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Sabrina The Teenage Witch - View Transcript

The Crucible

Teleplay By - Nell Scovell & Jon Sherman
Story By - Nell Scovell
Transcribed By - Paul Booth

Cast

Sabrina - Melissa Joan Hart
Hilda - Caroline Rhea
Zelda - Beth Broderick
Salem - Nick Bakay
Harvey - Nate Richert
Jenny - Michelle Beaudoin
Libby - Jenna Liegh Green
Mr Pool - Paul Feig
Mrs Hecht - Berlinda Tolbert
Cee Cee - Melissa Murray
Jill - Bridget Flanery
Adam - John Patrick White
Giant - Kevin Nash

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this transcript, nor do I own any rights to the television show Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. It was created by Nell Scovell and belongs to her, Viacom Productions Inc, Hartbreak Films, and the ABC Television network. The characters are based on the original characters appearing in Archie Comics.

 

Int. Spellman upstairs landing. The closet doorbell rings.

Sabrina- I'll get it

She comes out of her room to answer it carrying a bowl of potato chips. She trips as she comes out throwing the chips all over the floor.

Sabrina- Oh!

She crunches over to the closet door and opens it to find a pair of legs. She looks up, and up, and up until she reaches the face of the Barbarian Giant with a huge spiked mace standing there.

Giant- In the name of the elders of Vandor, prepare to die!

Sabrina- What?

He advances on her with a snarl on his face thrusting the business end of his mace at her as she backs away.

Giant- Take this Gorgo, and this!

Sabrina screams in terror and turns fleeing into her bedroom. The giant follows.

Giant- Argh!

Sabrina grabs the nearest weapon and hurls it at him but the fluffy dog cushion off her chaise lounge makes no impression. She scrambles over her bed as the giant raises his mace for the killing blow. Sabrina screams in fear and ducks behind her lace curtains.

Giant- Grrr!

Sabrina- Wait! No! I’m not Gorgo!

The Barbarian Giant stops his death swing and looks down at her.

Giant- You're not?

Sabrina- No!

Giant- So this isn’t the fortress of Wolfrik.

Sabrina- No, this is one thirty-three Collins road.

Giant- Oh, I’m sorry. Am I embarressed.

Sabrina edges cautiously out from behind the protection of her curtain.

Sabrina- So you're not going to kill me?

Giant- No, no, no, there’s been a terrible mistake. We recently merged with another hoard and interdepartmental communications has been horrible.

He puts down his mace on the bed and Sabrina edges out a little further feeling safer now.

Giant- I’m sorry to have troubled you.

Sabrina- Oh, that’s okay. It was no trouble.

The giant turns and heads back to the linen closet

Giant- Believe me, I’m going to ream those guys in despatch.

Sabrina- Hey, you forgot your thingy.

She picks it up and follows him to the bedroom door then tosses it to him.

Giant- Urgh!

He crumples to the floor poleaxed by his own weapon. Sabrina cover’s her face with her hands and winces.

Sabrina- Sorry.

Run opening credits.

Int. Westbridge High School. History class.

Mrs. Hecht- Fuelled by the flames of vengeance and persecution, the Salem witch trials lasted a year. By the end of sixteen ninety-three, twenty were hanged and the town had seen it’s darkest days.

A deathly hush fills the classroom as the harrowing account of the Salem witch trials holds everyone's rapt attention. Mrs. Hecht becomes suddenly all smiles.

Mrs. Hecht- (Cont.) Okay, two notes on tomorrows field trip to historic Salem. The bus will leave Saturday morning at eight a.m.

Harvey- (To Sabrina) Eight a.m. on a Saturday! That’s just wrong.

Mrs. Hecht- And pack lightly, you’ll be provided with period clothing when you arrive. The idea is for us to fully immerse ourselves in the repressive culture of the time.

Int School hallway. Harvey walks with an unusually quiet Sabrina

Harvey- Do you wanna sit next to me on the trip tomorrow? I know all the good bus songs.

Sabrina- I’m not even sure I’m going.

Harvey- You're kidding, don’t you wanna see where the witches lived?

Sabrina- Big deal!

She walks off and Harvey watches her go puzzled.

Harvey- (Under his breath) Touchy.

Further down the hallway Libby is putting things away in her locker, her friends Jill and Cee Cee are with her. They watch as a boy walks past.

Libby- Hey Adam.

Adam- Hey.

He walks on round the corner.

Jill- He is so into you.

Libby- I know.

Cee Cee- Has he asked you out yet?

Libby- Not yet but it’s only because he’s shy. Adam’s not the kind of guy who would ask a girl to do something. She has to make the first move.

