay full length on the counter having acquired a baby’s bonnet from somewhere and is trailing it’s ties round Salem’s head, tempting him to play. Hilda’s sat at the table trying to work.

Zelda- Catch the stwingy Sawem, isn’t this fun?

Salem- Hilda!

Hilda- It’ll pass. She’s just going through the sugar-snap phase of witch-snap.

Zelda- I gonna give Sawem a hug.

And she does.

Salem- Does Querkian do animals?

Hilda- Oh! Unbelievable! Zelda balances this cheque book every month and I’ve never seen her in a homicidal rage.

The toaster pings and Hilda gets up to check the message as Zelda ties the baby bonnet onto Salem’s head.

Salem- Well if you feel like killing someone, might I suggest Zelda.

Hilda- Oh-no! Zelda, your symposium is tonight! If your paper isn’t presented you’ll be kicked out of the academy. Do you think you can pull yourself together to give it?

Zelda- I gonna kiss you!

Hilda- Okay, that would be a ‘no’

Sabrina enters.

Hilda- Hey Sabrina! Oh Zelda wants you to try and balance that cheque book.

Sabrina- I can’t, I’m too upset. I-I tried to overcome my fear by casting a spell and now there’s this weird shadow following people around school.

Hilda- Oh-no! If you use magic to release your fear, the fear gets lose and prays on mortals. Didn’t Mellard Fillmore warn you?

Sabrina- Actually it was FDR but I blew him off.

Hilda- FDR? Oh, they’ve upgraded the magic book.

Salem- Excuse me, aren’t we in the midst of a crisis here?

Hilda- Right. (To Sabrina) You’ve got to go back and get everyone in the entire school who’s been affected by your fear shadow to come home with you.

Sabrina- Oh no problem, right after I end hunger.

Hilda- No now! Hurry, the longer the shadow is lose the greater the fear will grow.

Sabrina- Okay.

Hilda shoo’s Sabrina out while Zelda finishes up putting the cute little baby booties on Salem’s paws

Salem- When I said crisis, I meant Zelda. She putting booties on me <Sob!>

Int. Westbridge High School hallway. Panic stalks the hallways, students run screaming in fear in all directions. The only fearless person is Sabrina as she walks through the mayhem and grabs Valerie by the arm as she runs past.

Sabrina- Wait! Valerie stop! Why are you so afraid.

Valerie- The earth! The stars! Space! WE’RE DECOMPOSING AS WE SPEAK!

She runs off and Sabrina grabs the next person to run past hoping he can help.

Sabrina- Mr. Kraft, I need you to get everyone out of this school and back to my house.

Mr. Kraft- Oh-ho, that is just what my enemies want.

Sabrina- Enemies?

Mr. Kraft- I am surrounded by enemies. People plotting against me behind my back. People who want my assembly to fail.

Sabrina- There’s nothing going on behind your back except...

She sees something behind Mr. Kraft’s back It’s horrible, it’s grotesque, it’s Libby in pale blue hot pants and white knee boots with half a hundred weight of make up plastered onto her face. Mr. Kraft turns seeing her and fends her away with a yell of fright.

Libby- Mr. Kraft, when are you going to formally make me Spring Queen?

Mr. Kraft- I know you! You're one of the four horsemen, the one with too much eye shadow. We should never have stopped school prayer.

Mr. Kraft runs off, Libby holds her compact up as she applies more lip-stick to her already very red lips.

Sabrina- Wait! Why are you wearing so much make up?

Libby- Because, what if I’m not made Spring Queen? Then the next thing you know I’m not going to be Summer Princess or Autumn Empress or Winter Goddess. What if I never win another seasonal beauty pageant again?

She runs off applying her lip-stick.

Sabrina- (Calling after) Wait! You’ve got some lip-stick on your teeth.

Mrs. Quick comes out of a classroom clutching her arm.

Mrs. Quick- My hives have turned into Gangrene, will you cut off my arm?

Sabrina- I have a hacksaw back at my house if you go right now.

Mrs. Quick- No, I can’t risk being exposed to sunlight. If you wont help me then I’ll just have to gnaw it off myself.

Sabrina watches her leave horrified at the thought as Harvey makes his slow careful way down the hallway clinging to the walls.

Sabrina- Harvey?

Harvey- Don’t touch me, you could break a bone.

Sabrina- Oh it’s a good thing you stopped me, I was going to put my hand on your shoulder.

Harvey- I just don’t wanna get hurt. Football! Hockey! Track! Cards! They’re all so dangerous!

Sabrina- Cards?

Harvey- Have you ever had a paper cut? Who do you think I am, Evil Kaneaval?