Jill- So when are you gonna do it?

Libby- In Salem. It’s the perfect exotic setting to let Adam know I like him.

Cee Cee- Have you ever dated a baseball player before?

Libby- Oh let's see, football, hockey, soccer, lacrosse, badminton... No!

Int. Spellman Living room. Hilda and Zelda are discussing their weekend plans.

Zelda- What about Carl, we could invite him?

Hilda- Erck! He always wants to bring his skunk familiar

Sabrina enters from the kitchen.

Sabrina- Hey, what’s going on?

Zelda- We’re thinking of having a little Texas style dinner party tomorrow night.

Hilda- I had a hankerin’ fer a seven witch chilli.

Zelda- It’s good eatin’ We’ll save you some for when you get back from your trip.

Sabrina- Oh, I don’t think I can go.

Hilda- Why not?

Sabrina- I’m sick (Cough) See?

Hilda fires off a finger round at Sabrina and as the smoke clears Sabrina is dressed in Eastern costume complete with turban and sat cross legged on a bed of nails.

Sabrina- (Cont.) A bed of nails, why am I like this?

Hilda- Because you're a faker.

Sabrina- Huh?

Hilda- You know, an Indian mystic, a Fakir.

The aunts laugh at their jock.

Sabrina- This is a very painful pun aunt Hilda.

Zelda- The point is, you're not sick.

Sabrina starts to get the point when she attempts to move.

Sabrina- Aw! Oh! Okay, I’m not but I’ve been thinking about it and Salem sounds like a dangerous place for a witch.

Zelda- The Salem witch trials had nothing to do with real witches

Hilda- Besides, that was three hundred years ago. There’s nothing to worry about now except for over priced souvenirs.

Sabrina- Really?

Zelda- Go and have a good time on your field trip.

Ext, Salem historic village. A horse drawn buggy trundles past as a yellow school bus comes round the corner.

Students- (Singing) Eight bottles of beer on the wall,
eight bottles of beer.
You take one down and pass it around,
seven bottles of beer on the wall.

Mrs. Hecht- Okay that’s enough, we’re here.

Harvey- Can’t we finish the song? We were so close.

Mrs. Hecht- Sorry Harvey, no more singing, ye be puritans now. Okay, I’m going to hand out these envelopes..

She passes them to the students at the front of the bus who take one and pass the rest back down the bus.

Mrs. Hecht- (Cont.) Which each contain a card. Don’t open them yet. On each card is a role for you to play while at Salem village. Most of the cards say ‘townsperson’ but one or more may say ‘witch’

Sabrina- Witch!

Mrs. Hecht- If you really play your roles we can make history come alive. Open your envelopes but don’t reveal your card to anyone.

Harvey opens his envelope and obviously doesn’t think Sabrina is anyone.

Harvey- (To Sabrina) I’m a townsperson, what are you?

Sabrina- Who cares? I’m not even looking.

She stuffs her unopened envelope down the back of her seat.

The Historic village of Salem is faithfully preserved with all the people there in period dress and in the village square stands a genuine seventeenth century pillory. The Westbridge students look out of time as they file from the bus in their nineties gear and congregate in the square. They see that there is an unfortunate chap in the pillory and sorely regret not bringing some rotten tomato's with them.

Mr. Pool- Hi everybody.

Sabrina- What’s Mr. Pool doing here?

Harvey- He must be one of our chaperones.

Sabrina- What wont he do for money?

Students still file from the bus and Mrs. Hecht ticks their names as they pass. The last one down is Jenny.

Mrs. Hecht- Jenny, art thou chewing gum?

Jenny- I... art.

Mrs. Hecht- Well, out with it. Had the puritans known chewing gum you can bet they would have been against it.

The history teacher walks away to gather the students. Jenny takes out her gum and wraps it in her card, which say ‘townsperson’ before tossing it into the trash can. Meanwhile in the square someone has kindly released Mr. Pool from the pillory and he stands in his full splendour. He wears a black puritan outfit with white collars and cuffs and a tall black hat with a silver buckle in front.

Mr. Pool- Good morrow townspersons and welcome to Salem. Over there is ye olde inn where ye will eat and sleep and yonder is the meeting hall, where we’ll discuss the towns issues. Now before we spread out I want everyone to pick a buddy.

Harvey- (To Sabrina) Buddy?

Sabrina- Better be.

Jill- Libby, I’ll be your buddy.

Cee Cee- No, I wanna be your buddy.

Libby- Be each others buddy’s. I have someone else in mind.

She leaves.

Jill- (To Cee Cee) You were my next choice.

Libby approaches Adam who is stood on his own.

Libby- Hey slugger.

Adam- Hey.

Libby- Listen Adam, I know you're shy so I’ll make it easy for you. Will you be my buddy?

Adam- Thanks Libby but I already asked Jenny.

Libby- What, like as a joke?

Adam- No

Jenny arrives.

Jenny- (To Adam) Hey buddy.

Adam- Hey.

Jenny- Hey Libby.

Libby- Hey yourself.

She walks off disappointed.

Mr. Pool- So does everyone have a buddy?

Libby- Not me.

Mr. Pool- We can take care of that, I’ll be your buddy Goody Chessler.

Libby- I feel like I’m falling down a well.

Mrs. Hecht- All right, let's change our clothes and begin our morning chores.

‘Ready To Go’ by Republica kicks off and plays through the following.

The students get into the spirit of Salem by changing into period clothes. Puritan fashion sense was based solely around practicality and modesty. For Sabrina and the girls it involves flat, black buckle shoes and black stockings, a black ankle length skirt and bodice with white cowl and apron, toped off with a white bonnet tied off under the chin. For the boys it’s a replica of Mr. Pool’s costume.

Jenny and Adam’s first chore is to make candles by dipping their wicks in molten wax. Easy-peasy.

Sabrina’s not so lucky having to draw water from the town well and carry it slung in two buckets on the end of a yoke across her shoulders, most of it ends up on the floor or on her dress as her knees threaten to buckle.

Mr. Pool is lumbered with chopping wood. He roles up his sleeves grasps the handle of the axe and almost does himself an injury trying to pull the blade from the chopping block. Libby taps him on the shoulder and he moves aside. With hardly a strain she pulls the axe from the block and hands it to him. The weight of the axe pulls Mr. Pool over. Libby walks away disgusted.

Jenny and Adam are still dipping their wicks and enjoying it.

Sabrina tries her hand at horse grooming but the big grey wont stand still for it.

Jenny and Adam are not looking so happy anymore as the build up of wax on their wicks is a good six inches thick and their arm muscles ache as they dip it up and down.

The music fades.

Int. Ye olde inn. Lunch break at last. Sabrina, Harvey, Jenny and Adam share a table. Sabrina digs into a packet of potato chips while Harvey and Jenny pull on their sodas.

Sabrina- I’m starving, I’m glad the puritans had chips.

Harvey- Me too. Man those chores were tougher than baseball practice.

Adam- Yeah, I’m really going to feel that churning tomorrow.

He rubs his shoulder.

Jenny- So has anyone been accused of having a witch card?

Sabrina- No, and I hope no one is.

Harvey- Why not?

Sabrina- Because first you start looking for witches, the next thing you know it turns into a witch hunt.

At another table Libby, Jill and Cee Cee are also taking a breather from their chores. Mr. Pool comes over with his lunch.

Mr. Pool- Do you mind if I sit with you buddy?

He sits with his puritan plastic lunch box and a bottle of puritan orange soda.

Mr. Pool- (Cont.) So, are ye all enjoying puritan life?

Libby- If I’d wanted to do chores I would have stayed home this weekend.

Mr. Pool- Well, life was hard then. You know it wasn’t unusual for a woman your age to be married and have a kid.

Libby, Jill and Cee Cee- (Together) Ew!

At Sabrina’s table.

Adam- Hey Jenny, can I talk to you outside? It’s important.

Jenny- Alone? that’s forbidden.

Adam- Don’t worry, no harm will come of it.

They walk out of the inn past Libby’s table. The girls watch them go.

Libby- Do you see that!

Jill- It’s disgusting

Libby- I can’t stand this, Jenny is going to be so sorry.

She stands and heads for the stairs.

Cee Cee- where are you going?

Libby- To channel my anger into something productive.

She leaves.

Ext. Salem village square. Jenny kneels on a hay bale and Adam sits on the edge of a cart as they talk.

Adam- But before I tell you this you have to promise not to repeat it.

Jenny- Upon my soul.

Int. Ye olde inn. Sabrina sucks her soda through a puritan straw.

Harvey- I could get put in the stocks for this but you look really cute in that outfit.

Sabrina- Thanks, so do you.

Their hands find one another's across the table just as Mrs. Hecht wonders by.

Mrs. Hecht- Ah-a-a-a! unless ye be married there will be no holding of hands.

Sabrina- Jeez, ye be really into this.

A scream is heard from upstairs.

Harvey- What was that?

Sabrina- It came from the attic.

Everyone rushes for the stairs.