Sabrina lets him slip away along the wall as she thinks frantically for a way to get all these people back to her house. For a second the hallway is clear so she magic’s up a microphone and speaks over the PA.

Sabrina- Attention! I’ve just been informed that Vermont has just declared war on Massachusetts. Luckily there’s a bomb shelter at my house, if we all hurry we can get there in time but the most important thing to remember is...

A distant scream begins and builds as hundreds of students and staff come charging round the corner in a blind, uncontrolled panic and bear down on Sabrina.

Sabrina- ...DON’T PANIC!

She drops the microphone and runs for it, The crowd follow with a black shadow floating along behind. Soon the school corridors are empty except for Mr. Kraft carrying a baseball bat and a copy of ‘The Final Days’

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda is wearing a smart suit and holding her brief case. Hilda paces with Zelda’s presentation in her hands. Salem is sat on the counter.

Hilda- Okay Salem, since I have to present Zelda’s paper for her, you have to help me.

Salem- Okay.

Hilda- (Reading) The uses of the Hirexzine...

Zelda- (Sounding her normal self) It’s pronounced Hirexzeen.

Hilda- Zelda, you're back!

Zelda- It’s pronounced Hirexzeen.

Hilda- Oh-ho! Zelda, what’s your favourite soft drink?

Zelda- It’s pronounced Hirexzeen.

Hilda- Great! The biggest night of Zelda’s scientific career and she has the verbal skills of a potato.

Salem- It’s pronounced Pot-ah-to.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina comes in the front door out of breath having run ahead of the howling, frightened mob all the way from school. She closes the door and leans back against it as Hilda enters.

Sabrina- I managed to get everyone from school to come home with me.

Hilda- Great! Now all you have to do is get the shadow through the linen closet and into the Other Realm.

Sabrina- Well how do I get it into the house and keep everyone else out?

Hilda- You know how dogs can smell fear, well fear can smell dogs.

Hilda waves her finger in the air and a sudden barking can be heard over the screaming of the crowd.

Crowd- Let me in the bomb shelter! Help, a pack of wild dogs!

Sabrina opens the door and the shadow enters chased by a pack of wild Jack Russell and Yorkshire terriers. He flees up the stairs.

Int. Spellman upstairs landing. Salem is sat on the linen basket beside the open closet door. The shadow comes up the stairs and straight into the closet, the yapping dogs follow. The closet door closes and there’s a crash of thunder and lightning as they are all transported to the Other Realm.

Salem- D'ah! I thought they’d never leave.

Sabrina enters with Hilda. Zelda follows behind.

Sabrina- Well I’m glad we took care of that, they can handle my fear in the Other Realm.

Hilda- Sabrina, you have to go to the Other Realm and confront your fear or it will always haunt you.

Sabrina- Do I have to go alone? Isn’t there a group package available? Can you come?

Hilda- Oh yeah, like I don’t have enough to do.

She points out Zelda who is stood with a simple smile on her face flapping her lower lip with her finger.

Hilda- (To Zelda) Stop that. (To Sabrina) Come on, take your Quizmaster. He’s knowledgeable, resourceful and he’s strong.

Sabrina- I’m going to need someone strong?

Hilda- If you wanna live. Go! I've got a paper to give.

She opens the closet door and pushes the reluctant Sabrina inside. Hilda’s about to follow when she realises she’s forgotten something. She goes back for Zelda who’s still stood bobbling her lips and making a silly noise and pushes her into the closet

Hilda- (Cont.) Oh I hate being the responsible one.

The closet door closes and in a flash they’re gone.

Salem- Once again, no one remembers to feed the cat.

Ext. The Other Realm, Forest of fears. Sabrina walks through the dark misty forest with the only bright spot of colour being The Quizmaster’s shiny gold coloured shirt and cheque trousers.

Sabrina- Why’s it so dark in here?

Quizmaster- Your fear shadow has engulfed this whole area. Everything you encounter here will be one of your subconscious fears. It is the forest of your fears.

Sabrina- Really, that’s what it’s called?

Quizmaster- Well actually it’s called Pine Valley.

Int. The Other Realm, Science symposium, Hilda is stood at the lectern in front of the assembled great minds of the realm about to read Zelda’s paper. Zelda sits at a table beside her on the podium making faces at the assembled great minds of the realm.

Hilda- Anyway, I just flew in from out of town and boy is my broom tired.

Her joke is met with gales of raucous, stony silence.

Hilda- (Cont.) Okay, so on with the lecture. Okay. It um it starts with kind of a triangular symbol and then I-I guess the scientific term for what comes next would be the erm... Thingy.

The assembled great minds of the realm look at each other.

Hilda- (Cont.) This is hard, I just have to concentrate...