Int. Ye olde Inn. Attic. It’s converted into a dormitory for the guests and Mrs. Hecht’s the first one up the stairs followed by just about everyone. They find Libby sat cross legged on her bed with her hair in braided pig tails.

Mr. Hecht- Libby, what’s wrong?

Libby- She did this to me! Jenny’s specter flew in through the window and braided my hair.

Sabrina- Why?

Libby- To make me look dorky. Her spirit also threw my shoes out the window and I’ll prove it.

She gets off the bed in her stocking feet and leads the gathering back down the stairs.

Ext. Salem town square. Libby runs out of ye olde inn and points to her shoes on the floor.

Libby- There! See what Jenny’s stupid specter did to my shoes. I wasn’t lying, that's proof.

Harvey- Of what?

Libby- That Jenny’s card says witch.

Sabrina- That’s ridiculous, Jenny’s not a witch.

Mr. Pool- True or false, the puritans would have taken these allegations very seriously.

Mrs. Hecht- That’s right, so as puritans you have a choice. You can either deal with the witch accusation or... go back to your chores.

An easy choice for Jill and Cee Cee.

Jill- I saw Jenny with the devil!

Cee Cee- I saw Jenny with the devil!

Libby- I saw Jenny with the devil!

Libby, Cee Cee and Jill- (Chanting) Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch!

Jenny arrives.

Jenny- Hey guys, what’s going on?

Libby, Cee Cee and Jill- (Chanting) Witch! Witch!

Libby- Get her!

Sabrina grabs her friend by the arm.

Sabrina- Come on, run.

They run into the inn followed by the chanting mob.

Libby, Cee Cee and Jill- (Chanting) Witch! Witch! Witch!

Int. Ye olde Inn. Attic. Sabrina pushes Jenny up the stairs.

Jenny- What was that all about?

Sabrina- They think you're a witch.

Jenny- Really? Cool.

Sabrina- Maybe in some circumstances but not right now. So just tell me, did your card say witch?

Jenny- Nope, townsperson.

Sabrina- Great. Then you're off the hook, just show it to them.

Jenny- I can’t. I spit my gum out in it.

Sabrina- How could you? That’s what the wrappers for!

Jenny- Why are you getting so worked up?

Sabrina- Because they’re persecuting you and if they can do this to you, they could do it to anyone.

Jenny- It’s just a game.

Sabrina- Yeah but what if you were a witch and this wasn’t a game?

Mrs. Hecht comes up the stairs.

Mrs. Hecht- Goody Kelly, you're wanted in the meeting house. It’s time for you trial.

Sabrina- Why couldn’t we have just recreated thanksgiving?

Int. Salem Village Meeting House. Mr. Pool sits as judge and in the witness box stand Libby, Jill and Cee Cee. The townspersons fill the seats as Mr. Pool wraps his gavel on the table for attention.

Mr. Pool- Let's begin the trial. Bring in the accused witch, Jennifer Kelly.

Jenny enters and stands in the dock. Mrs. Hecht takes her seat beside Mr. Pool as one of the judges. Libby rubs her arms.

Libby- Cold! Cold! She’s making me cold!

Sabrina enters and heads for a seat beside Harvey. Libby’s a lone voice and gives Jill a nudge with her elbow.

Jill- Cold! Cold!

Cee Cee- Cold!

Libby- Cold!

They all shiver and rub their arms.

Sabrina- Oh put a sweater on!

Mr. Pool bangs his gavel again.

Mr. Pool- All right. Jennifer Kelly, you are accused of being a witch. Do you confess it?

Jenny- No.

Mr. Pool- But didn’t your specter twist Goody Chessler hair and toss her shoes?

Jenny- No, I’m pretty sure my specter was with me the whole time.

Mr. Pool- Where were you? You weren’t in the dinning hall when Libby screamed.

Libby- She was with Adam, unescorted.

Mr. Pool- How unseemly.

Jenny- We were just talking.

Mrs. Hecht- About what?

Jenny- I... can’t say, I’ve been sworn to secrecy.

Mr. Pool- There are no secrets from the court.

Sabrina- Then ask Jill if that’s her real nose.

Jill glares across at Sabrina.

Mr. Pool- Silence! Jill’s nose is not on trial here.

Mrs. Hecht- You will tell the court what you were discussing Jenny or be held in contempt.

Jenny- Do with me what you may, I will not betray a trust.

Ext. Salem town square. Sabrina holds a soda bottle with a straw so Jenny can drink from it in her awkward position within the pillory.

Jenny- That’s enough.

Sabrina- I’m really proud of the way you stood up to everyone Jenny.

Jenny- Thanks. Did they find the key yet?

Sabrina- No.

Jenny- Man, I wish I really was a witch. I’d zap open these stocks and broomstick it outa here. Hey there’s Adam.

Sabrina looks round to see him.

Sabrina- I’ll go talk to him.

She lifts her skirts and hurries over.

Sabrina- Tis a providence you're here. Where’ve you been?

Adam- Walking in the woods.

He sees Jenny locked in the pillory and runs over.

Adam- (Cont.) What happened to Jenny?

Sabrina- She’s been accused of being a witch. They’ve put her in the stocks because she won’t tell the court what you were talking about.

Jenny- Your secrets safe with me.

Adam- I’ll tell the court, ye will not suffer on my account.

Jenny- No don’t!

Adam- Besides, they would have found out Monday.

Int. Salem Meeting House. Sabrina comes in followed by Adam and Jenny, they must have found that key.

Sabrina- We have new evidence. Adam will testify.

She sits beside Harvey as Jenny resumes her place in the dock, Adam stands beside her. Mr. Pool bangs his gavel, he really enjoys that.

Mr. Pool- What say ye?

Adam- Mr. Pool, today at lunch I did speak with Jenny.

Mr. Pool- Then what was the nature of your conversation?

Adam- This is kinda hard for me but I’ve decided to quit baseball.

A tremour of shocked gasps reverberate around the meeting house, Harvey stands indignant.

Harvey- What! But you're our best short stop, why would you do that?

Libby’s always quick to spot an opportunity, she points at Jenny.

Libby- Witchcraft!

Everyone- (Chanting) Witchcraft! Witchcraft! Witchcraft!

Adam- No, no! I just wanted to spend more time on my studies.

Libby- Jenny has witched him, she’s turned a man against sport.

Everyone- (Chanting) Witchcraft! Witchcraft!

Adam- Don’t blame Jenny, blame coach. He’s insane.

Everyone- (Chanting) Witchcraft! Witchcraft!

Sabrina stands up and comes forward. She puts her finger and thumb into her mouth and lets out a piercing whistle that silences the chanting mob.

Sabrina- Listen to yourselves. You’ve no proof Jenny’s a witch.

Libby- We have no proof she isn’t either and that’s good enough for me.

Sabrina- But that’s ridiculous you could say that about anyone in this room.

Libby suddenly jumps and clasps her arm.

Libby- Aw! She’s pinching me! She’s pinching me!

Mr. Pool- Jenny, stop pinching Libby.

Libby- Not Jenny, Sabrina.

Sabrina- What! I’m not doing anything!

Libby- Yes you are. Aw!

She gives Jill and Cee Cee a little nudge.

Jill- Aw! Ow! Aw!

Cee Cee- Aw! Aw! Aw!

Libby- Aw! She has a witch card. Sabrina is a witch!

Sabrina- Me? A witch? That’s ridiculous.

Libby- So you deny it?

Sabrina- Well I...... I’m not even gonna to dignify that with an answer.

Libby- Because you're a witch.

Sabrina- Stop saying that!

Libby- Witch!

Sabrina- Careful or I’ll....

Libby- What? Hex me? Witch!

Sabrina- Libby, you don’t know what you're talking about. I think right now the only witch in this room is...

She points across at Libby and her pent up emotions release something from deep within.

Sabrina- (Cont.) You!

The bright ball of sparkling magic energy leaps across the room. Libby, Cee Cee and Jill dive for cover as the ball whizzed over their heads and ricochets off the wall, skids round behind Mr. Pool and Mrs. Hecht. Comes bouncing off another wall and shoots down the isle between the meeting hall seats. Everyone ducks down as it finds its way out of the hall and dissipates amongst the natural energies of the surrounding countryside. An abundance of wild flowers and a record apple crop are noted by the towns locals that year. In the meeting house Sabrina’s the only one still standing and she hides her face in her hands. Slowly people get back to their seats.

Harvey- What just happened?

Mr. Pool- I can explain it.

Sabrina- You can? Oh good.

She scurries back to her seat beside Harvey.

Mr. Pool- Yes, er I may be wearing funny clothes but I’m still a science teacher and what we just saw was ball lightning. A very rare and unusual phenomenon. Aren’t we lucky?

Libby- Lucky? It almost killed me!

Sabrina- But it didn’t. Let the record show, it didn’t.

Mr. Hecht- I think that’s enough for today. Tomorrow there’ll be more candle making, cow milking and the trial of Sabrina.

Mr. Pool bangs his gavel one more time.

Int. Ye olde Inn. Sabrina’s on ye olde pay phone.

Sabrina- Hello aunt Zelda!