But the strain is too much and Hilda snaps, steam billows from her ears and her mind turns to mush. Fortunately Zelda chooses that very moment to snap out of her witch-snap and she sees her sister shrouded in steam gazing blankly around the hall.

Zelda- Hilda, What are you doing? What’s going on?

She sucks in a sharp breath of shock when she spots the assembled great minds of the realm before the podium.

Zelda- (Cont.) Oh dear!

Hilda- Insy winsy spider went up the water spout...

Ext. The Other Realm, Forest of fears. Sabrina and the Quizmaster still wander through it’s murky depths. The Quizmaster spies the doorway at the base of a giant old oak with bright light showing round it’s edges and through the gaps in the slatted planks.

Quizmaster- Now do you see that door? You have to make it through that door without turning back.

Sabrina- Is that all? I guess we came to the forest of my fears on an off day.

She strides confidently towards the door and all’s going well until Mrs. Quick jumps out from behind a tree. Sabrina screams in shock and jumps back into the Quizmaster.

Sabrina- Mrs. Quick?

Quizmaster- She’s not really Mrs. Quick, she’s a symbolic manifestation of your fears.

Sabrina- But Mrs. Quick doesn’t scare me?

Mrs. Quick- Oh I’m so glad to hear that because I’ve talked to several universities and no one will accept you.

Sabrina- You know I don’t like this game anymore, I’m going home.

Quizmaster- Now Sabrina, you have to move forward.

Sabrina starts to walk on.

Mrs. Quick- You don’t know this but you're not going to do very well on your S. A. T’s. No college, no future Sabrina. I have your fast food uniform right here.

She holds up a set of gaudy orange overalls.

Sabrina- NO! No! No I’ll be okay! There’s always trade school.

Mrs. Quick fades away into the surrounding mist.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Wow! I guess I am afraid of not getting into college. Maybe that’s my biggest fear.

Valerie leaps out from behind another tree making Sabrina scream so loud she nearly deafens the Quizmaster.

Sabrina- (Cont.) No! It’s people jumping out from behind tree’s.

Valerie- Sabrina, you're a good friend with a soft heart.

Sabrina- Oooh, I’m shaking.

Valerie- You should be, because a soft heart will only hold you back in...

She looks aside dramatically as a dum-dum-dum plays.

Valerie- (Cont.) ...the real world. You have to be tough in the real world.

Sabrina- You mean you can’t just be nice?

Valerie- Nice guys finish last Sabrina.

Sabrina- What about Mr. Rogers?

Valerie- Have you seen his ratings?

Sabrina- And Jimmy Carter and Audrey Hepburn and other nice people. I mean occasionally nice people do succeed.

As she spoke Valerie vanished back into the mist surrounding them.

Sabrina- (To the Quizmaster) Y’know, I’ve had enough, I’m going to go back to my room and cower.

Quizmaster- Sabrina come on, you're doing okay. You have to be brave. That way.

He points her onwards, deeper into the dark woods and reluctantly she goes.

Int. The Other Realm, Science Symposium. Zelda escorts Hilda from the lectern and sits her at the table.

Zelda- Hilda, why don’t you sit here and occupy yourself while I talk to the nice Nobel Laureates?

Zelda goes back to the lectern and addresses the assembled great minds of the realm.

Zelda- Well um, you came here to hear me read my paper, so let's get right to it.

She glances across to see that Hilda’s occupying herself as she suggested by dipping the carefully and painstakingly worked on paper into the water carafe.

Zelda- Hilda! NO!

Ext. The Other Realm, Forest of fears. Onward, ever onward our intrepid pair go. Sabrina doesn’t even flinch as Libby leaps out from behind a tree wearing way to much make up. She’s dressed as a clown and it’s the Quizmaster who screams and cowers behind Sabrina.

Quizmaster- It’s-It’s a clown! I’ve always er been afraid of clowns.

Sabrina- Oh, so the way you dress is how you confront your fears?

Quizmaster- Are you afraid of being snatched bald headed? Because that’s what’s going to happen.

Sabrina- (To Libby) I’m not afraid of clowns. Why are you scaring the Quizmaster in the forest of my fears?

Libby- I’m not going to waste my scariness on you, freak, although as long as I’m here I may as well remind you that everybody has commented on how you're...

Again there’s a dramatic dum-dum-dum and glance aside.

Libby- (Cont.) Different.

Harvey steps from some bushes to stand beside Libby.

Harvey- Hey. I don’t care if Sabrina’s...

Dum-dum-dum.

Harvey- (Cont.) Different.

From another bush the laughing Mr. Kraft appears.

Mr. Kraft- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! But she’s not just different, I happen to know she’s a witch.