Zelda- Oh Sabrina, we were just sitting down to chilli.

Sabrina- Everythingsgoingcrazy, Idon’tlikeitanymore, youhavetocomegetme!

Zelda- Sabrina, slow down. You're hard enough to understand when you're not agitated.

Sabrina- I want you to come get me.

Zelda- Don’t you like Salem?

Sabrina- No, please come get me.

Zelda- What’s going on?

Sabrina- I’ll tell you when you come get me and don’t fly, drive. You two arriving on vacuums is not gonna help.

She hangs up.

Int. Spellman dinning room. Hilda ladle's out the chilli to their guests from the number two cauldron as Zelda enters from the kitchen.

Zelda- We have to go, Sabrina needs us.

Hilda- Oh, All right.

Zelda- (To the guests) Sorry guys. Salem, you're in charge.

Salem- Yes! Control, chilli, I have it all!

He laughes maniacally.

Ext. Salem village square, A pleasant, balmy evening has the townspersons taking the air as the stroll round the town. One person looks out of place as she comes out of Ye olde inn accompanied by Harvey. Sabrina’s changed back into her nineties gear.

Harvey- I still don’t get why you're taking off.

Sabrina- There’s just something about this town. Oh there are my aunts.

A red Cadillac convertible with the top down pulls into the dusty Salem square.

Sabrina- Well, it’s been fun. Bye Harvey.

She stretches up on her toes to kiss him.

Harvey- Come on, stay.

Sabrina- I can’t, sorry. See ya Monday.

She dashes over to the Cadillac as it pulls up.

Hilda- Hi Sabrina. We would have been here sooner but your aunt drives like an eight hundred year old lady.

Sabrina- Well, let's hit the road.

She tosses her bags into the back seat.

Zelda- Not so fast. What’s going on?

Sabrina- Well we’ve been doing this role playing game.

Zelda- Well that sounds like fun.

Sabrina- No it’s not. People think I got a witch card, they’ve accused me of being a witch.

Hilda- I tell you, this town needs a disco.

Zelda- Well do you have a witch card?

Sabrina- I don’t know, I didn’t even look at mine and I have no idea where it is.

Hilda- This is new. mortals have been accusing each other for centuries but I think this may be the first time they actually got a real witch.

Sabrina- It’s supposed to be a game but it doesn’t feel like one to me. They think being a witch is a bad thing.

Zelda- Oh you know it isn’t.

Sabrina- So then why can’t I tell people I am one for real.

Hilda- It’s not a good idea. Trust me, they won’t understand.

Sabrina- Well they almost found out today. I came this close to blowing my cover and if I take the stand tomorrow I can’t honestly claim my innocence and then what?

Zelda- Sabrina, calm down. There’s a lesson to be learned here and you're going to stay and learn it.

Sabrina- You're not going to take me home?

Zelda- No.

Sabrina- Can you at least give me a hint of what the lesson is?

Zelda- It’s about accepting who you are.

Sabrina- I don’t know who I am, I lost my card.

Hilda- You don’t need a card to tell you who you are.

Zelda- That’s right.

Sabrina- What’s right?

Hilda- You know what’s right, and now it’s time for us to go home to our chilli.

Zelda- And everything will be fine.

The aunts get back in their car.

Sabrina- So you drove an hour to give me some vague platitudes?

Hilda- That’s what being a parent is.

Zelda- You’ll thank us when you're forty.

Sabrina- Not if they hang me I wont.

Ext. Salem village square. Sabrina’s back in her puritan costume sat beside Harvey as he churns milk. She sits looking unhappily at the passing townspersons.

Harvey- I’m really glad you stayed.

Sabrina- How could I miss doing chores and standing trial? Harvey, can I ask you a question?

Harvey- Is it about my feelings?

Sabrina- Yes.

Harvey- ...Okay.

Sabrina- If I were a witch would you still like me?

Harvey- You got the witch card!

Sabrina- No, forget about the game. What if I were a real witch?

Harvey- Would you have supernatural powers?

Sabrina- Yep.

Harvey- How could I not like that? So, what kinda things would you do?

Sabrina- Hmm! I might turn Libby into a goat, or change my clothes a lot, or make a giant flaun.

Harvey- That’s all? Wouldn’t you wanna do cooler stuff?

Sabrina- Like what?

Harvey- Like, create a big, freaky machine that could fly, or make... pizza, or...

Sabrina- See? it’s not so easy.

Mrs. Hecht comes out of Ye olde inn.

Mrs. Hecht- Sabrina, it’s time for your trial.

Sabrina- (To Harvey) Wish me luck. Is my bonnet on straight?

Harvey makes a small adjustment.

Harvey- All set.

Mrs. Hecht- Great. The cart will be here in a moment.

A little later. The horse drawn, wicker cart comes round the corner. Sabrina stand alone within it as the townspersons really get into the games spirit.

Townspersons- (Chanting) Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch!

They fall into line behind the cart and follow to the meeting house.

Townspersons- (Chanting) Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch!

Someone throws a rotten cabbage it hits the wicker side of the wagon by Sabrina’s hand.

Sabrina- Hey, watch it with the cabbage

Int. Salem meeting house. The three witnesses stand together in the witness box as Sabrina is brought in.

Libby- Itchy! Itchy! She’s making us itchy

Cee Cee and Jill take up the call, scratching at themselves.

Jill- Itchy! Itchy!

Cee Cee- Itchy!

Sabrina- Wearing wool, we’re all itchy!

Mr. Pool bangs his gavel to get order as Sabrina steps into the dock.

Mr. Pool- We will continue with the trial of Goody Spellman. Goody Chessler has accused you of being a witch. Do you confess it?

Sabrina- Yep.

Libby- You do?

Sabrina- U-hu, I’m a witch but I lost my card, so I guess I’m not a card carrying witch. Ha-ha-ha but I am a witch.

Mr. Pool- All right then er, I guess that’s it. Er, just sign this confession and we’ll begin shunning you.

Harvey- Wait! (To Sabrina) What are you saying? You're not a witch. (To The court) That was a false confession.

Sabrina- Harvey, I have no problem saying I’m a witch.

Harvey- But I know it’s not true.

He walks over to the dock beside Sabrina.

Harvey- (Cont.) I mean, look at this face. Is this the face of a witch? No. Witches are horrible, ugly things and they melt when you throw water on them. Look!

He takes the tankard of water from in front of Mr. Pool and throws it’s contents into Sabrina’s face. Sabrina gasps in shock and wipes her face on her apron.

Harvey- (Cont.) See? She’s still there.

Sabrina- Thanks Harvey but what you just described is a stereotype. I mean how do you know witches are ugly, have you ever seen one?

Harvey- No.

Sabrina- (To The court) Well maybe you fear witches because you’ve never met any. Yes witches are different from mortals but different isn’t bad. I mean maybe there are witches among us right now but we’re so close minded, they can’t tell us who they are and we’re the ones missing out because if we just accepted witches maybe there’d be a big pizza party right now. So I ask you, can we accept witches?

Everybody- No!

Libby- No! Down with witches.

Sabrina- (under her breath) Aunt Hilda was right.

The angry muttering goes on and Mr. Pool has to bang his gavel a number of times.

Mr. Pool- Order! Order! That was a lovely speech Sabrina but the bus will be here soon and it’s time for the group to pass judgement on you and Jenny. Please stand before us.

Sabrina steps down from the dock and is joined by Jenny and they stand before the court.

Mr. Pool- (Cont.) Goody Kelly, you have been accused of being a witch and have been given a chance to defend yourself. Who here believes Jenny has a witch card?

The townspersons signal by clapping and a brisk round of applause quickly builds.

Mr. Pool- (Cont) Take that as a yes.

Jenny- Oh man, is this going on my record?

Mr. Pool- Goody Spellman, you have been accused of being a witch and have been given a chance to defend yourself. Who here believes Sabrina has a witch card?

Just one pair of hands clap, even Jill and Cee Cee don’t join in with Libby.

Mr. Pool- (Cont.) The mob has spoken. The court finds Jenny guilty of being a witch but is letting Sabrina off for lack of enthusiasm.

He bangs his gavel marking the end of proceedings. Sabrina turns to Harvey.

Sabrina- But I confessed, I confessed!

Harvey- Nice try Sabrina. No one can accept you're a witch.

Sabrina- Oh they are never getting a pizza party now.

People start to disburse and Libby walks up to the bench and confronts Mr. Pool and Mrs. Hecht.

Libby- So how will Jenny be punished?

Mr. Pool- Libby, we're not going to punish Jenny.

Libby- After what her specter put me through?

Mr. Pool- Well if it makes you feel any better you can pretend we hanged her.

Libby- That’s not good enough. Well shouldn’t she at least have to sit in the stocks until the bus comes? I mean she’s a witch and we hate witches.

Sabrina’s been listening to Libby rant and took offence at her last remark. She surreptitiously points Libby’s way and Libby suddenly starts to shiver, rubbing her arms.

Libby- (Cont.) Whoo, I’m cold. I’m really cold.