Mrs. Quick and Valerie join Libby, Harvey and Mr. Kraft to chant and point.

All- You're a witch! You're a witch! You're a witch!

Sabrina- (Screaming) Noooo!

All- You're a witch! You're a witch! You're a witch!

Sabrina- (Crying with her hands over ears) NOOOO!

All- You're a witch!

Sabrina- Wait a minute! You're right I am a witch, and I’m proud of being a witch because it means I can do this.

She twirls her finger to make them all vanish.

Quizmaster- Oh, way to go Sabrina! Now all you have to do is walk through that door and face your ultimate and final fear.

Sabrina- Great! And if you find my nervous system anywhere around, I’d like it back.

She turns towards the door.

Int. Westbridge High School Gym. The entire faculty and staff are assembled for Mr. Kraft’s inaugural assembly. He’s on the podium but Mrs. Quick is at the lectern.

Mrs. Quick- And now, to read her essay ‘How math applies to real life’ Sabrina Spellman.

The door beside the stage has an oldie, plankie type of appearance about it for a moment as Sabrina steps through it to be met by applause. Her fear shadow follows her through and floats gloating by the door while she nervously makes her way to the podium, Will she vomit? Will she cry? Will she have to live with a name like 'pit stains'? Whatever the outcome she must face it as the school waits expectantly for her to speak. She clears her throat.

Sabrina- (Reading) In the beginning there was the word, but in order to mark when the beginning was we needed numbers. Making math as big a part of life as language, although not quite as big as TV.

The students laughed and Mr. Kraft shushed them. Sabrina glanced across at the fear shadow and watched it shrink a little, it wasn’t gloating anymore. With renewed confidence Sabrina continues her essay until later she barely has to glance at it to remember what’s written there.

Sabrina- At first math seemed so complicated I was afraid of it, but once I took the time to study it wasn’t scary to me anymore.

The Quizmaster stands by the door watching the shadow shrink and shrink as Sabrina’s fear fades.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Which proves that knowledge and experience are the best weapons against fear. Thank you.

Everyone applauds her, even the cheerleaders, as she leaves the podium and joins the Quizmaster and a tall bespectacled man in a suit and bow tie.

Quizmaster- Great speech Sabrina. Now you can finally face your fear.

Sabrina- Wow! My fear looks just like Steve Allen.

Fear- (Laughing) I know what fear is believe me, I did live TV.

Sabrina- It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.

She holds out her hand but he doesn’t take it.

Fear- Wait a minute! Meet, that rhymes with sweet. You gave me an idea for a song. (Singing) When you beat your feet, down the street.
All the little birdies go tweet, tweet, tweet.

As he sings he shrinks and finally vanishes.

Sabrina- (Pleased) He’s gone, Alright! Fear is out of my life forever.

Quizmaster- No, not quite.

The Quizmaster points to a designer patch that sits on Sabrina’s blouse above her heart that looks like a tiny Steve Allen.

Quizmaster- He’s there to remind you that fear is something that’ll always be a part of you. You just have to be willing to deal with it.

Sabrina- Hey, is Steve Allen going to be on all my clothes now?

Quizmaster- Oh come on Sabrina, don’t take everything so seriously. Lighten up.

Sabrina- All right, whatever you say.

She points at herself and transforms into a clown outfit complete with a big red nose.

Quizmaster- Oh a Clown! Hey yeah, well y’know I can handle that.

Sabrina smiles and squeezes her nose, it goes beep and the Quizmaster runs away to hide under his bed with Sabrina chasing him.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina’s happily telling aunt Zelda about the assembly and her essay, but Zelda’s looking a little unhappy.

Sabrina- And everyone said they loved my speech and Mr. Kraft said it was up there with something Steve Allen would do.

Zelda- That’s nice dear.

Sabrina- Aunt Zelda, you seem down in the dumps?

Zelda- Oh it’s nothing, just my scientific career is now a shambles.

The toaster pings.

Salem- Hey, there’s a message from the Other Realm in the toaster. Get it out so I can make an English muffin.

Zelda takes the message and reads it.

Zelda- I don’t believe it! Because of the symposium fiasco, I’ve been given a grant to study abnormal phenomenon in already abnormal witches.

Hilda enters with an accordion strapped to her chest

Hilda- Thank-a you boys, the songs of Bavaria we’ll-a never forget them.

Run credits

Zelda- Wonderful, she’s in the Lawrence Welk-snap stage of witch-snap. This is perfect!

She gets set to take notes.

Hilda- And now a little polka. And-a one-a and-a two-a and-a Three-a...

Hilda plays her polka dancing round the table.

Sabrina- I didn’t know it until now but aunt Hilda playing the accordion is my biggest fear.