She turns to Jill and Cee Cee.

Libby- (Cont.) Aren’t you guys?

Cee Cee- No.

Jill- Maybe I’m a little chilly.

Sabrina stifles a smile and licks the end of her finger before letting her hand drop flicking her finger at libby has it falls.

Libby- Oh! I just got a wet willy! This is witchcraft!

Mrs. Hecht- Libby, you're taking this too far.

Libby- But you have to believe me.

One more discrete point produces a small monkey that sits on Libby’s shoulder with it’s tail around her neck. The monkey wears a fez but no one can see it other than Libby and Sabrina.

Libby- (Cont.) Ahhh! There’s a monkey on my shoulder! There’s a monkey on my shoulder! Get it off me! Get it off me! <Sob!>

She runs round the room but everyone just looks at her puzzled with bemused smiles because there’s nothing there.

Mr. Pool- Libby, there’s no monkey on your shoulder.

Libby- Ohh! <Sob!>

The monkey grabs hold of Libby’s bonnet and chitter's.

Libby- (Cont.) Okay look, I was making it up before but now I really see a monkey.

Sabrina- Did you hear that? She was making it up.

Libby- <Sob!> Of course I was. <Sob!>

Sabrina- So you confess, you were just pretending to be cold and itchy and dorky?

Libby- Yes! Yes! <Sob!> Now can we please deal with the monkey on my shoulder?

Mr. Pool- In a second. First, given new evidence that Libby was making stuff up we will reverse Jenny’s conviction.

Jenny- My specter and I thank you.

Mr. Pool- And for perjury Libby will spend the day in the stocks until the bus comes.

He bangs his gavel with finality.

Sabrina- Whoo-hoo!

Everyone files out of the meeting house.

Libby- (Calling After) Don’t you see him? He’s wearing a fez and saying ook! Ook! Ook!

People shrug and shake their heads until she’s finally left alone. Libby and the monkey look at each other.

Libby- (Cont.) Ohh! <Sob!>

Ext. Salem village square. Sabrina walks with Harvey. They are back in their normal gear with their bags packed ready to go.

Harvey- I think my mom really gonna like this home made butter.

Sabrina- I got a kitchen witch for my aunts.

She holds up the stuffed witch on a broomstick. Across the square Mr. Pool struggles with the lock to the pillory.

Libby- Oh no, my nose is itchy!

Mr. Pool- I’ll help you out there buddy.

He scratches Libby’s nose. She can’t do it for herself because she’s the one in the pillory.

Libby- Oh, I just hit the bottom of the well.

The students gather around as Mrs. Hecht signals them to come close.

Mrs. Hecht- I hope you enjoyed your stay at Salem but before we get on the bus I wanna let you in an a secret. What we’ve been studying is not just seventeenth century life but human nature. The persecution, the hysteria of three hundred years ago arose again today and all it took was an idea planted in your head. The idea that someone different was among you.

Libby- It wasn’t just an idea, I did see a monkey.

Mrs. Hecht- And that’s what hysteria can do to you.

She pats Libby on her head as it sticks out of the pillory.

Harvey- So who did have the witch cards?

Mrs. Hecht- No one had the witch card. Every single card said ‘townsperson’ I didn’t create the witches, you did. Now think about that on the ride home.

Int. School bus. Sabrina and Harvey settle down in their seats.

Harvey- So, should we do the last seven bottles or go back to ninety-nine?

Sabrina- I don’t know. I’m just going to sleep the whole way back.

But she can’t get comfortable, something's digging her in the butt. She reaches behind her and pulls out an unopened envelope.

Sabrina- (Cont.) So that’s where my card went, my proof was here the whole time.

She opens the envelope and takes out her card. Her eye widen with shock and surprise, then she quickly hides it away again. Her card said ‘WITCH’

Int. Spellman Kitchen. Sabrina enjoys the left over chilli that was saved for her as Zelda admires the souvenir she brought back.

Run Credits

Zelda- A kitchen witch! Sabrina, thank you, that was very thoughtful. We’ll hang it over the cauldron.

Sabrina- I thought you’d like it.

Hilda- So are you glad that you stayed at Salem?

Sabrina- Yeah. It was a pretty freaky weekend though but you guys were right. I learned a lesson.

Zelda- What lesson?

Sabrina- The lesson.

Hilda- Oh, that lesson. I’ll get more pie.

She starts to get up.

Sabrina- Wait! don’t get up.

She points over to the counter where the pie is and does the old ‘My Favourite Martian’ trick to levitate it to the table.

Sabrina- (Cont.) It’s so good to be home and be myself again.



Pic of the Week